Nuke the News: Hopefully You Have Power to Read This

* So I guess hurricane Irene was overhyped, but Katrina was overhyped too (remember when it was tens of thousands dead and people were turning to cannibalism?) so that doesn’t mean the damage wasn’t bad. Still, when you hear that Washington D.C. is getting hit with a earthquake and a hurricane within a week, it sounds like God is finally deciding to lay down His wrath on them, but from the results it doesn’t look like His heart was into it.

* People are acting like it’s a big deal that Rick Perry called Social Security a Ponzi scheme, but could someone explain to me how in any way it’s not a Ponzi scheme? There are no actual investments in it, and if new people stopped paying into it, it would stop being able to pay out, i.e. it’s completely dependent on new investors to keep the image of stability making it a text book Ponzi scheme. The big difference between it and other Ponzi schemes is that the government forces you to pay into it, so it doesn’t matter if you know it’s a scam. And the big difference between politicians and Bernie Madoff is that Madoff probably had more respect for other people’s money.

* In more Rick Perry news (I’m guessing we’re going to see a lot of Rick Perry in the near future), he’s billed the federal government $349 million for the cost of Texas having to deal with illegal immigrants. But if everyone sues the government for incompetency, then soon it will be bankrupt and… actually then probably have the same or better in levels of competency. This is an idea we should run with.

* If you were thinking liberals might finally get in more touch with reality to be competitive in 2012, here’s Jonathan Alter with an article demanding people prove Obama’s been a bad president. I guess by his logic you’re a great president until proven incompetent or something. See, I would have thought the burden of proof would be on Obama that he’s actually ever done anything useful, but what do I know; I’m not a partisan nutjob. Anyway, I guess this will be their 2012 campaign slogan: “9% unemployment, skyrocketing debt, leadership that consists of repetitive, pointless speeches — but you can’t prove he’s a bad president!”

* Actually, here’s about as close as you will get to objective proof in these sort of matters: A comparison of Reaganomics and Obanomics. Both had inherited an economic mess, both had huge unemployment at about this time in their presidency, but one cut taxes while the other just spent and spent and spent and expanded government. And only one had GDP growth skyrocketing by reelection time. But those Keynesians sound so smart! They’re plans would totally work if we were attacked by space aliens.

* Inside of compound of Libyan leader Qdaffy, they found an album filled with photos of Condoleeza Rice. Everyone always thought Qdaffy was a weirdo, but it ends up he’s just like the rest of us.

* So far, the Obama administration hasn’t been seizing people’s guns like they feared — in fact, they’ve even given out guns to Mexican drug cartels — but now the Obama administration has started confiscating axes. The U.S. Justice Department raided Gibson, accusing it of having exotic wood, to which Gibson replied, “That’s what she said.” So Obama’s connecting with the young people by declaring war on rock & roll. Actually, does that pop garbage kids listen to even have guitars in them? KIDS THESE DAYS AND THEIR MUSIC!!!

* I finished reading the Hunger Games series at SarahK’s recommendation, and while I could nitpick it to death (so much important stuff was told instead of shown and why in a book about people fighting to the death was a stylist such a prominent character? Oh yeah; because it was written by a woman), it was overall very engrossing and I highly recommend it.

BTW, I’m trying to read more since it’s kind of silly that I’m trying to write scifi and fantasy but barely ever read any myself as an adult. What do you guys recommend in current fiction? I like stuff that’s fun and not so ponderous. For now, I’ve started John Scalzi’s Old Man’s War.

* Make sure you read my column that was posted on Pajamas Media yesterday. In it, I apply the Coolidge Test and see whether a sack of hammers would have performed better, worse, or about the same as Obama in the various challenges he’s faced. Not to reveal too much, but SACK OF HAMMERS 2012!!!

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58 Comments

  1. I’m really enjoying George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” series at the moment. Though it is incredibly expansive and requires something of a time commitment if you’re going to read the whole thing. Pretty much a rumination on the medieval period told through a fantasy lens.

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  2. I don’t read much scifi and none of the Ender series by Orson Scott Card but recently read Ender’s Shadow, retelling the first book as Bean experienced it, starting as a four year old kid living on the street. Card seems to be religious and probably conservative from some comments I have read since.

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  3. “Monster Hunter International”, “Monster Hunter Vendetta” and “Monster Hunter Alpha” by Larry Correia. They have monsters, guns and the funniest take on garden gnomes I’ve ever seen!

