Random Thoughts
I’m sorry, but my thoughts were all well-ordered and predictable yesterday, so there are no random thoughts. You can try thinking randomly in the comments if you want, though.
BTW, SarahK wants suggestions for the theme for Buttercup’s first birthday party.
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August 31st, 2011 at 8:52 am
First Birthday= cupcakes. Hopefully Buttercup is far enough along with her solid foods that she can enjoy a nice little cupcake. All the rest you do is for the Mom. Parties and gifts etc. are going to be barely noticed by little buttercup, but she will be delighted with a cupcake.
August 31st, 2011 at 8:53 am
Buttercup’s 1st Birthday…STRIPPERS!!! Then lot’s of booze and such and it’s always fun to get hammers and have a tattoo artist “at the ready” in case anyone get’s inspired! How does that sound? I’ll bet Buttercup would have a blast!
August 31st, 2011 at 8:55 am
All a baby cares about is the cake. Thus, I say you have a cake-themed party.
Babies also like pinatas. Not beating them (they can’t lift bats very well), but pulling the little paper streamers off.
August 31st, 2011 at 8:58 am
Monkeys! My daughter’s first was about Curious George! Of course, that’s racist.
I have no idea what theme Cat might suggest…
August 31st, 2011 at 9:04 am
Mad Max. You can dress Buttercup up as the feral kid and one of the ganddads can be Humongous. The chase scene in the back yard should be a hoot.
August 31st, 2011 at 9:06 am
Query: If you are told to have a random thought then is it truely random?
August 31st, 2011 at 9:10 am
Hippie Punching!
Buttercup can improve her motorskills by smashing several hippie shaped cakes.
August 31st, 2011 at 9:10 am
If I was Buttercup and I was turning 1 and you people were all suggesting a ghey birthday party with cake and pinatas, I’d be gettin’ ready for some nad punchin’!!! My 1st birthday is a special day and this is the best you can come up with?
Drag Strip rides! Buttercup can drive but the pedals are a problem. Put her in like a Dodge (1972) Roadrunner with 440 4bbl, Headers (uncapped of course), Hurst Shifter and slam on the accelerator. She will giggle!!!
Strap her on the back of a Sazuki Hayabusa motorcycle and crack throttle open full blast!!! Let the front tire go airborne for the first couple hundred feet down the track. More awesome super fun!!! She will throw up all that cake but it will be worth every second…about 6 of them!!!
August 31st, 2011 at 9:14 am
I agree with ussjimmycarter. Buttercup won’t remember this party so why not make it one everyone else will remember (or, depending on the quantity of booze consumed) forget.
Be sure to have a designated Buttercup watcher so Family Services doesn’t take her into protective custody.
August 31st, 2011 at 9:25 am
Of course and don’t forget to take pictures so she can see just how much everyone else enjoyed her birthday party. Don’t forget to get one of people puking. Nothing says fun like a good vomit, you know, the kind you think maybe you’ll see your shoes in the john with the next hurl. (having spent holidays, birthdays and especially New Years eve/day, as a child, observing this situation I can relate)
On a more child friendly note. While themes are fun just having family and friends together for cake (either a small one for Buttercup to wear or cup cakes) is the best thing, all the rest is just frosting (pun intended-sorry). Don’t forget to either leave her in her diaper or be ready to hose her down. That cake will get everywhere. What fun!
Happy Birthday Princess.
August 31st, 2011 at 9:46 am
Party themes:
You can’t go wrong with cats. Twenty minutes of insane running around followed by a 3 hour nap.
I was going to suggest hippie punching as well – but WyoScotch beat me to the…uhh…post. Get one of those blowup clown punching bags and dress it up as a hippie. Much fun will be had by all – especially Sarah who can take it out in the backyard after the party and blow it to kumbaya.
August 31st, 2011 at 9:53 am
It should be all about Daddy’s Princess and protecting her innocence. The necessity for Hippie Punching will come soon enough. For now, 2 cakes. One for Buttercup and one for close family and friends. Fire up the grill and go crazy with the cameras. Theme: “Family & Friends”
August 31st, 2011 at 10:01 am
Since Buttercup won’t remember it anyways, I say, who cares? Then again, I’m not a woman, and even worse, I’m an engineer. That reminds me of a joke…
So, an engineer, a doctor, and a priest are out golfing. They’re going along, and they get stuck behind a group that’s just miserably slow: they’re taking forever to set up and hit; their shots are terrible; they take forever to find their balls; etc. So the doctor calls over one of the greenskeepers and asks him what’s up with these guys. The greenskeeper answers, “Well, a while back we had a big fire in the clubhouse, and it was a total disaster. Those guys are some of the firefighters who helped put out the fire. They kept going back in to rescue some people who were trapped, and in the process, they’ve lost their vision. We felt so bad and were so grateful to them that we let them play whenever they want for free. It’s the least we could do.”
