The Moon Is a Harsh Generator
The Japanese have been worried about power since what happened with their nuclear plant and the ever increasing power demands from robotic toilets, so here comes a new plan from the Japanese: Turn moon into giant disco ball run by robots to generate all the earth’s power.
I like it. As I’ve said before, I’m pretty disappointed in the reality of 2011 versus I would have thought it would be like when I was a kid. I mean, it’s been more than four decades since we landed on the moon, and we’re still just hanging around in earth’s orbit seeing how zero gravity affects plants. It’s pathetic. Now here’s a big futuristic idea — with robots! — to go back to moon — and not just for funsies but for a profitable venture. I don’t care how practical it is; we should get to it.
I do see one problem with it. One day people will say, “President Frank J., you can’t nuke the moon! You’ll knock out all the earth’s power!” And I’ll be like, “I don’t care! It must be done!” And I probably will take a huge dip in the polls when I do it, but some things are more important than polls.
Eh, I’ll do it in my second term.
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(11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
May 31st, 2011 at 5:38 pm
“That’s no moon.”
May 31st, 2011 at 6:05 pm
then we could focus all that energy in to a Giant Death Ray!!!1!!
May 31st, 2011 at 6:39 pm
Step 1: Fly Hollywood stars and Justin Bieber to the moon.
Step 2: Nuke moon.
Step 3: Smile.
May 31st, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Ya mean the whole moon as some giant, rotating, disco ball laser show? Or lots of parties on the moon with disco balls and dancing in 1/6 G? I’m confused here. It’s late and I need a beer.
May 31st, 2011 at 10:21 pm
Do it in the last couple of week of second term after having invited more and more of the earths current bad guys up there to party. Promise Grand Firework Display.
June 1st, 2011 at 3:07 am
So when are you going to jump into the fray, ma boy? I think you should apply for Melon Secretary having graduated from Carnagie Melon University. Sarah Palin will make that appointment and then you can start secretly working your way to the top by knocking off your rivals (Clinton play book)! Before you know it WHAM! You will be National Security Advisor and that’s when you start planting seeds about the moon. Then after 8 years of the Palin Administration (the last 4 with you as VP because the last VP had an unfortunate suicide, 5 shots to the back of the head) you can then launch your POTUS victory tour!!!
June 1st, 2011 at 3:51 am
We could build nuclear powerplants on the moon. That way, if we have a meltdown, it will be like nuking the moon.
June 1st, 2011 at 11:03 am
What could possibly go wrong?
At last, robots have the means for world domination. Blammo! They re-target the system and start blasting a beam of 13,000 terawatts of microwaves across swathes of the earth. All attempts to reason with the robots fail because they are robots and can’t even reason. But then, a hero steps forward, a voice who has been crying in the wilderness. “Nuke the Moon!” He urges. Finally comprehending the wisdom of this man, the people cry out as one, “Nuke the Moon!” Even pantywaist politicians cannot refuse, and so the moon is nuked.
Having been saved, the world calls for this man, known only as Frank J., to lead them. Frank says, “No. The world is dumb. I will lead the United States and the rest of you will be scared of us.”
And so, the legend of Frank J. was born.
June 1st, 2011 at 12:26 pm
I see a flaw in the Japanese plan. Does anyone make an extension cord that can reach from the Earth to the moon?
June 1st, 2011 at 10:47 pm
#8 – Burmashave,
Brilliant!
June 2nd, 2011 at 12:49 am
The moon sends a beam of energy, nuking the Earth?
How’d that work out on Alderaan?
Not.
So.
Well.