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  4. I second Larsinkima’s “Good Omens” recommendation, and further recommend some of Gaiman’s short stories, especially “October in the Chair” and “A Study in Emerald.” although they’re not really light. In the non-SF department, if you can find a copy of “Pirates of Pensacola” by Keith Thomson, that’s a fun read.

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  5. It’s hard to find good sci-fi, but you can’t go wrong reading Tom Clancy. Start with ‘Without Remorse’. John Kelly (Clark) is a bada$$. Jack Ryan grows on you, but can be a bit emotional.

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  6. Geez, the feds just raided my album collection and took Rubber Soul.

    Apparently, Norwegian Wood is on the endangered list.

    Try reading Dies the Fire series by Stirling. It’s getting long (he keeps putting out sequels), but it’s really two series. The first one is more secular, book 4 and later start getting more metaphysical.

    They’re what happens here after Nantucket goes to the Bronze Age in the Island on the Sea of Time series, another fantastic series.

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  7. Hey…so, I’m minding my own business reading through comments and WHAM out of nowhere I take a shot from the very ghey Marco. So like what’s up with that? You’d never catch me taking shots at other readers…(Jimmy is Marco’s girlfriend) and Prego is getting fat. So like let’s keep it civil, K?

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  8. So, like when I look at a picture of Condi I get major wood. This should be determined, I think as “exotic wood” and therefore I’m worried (given the massive volume) that the ATF is going to be blowing my door down one of these days…

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  9. “The U.S. Justice Department raided Gibson, accusing it of having exotic wood”

    Makes perfect sense that the Soros/Obama government is trying to shut down another symbol of American superiority and pride based on Indian (not American) laws, thus destroying still more American jobs. After all, that’s much more important than cracking down on the importation of actual people, which actually brakes American law and is helping to bankrupt the country.

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  10. BTW, I’m trying to read more since it’s kind of silly that I’m trying to write scifi and fantasy but barely ever read any myself as an adult. What do you guys recommend in current fiction?

    Most editors say they are looking for something original with a unique voice. Make sure you don’t learn so much that you become unpublishable.

    I would recommend a hard study of style and the mechanics of both publishing and writing, and less of a study of common science fiction.

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  11. Peirs Anthony SF/Fantasy: 1)”Battle Circle” (great ‘trilogy’ read); 2) “Race Against Time” (good quick SF read)
    Piers Anthony Series: 1) Incarnations of Immortality (Start with Time “Bearing an Hourglass” and Death “On A Pale Horse” then work from there); 2) Bio of a Space Tyrant (great series); Xanth (young adult;very light humor/fantasy); Adept

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  12. alibris.com rules! And yes, Dohtimes, Orson Scott Card is both religious and conservative – he is a member of the Church of Latter Day Saints, and some of his writings reflect that background. Very informative, for those of us on the outside, wondering what it’s like. “Lost Boys” is one such work, if you can bear the heartbreaking story.

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  13. I have a photo album of DamnCat with pop ups… oh sorry; I thought I was MarkoMancuso for a moment.

    Everyone needs to back off of ussjimmycarter! Why would ussjimmycarter have photos of Madeleine Albright and Hillary when we all know how he likes to “play leapfrog” with his blow up dolls of Helen Thomas and Janet Napolitano?

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  14. Carolyn, please don’t insult me that way.

    By the way, someone call DamnCat and tell him to pick up one of his little buddies! He sits around all day on the road to my residence and begs for food. Someone, undoubtedly a female human, gave him a box and a towel. Ridiculous! How can someone support an animal so shiftless? Why shouldn’t he have to hunt for his food like most real animals?

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  15. @ #28 storm1911: Good point, storm. Perhaps there are combinations of ‘up’ and ‘in’ that ussjimmycarter prefers.

    Marko, I’m glad to hear that you have such deep concern for Irish children, because, indeed, they do learn to grow/hunt for their own food! It’s the Irish way. Potatoes!!! (Also, if you saw my beans right now, you might scream. They won’t stop producing! I eat, I blanch / freeze, I give away, I turn my back one day and I have to pick 10 lbs. all over again. It’s been like this for a month. Anyone want some green beans? Maybe cats can learn to like them w/Tuna flavoring.)

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  16. Since the wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband has to sleep on the floor to avoid any chance of contact, which could happen pretty easily, since he had been desperate for quite a while.

    Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him & sees the poor guy curled up on the floor, eyes stare widely into the empty air, filled with hopeless desire. Feeling sorry for her husband, she opens the top drawer of her night table, takes out a fifty dollar bill, and gives it to him.

