Wait until his dad finds out it’s available in white

Posted on April 19, 2011 8:00 am

Jesse Jackson, Jr. — living proof that Chicago is full of idiots — says that the iPad kills jobs. Not Steve Jobs. Employment jobs.

(The iPad is ) probably responsible for eliminating thousands of American jobs. Now Borders is closing stores because, why do you need to go to Borders anymore? Why do you need to go to Barnes & Noble? Buy an iPad and download your newspaper, download your book, download your magazine.

When his dad, noted racist scam artist Jesse Jackson, finds out that the iPad comes in white things will really get nasty.

But, in fairness, Jesse Jackson, Jr. is right. The iPad does kill jobs. And we need to put a stop to it now!

But, we don’t need to focus on the iPad alone. We should also be wary of other technologies that eliminate jobs.

Like the automobile. Think of all the livery stables that could shut down if this whole automobile thing catches on. And blacksmiths. How many blacksmiths are able to get through the lean times because of the horseshoe trade? They may have to shut down, too.

The aeroplane. If people start using these flying machines to travel, the stagecoach could go the way of the dinosaur. Then what would Wells Fargo do? Go into banking?

Guns. This one item alone could shut down the spear making industry.

Printing press. Just the thought of this thing catching on and putting all those scribes out of work.

Television. People might stay home instead of going to a vaudeville or burlesque show. What will mediocre comedians do? And what will strippers do? It could be the end of an industry.

Yes, it’s horrible all the jobs that will be lost because of these new-fangled devices. We must nip this in the bud.

Let’s follow Jesse Jackson, Jr’s lead. Let’s start by stopping the iPad.

In fact, you can send your iPad to me. That’ll save hundreds, nay, thousands of jobs.

Do your part, America.

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19 Responses to “Wait until his dad finds out it’s available in white”

  1. Iowa Jim says:

    I don’t have an iPad. Can I send you a rotary-dial telephone instead?

  2. Lolziter says:

    And what will strippers do?

    I wonder.

  3. ussjimmycarter says:

    I just brought my brand new baby IPAD home yesterday! It’s all white and such! I love it! I’m glad it’s not black! That would suck because I’m a conservative and we hate all things black, especially people! My IPAD is the coolest one on the block! I got the Ginormous one with Verizon and the cool folding cover that acts as a stand also! I wasn’t going to get one, I have an IMAC, a MAC Laptop, two IPhones, 3 IPODS but when I read about Jackson’s comment, that cut it! I plopped down over $900 large for mine with the cover! Now I am IReady to ITake Ion the IWorld! So IDon’t IMess With IMe! Or II will IHave to ISmote IThee! IUSSJIMMYCARTER

  4. DamnCat says:

    And what will strippers do?

    Depends. How much cash you got?

  5. Jimmy says:

    Does the IPad come with Windows 7? I mean, what about Microsoft? They’ll go out of business!!

    [Windows 7 on an iPad? Only an idiot would try that. – B.]

  6. Duke of Earl says:

    Basil don’t give the left more reasons to go after my guns. Saving the spear industry is a better argument than most out there.

    Also, are the thousands of jobs saved by giving you “our” Ipads (I don’t own one) similar to the eleventy billion jobs saved or created by the stimulus packages?

  7. Penultimatum says:

    In a just society, JJJr would be taken out and beaten.

  8. Carolyn says:

    I agree!

    If we don’t stop email, then the Postman and Postmaster General Ford Lincoln Mercury will be out of a job.

    If we don’t stop telephones, smoke signal educators will be out of a job.

    If we don’t stop common sense, Keith Olbermann will be out of a job. Oh wait… too late.

  9. AwesometificAmerican says:

    Is it ironic that Progressives seem to always be against Progress?

  10. ussjimmycarter says:

    Can someone invent something to make car dealers go away? That would be awesome! Like, an ICarPOD or something. You could like type in what you want and everything and your new car is mailed to you and UPS picks up your old car and like takes it to an old car place.

    I’d buy an ICarPOD if they come out with one! It better not run Windows 7 though. That might be my first clue that it’s not an Apple product…

  11. Son of Bob says:

    “Television. People might stay home instead of going to a vaudeville or burlesque show. What will mediocre comedians do?”

    The View and The Daily Show.

  12. Burmashave says:

    AwesometificAmerican says:
    Is it ironic that Progressives seem to always be against Progress?

    Don’t forget that “Bolshevik” means “majority” in Russian. The name was chosen precisely because the Bolsheviks were not the majority. In choosing the name, the Bolshies were able to fool enough voters to become the majority party at the socialist congress. Personally, I think that Stalin would have gotten wood over the double-speak that produces gems such as “spending reductions in our tax code.”

  13. EdthePastor says:

    Crap I’m confused. Do I keep my abbacus or buy a IPad, if we put in High Speed Rail won’t that kill electric cars? Or does that enhance the need for them? So cofused, but I did set my Cub Scouts right on Earth Day. We talked about burning old tires to clean up o’mamma Gia at last night’s Pack meeting.

  14. tom says:

    JJjr is an infintesmal marker of Chicago idiocy. Living in Chicago I get to see it first hand, first there were the 24 odd years of Daley and the 22 ish years of Daley Sr. before that (12 years between the 2 of them) Governor blogoyavitch look up John and Todd stroger we gave the nation Obama. and i voted for NONE of them

  15. ussjimmycarter says:

    I have a black VW Passat! (hangs head in shame…) Now I don’t even want to drive the thing because it’s black and I hate all things black! What should I do? I could go out in the garage and open a can of white paint and brush it on. That would work for awhile, until it like rained and stuff. I can’t believe I bought a black car! I must have been all Kumbaya or something! I’m going to punch the salesmen when I take my car in for service in a couple of weeks. That will feel good, just because he’s a car salesman but especially because he sold me a BLACK car! I’m going to have to get those glasses with the nose and mustache attached and start wearing them along with a hat so that nobody knows who I am when I’m driving it!

  16. ussjimmycarter says:

    YEA…my comment is awaiting moderation!!!

  17. Jimmy says:

    It had the words “VW Pâssat” and “sâlesman” in it, ussjc. Woidpress thought you were a Volkswagon spammer.

  18. ussjimmycarter says:

    Jimmy, you take that back! I’ve been called a lot of things in my day but a Volkswagon Spammer cut’s it!

  19. J.M. Heinrichs says:

    Two iPads!!!! … because I sold #3.

    Cheers

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