So first Tim Pawlenty goes to Iowa to speak out against ethanol subsidies, and now he’s gone to Florida to call for Medicare and Social Security reform. Dude is crazzzzzzzzz…
Okay, fell asleep again, because it’s still Tim Pawlenty. Still, he’s getting more interesting. Maybe with just a little help, he could be an exciting, dynamic candidate.
TIPS FOR TIM PAWLENTY TO BE MORE EXCITING
* Go to a biker bar. Pick fight with largest guy there.
* Vow to put our nation’s resources towards building a giant, city-destroying robot.
* Change name to Snake Pawlenty.
* Drive around in a solid gold rocket car.
* Use straight talk to tell a few states, “Your state sucks; I don’t even want your votes. I hope you all die.”
* Call your campaign the “Pawlenty of Pain Tour”.
* At every appearance, have walls of flame surround the stage when you’re speaking.
* For a fundraiser, rob a bank.
* Start debates by ripping off your shirt like Hulk Hogan.
* Explosions everywhere you go.
* Wear a patch eye.
* End a speech by breaking a cinder block with your head.
If he follows my advice, think of how exciting he’ll zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…