America Needs a Better Villain

Posted on May 17, 2011 11:01 am

New Pajamas Media column. Read and be impressed with my smartiness.

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19 Responses to “America Needs a Better Villain”

  1. zzyzx says:

    As far as I’m concerned there’s none better than Eric Holder.

  2. Burmashave says:

    America needs a great villain to overcome, and as long as our big enemy is a bunch of primitive thugs servicing themselves in barren compounds, we’re going to be stuck in a rut.

    I laughed so hard that I copied the line here to say how hard I laughed at it! Good on ya, Frank J.

    As far as enemies go, it might be useful to demonize the triad of Kim Jong Il, Imapajamahead and Caesar Chavez. Kim has the nukes, Iran has the missiles, and Chavez has range to the US (see Hotair). Any of the three do not inspire villain-ery, but mebbe as an axis of badness, we might generate national loathing. You might say, “But Burmashave, if Chavez gets nukes, we’ll just send a few B2’s to take them out, so quit your mongering of fear.” All well and good, but I would reply, “Venezuela is a big place. Remember how much trouble we had finding a few scuds while enjoying the bliss of complete air superiority? Besides, carpet bombing went out of style in the ’60’s, and liberals have been on a rabid quest to cripple our missile defenses since the 80’s.”

  3. hwuu says:

    Very insightful article Frank.

    I propose a super villain alliance between Mexico and China. We would have our hands full if those two got together.

  4. Keith says:

    Another smart blog, Three Sources, is already touting your column:

    Say hi from me when you visit –

  5. plentyobailouts says:

    I am totally stealing your solution. “Shoot em in the head, chuck em in the sea, confiscate their porn!”
    LOVE IT!!

  6. EdthePastor says:

    Love your new tag line

    “Frank J. Fleming writes political humor at and always makes sure his byline is handled according to Islamic traditions.”

  7. plentyobailouts says:

    Aww Frank, quoting you is moderated. Dern.

  8. Steve says:

    Frank – kudos for not mentioning Aquaman.
    I know it must’ve been hard.

  9. FormerHostage says:

    Nuff said

  10. MarkoMancuso says:

    We are in quite a jam. America’s greatest villains are not evil and smart like communists. They aren’t evil and tough like Jimmy Cagney characters. They are liberals. They’re not evil like commies or Cagney characters, but they reap untold damages. They’re not terribly smart, but they gain power anyway. They’re not all tough, but Republicans are too chicken to fight.

    They are a symptom of America’s tolerance for people who don’t do anything productive. Americans are thus our own worst enemies. We are, in short, Christian Slater in that terrible television show. Quite a jam indeed.

  11. Chris Muir says:

    This article is made of Pure Awesome®.

  12. FormerHostage says:

    Chris…hope you don’t mind me using Zed’s likeness. It actually looks like me…after extensize plastic surgery and botox overdose.

  13. hwuu says:

    Frank how about a T-shirt with “Shoot em in the head, chuck em in the sea, confiscate their porn!”

  14. ussjimmycarter says:

    When they asked Konan what’s best in life he said “Shoot em in the head, chuck em in the sea, confiscate their porn!”

    You have figured it out once again ma boy! We need a new Super Bad Tough to take on as an American People. There’s the French but they all already have their white flags laying out on their table next to the front door because they know we don’t cotton to one of our being raped so they don’t count! Canada…ehh Russia and China together? I don’t know we like fly in with a few B1 Bombers that they can’t see coming and like nuke the bajeebers out of them… No that doesn’t work. We need evil space aliens or…I’ve got it! The Obama Administration! Let’s take them on! I don’t know if we can win this one, but if we all pull together we might just squeak it out.

  15. ussjimmycarter says:

    I got moderated! I got moderated! I got moderated! I’m somebody! Yay! So cool! I luv it! I think it was the word squeak that did it…

  16. Chris Muir says:

    FormerHostage, thanks for using the image! :)

  17. 5of7 says:

    I am impressed with your smartiness.

  18. Peter says:

    I am so impressed by your smartiness that I toss and turn all night when I realize that you are raising a child. Seriously, though, “Shoot ’em in the head, chuck ’em in the sea, confiscate their porn” ought to be our national policy. Perhaps if we then gave the porn to Congress they’d be too busy to spend all our money before we’ve even made it.

  19. 5of7 says:

    Just make sure the pron doesn’t contain ads for more pron or other ‘adult’ products they can buy otherwise they’ll be whining for access to the credit card again.

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