Tips for Not Appearing Crazy on the Internet

Do you want to look less crazy on the internet? Sure; we all do. So while I can’t help you not be crazy, in my new Pajamas Media column I have some tips to make it less obvious you are crazy when you post or comment on the internet. They’re aren’t any crazy people at IMAO, but maybe you can pass it on to someone you know.

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28 Comments

  1. THAT was FREAKING awesome FRANK j! It’s too bad that it’s too late for these people now that Hitler (I mean Obama) has brought us to the end of the World!!!1!!! 666 and out!

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  2. * Try not to believe in more than one end-of-the-world scenario at one time, mkay?

    * If you do believe in the end of the world, make darn sure your pets are cared for afterwards by people who mysteriously remain.

    * If you believe in reincarnation, let us know who you plan to be next time so we can avoid knowing you.

    * If you believe in ghosts, please take pictures, or better yet, videos. Your hallucinating anecdotes just don’t cut it.

    * If you believe in out-of-body experiences, you can always explain it as having harmless “floating dreams.”

    * If you’re trying to sound smart on the radio or internet, give up using phrases like “having said that” and “absolutely!”

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  3. I’ve just identified a new symptom of insanity in myself — reading every stinking one of the crazy comments to the PJM piece. And re-reading some of them to see if they really said what I thought they did, and they did. And they were crazy.

    I’d better look for a shrink now.

    No, wait. I just proof-read and edited this comment, so I must be OKAY now!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. I had grave doubts about you spilling the beans on how not to seem crazy, Frank. It sounded like a recipe for a lot more crazy in sheep’s clothing. Soft cotton crazy is bad enough but that scratchy wool crazy can really drive people insane. Gives me the itchy heebie jeebies just thinking about it and I’m not even a little crazy (note my sentence structure). But I digress.

    Then it occurred to me that maybe we’re all crazy and some of us just hide it better. Can someone be crazy but never act crazy? I don’t think so. So maybe, just like emotions, crazy not only seeps from the inside out but also from the outside in. And if crazy can seep, maybe anti-crazy can seep too. So keep up the good fight, Frank.

    Wouldn’t it be ironic if IMAO became famous for its anti-crazy seepage? Ironic because that wouldn’t be arrogant at all. That would be humble. And therefore awesome. And decades hence, when our grandchildren are looking up dirty words in the urban dictionary, they’ll come across IMAO and it will say “In My Awesome Opinion”.

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  5. I’m a crazy people, and with due respect, you don’t get us. It’s not about convincing other people of the truth of our OPINIONS; it’s about convincing them of the truth of US. If you doubt something I say, but then I can prove it was true, then you’ve made me do extra work for something that you should have just believed from the outset. Therefore you owe me a credit of believing the next thing I say without me having to prove it.

    And for the record, proof in this case means that you can’t disprove it. If I make a point and you don’t refute it with the excuse that the grammar was too poor or that it was too long, then you have to concede that it’s right. Those are the rules.

    Ultimately the goal is to get all this annoying debate out of politics. There’s one right answer and the sooner everyone accedes to it, the sooner we can get on with just enjoying ourselves. We have that answer, so stop debating.

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  6. Thanks for the public service, Frank. The deal as I see it is that in the physical world, crazies do a very good job of self-identifying through their clothing, grooming and speech habits, not to mention the semi-psychotic glare common to their ilk. Thanks to Frank J., we now have a heuristic for identifying their actual insanity in a virtual world where body odor is harder to use as a clue.

    P.S. Thanks for not identifying a propensity to return to tired themes as a clue. I would have been a goner. Citing the use of archaic sentence structure would have also put me in the loony category.

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  7. CRAZY is such a subjective word.
    It’s sort of like ‘you say tomato, I say Sarah Palin’.
    Sometimes ‘crazy’ is the way..zy. Many thought the flyin’ Wright brothers were crazy (no relation to Rev. Wright) or the idea of men walking on the moon or that a communist/socialist/muslim could be President of the United States. Crazy is in the mind of the beholder.

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  8. Yeah, that was a really funny and well written piece, Frank. I especially liked how a couple of legitimate nutjobs did show up in the comments and proceded to validate everything you just wrote.

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