    “Awww, honey, you’re so depressed. Here, take this & go to the woman next door, she will let you sleep with her tonight. Remember, this happens only this once. OK?” The husband can’t believe his ears, but afraid that she may change her mind, he grabs the money and leaves quickly.

    A few minutes later, he returns, hands the bill back to the wife & says dejectedly, “Crystal says this is not enough, she wants eighty.” The wife’s face slowly turns red with anger,

    “Why that damn b…h! When she was pregnant & her husband came over here, I only charged him fifty.”

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  17. My recommendation for Science Fiction is “Into the Looking Glass” By John Ringo. This is an exceptional combination of Science, Philosophy, Theology, and a battle against invading Space Aliens! See if you get the inside Science joke. But, be forewarned, once you get started, its hard to put down and it’s only the first book in the series.

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  18. Stephen R. Donaldson’s The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever. I read that back in the 70’s so play disco music in the background while you read it. One of the only fantasy novels that I still recall from time to time. It is not a light read, lotsa internal conflict. Was very theraputic when I was going through a crisis of faith (teens to twenties).

    Pray for me as i read the Liberal troll’s blog page. Forgive me Frank for I have sinned

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  19. Terry Pratchett is my favorite (living) English author.
    You know an author is good when he can make the Specter of Death a sympathetic and recurrent character. (Mort, Reaper Man, Soul Music, Hogfather, Thief of Time).
    Then there’s his books that feature Guards as main characters – you know, the poor slobs who charge onto the scene in most fantasy novels, get hacked into pieces by the ‘hero’ and are never mentioned again? (Guards! Guards!, Men at Arms, Feet of Clay, Jingo, The Fifth Elephant, Night Watch, Thud).
    And his books featuring the Wizzard Rincewind (imagine if Shaggy from Scooby-Doo had flunked out of Hogworts). (The Color of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Sourcery, Eric, Interesting Times, The Last Continent, The Last Hero).
    Or the worlds meanest ‘good’ witch, Granny Weatherwax (Equal Rites, Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies, Maskerade, Carpe Jugulum).
    And a bunch more (over 30).
    Caution: if you read too many, you won’t have time to write!

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  20. Prego – It’s just starting… The Hard Way, The Nasty Way The Hard and Nasty Way of The Funny is an art. Dames don’t always get it…but we start out with a shot and build momentum going forward until you are a quivering lump asking for the bad man to go away…

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  21. One of my favorite sci-fi authors is Timothy Zahn. He’s written all sorts of stuff, including the only good (non-canonical) Star Wars books. His work is often more light and fun than “hard” science fiction, but almost always good.

    I recommend Night Train to Rigel as one of his best recent works (and the start of series), and Spinneret which is one of his “harder” science fiction books, but it’s 20 years old and may be hard to find.

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  22. Brandon Sanderson writes consistently entertaining Epic Fantasy: Elanrtris, Mistborn Trilogy, Warbreaker, Way of Kings (Stormlight Archive). I will second George R.R. Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire (5 books so far). I’ll take Martin over Tolkien any day. Orson Scott Card is the only SF author I still follow.

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  23. Try Garth Nix. He writes “young adult” novels, but they’re quick reads, with some darkness to them. If you’re looking for another series, read his “Abhorsen”. Starts with “Sabriel”, Lireal”, then ends with “Abhorsen”. I read it because my daughter brought it home, and I wanted to see what she was reading. I’ve read it many times since then.

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  24. My favorite Terry Pratchett novel was Thud.

    They stated at this sudden, bloody, swaying apparition, which was dreamily waving a sword in one hand and an axe in the other.
    They had axes, too. But the thing glared at them and asked:
    “Where’s… My… Cow?”
    They backed away.
    “Is that my cow?” the creature demanded, stepping forward unsteadily. It shook its head sadly.
    “It goes Baaaa!” it wept. “It is… a sheep…”
    Then it fell to its knees, clenched its teeth, turned its face upwards, like a man tortured beyond his wits, beseeching the gods of fortune and the tempest, and screamed:

    “No! That! Is!! Not!!! My!!! Cow!!!!!”

    The words echoed around the cavern and broke through mere rock, so great was the force behind them, melted mere mountains, screamed across the miles…
    And in the somber nursery, Young Sam stopped crying and looked around, suddenly happy but puzzled, and said, to his despairing mother’s surprise: “Co!”

    (Sam Vimes reads a bed-time story to his son – because some things are IMPORTANT.)

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