The priest says, “That’s so sad. Tonight I’m going to say a special prayer for those guys, bring their plight to God’s attention.” The doctor says, “I’m going to talk to some of my optometrist and opthamologist buddies and see if anything might be done to restore their sight.” The engineer says, “Why can’t they just play at night?”
August 31st, 2011 at 10:03 am
Baby’s share of the national debt. This could also be a sub-theme that can be repeated yearly.
You could scrap-book it with colorful charts and such.
August 31st, 2011 at 10:29 am
From personal experiance: a big pink ice cream cake, so she can get her feet into it and slam gobs of tasty goodness in her little mouth while Dad cheers her on and Mom panics over the mess. A proper 1st birthday.
August 31st, 2011 at 10:42 am
Cake. And cupcakes. Or, a cupcake cake.
And get someone else to take pictures and video. That way, there are plenty of pix and vid with all 3 of you. Trust me on this.
August 31st, 2011 at 10:43 am
…and after Buttercup takes a bath in her own little cake, you send the video to AFV, and Wah-La! Ten grand just like that, baby!
August 31st, 2011 at 10:45 am
Birthday??? It seems like it was just a year ago that she was a newborn infink. This will be a big year for her because by this time next year, she will have doubled her age.
Party like it’s 1999!
August 31st, 2011 at 10:45 am
Oh, you said theme. Easy: Princess. Every princess there is. Disney, Princess Bride, generic princesses, all of them.
But what I said about cupcakes and an extra photographer stands.
August 31st, 2011 at 10:52 am
First-birthday parties are not for the child but the parents, and anyone who throws one is an idiot.
Just give the kid some frosted cake, take some pictures and/or video, then throw a fun party for yourselves if you feel you must have one.
Don’t invite a bunch of their ‘friends’, because 1-year-olds don’t have friends.
If you feel you must throw an actual birthday party, don’t continue to be an idiot and have one every year. Why in the world does a kid need a stinking birthday party every stinking year? To get a bunch of presents they’ll rarely play with? Meanwhile, you have to buy 20+ presents a year because every idiot parent feels they have to throw a birthday party for their kid every year, and heaven forbid if they don’t invite every classmate/friend the kid has for fear someone is left out and they cry and their parents end up hating you because you didn’t invite their bratty, spoiled kid to your needless, annual, stupid, birthday party.
So throw a party if you must, but remember, if you do, the terrorists will have won.
(I never had a birthday party growing up, and as you can see, I turned out just fine.)
August 31st, 2011 at 11:08 am
year 1 is a celebration of walking attempts.
cover the garage or drive with rolled out paper and provide watercolor paint stations at the edges for the kiddos to step in.
I’m expecting four colors of dance moves in 5 minutes by the meta-stable 1 year olds in attendance.
Followed by a wash station
and then cupcakes
August 31st, 2011 at 11:08 am
and allows cats to participate
August 31st, 2011 at 11:52 am
Cupcakes are not proper fare for ANY child’s birthday! It’s miserly, smallish, overly neat and tidy, and cheap! Get this girl a large, decorated chocolate cake and let her paint her face with it and/or plant her face in it!! It’s a right of passage to have your first birthday picture of yourself covered in chocolate, grinning and wondering what comes next. Party favors a must! Hats, horns, etc., etc. The theme is HER.
August 31st, 2011 at 11:54 am
Theme for Buttercup’s first birthday?
Whiskey and Wii.
She’s one. Give her an empty box and a scoop of strained peaches and she’ll be all happy giggling while you drink whiskey and play Wii and are all happy and giggling.
That’s just win-win.
August 31st, 2011 at 12:19 pm
RULES FOR BUTTERCUP’S BIRTHDAY PARTIES:
1 – No clowns: Kids hate clowns, adults hate clowns, who in their right mind would want to be a clown…or a dentist.
2 – No ponies: The guy with the pony never lets you actually “let ‘er rip” and gallop across the open space…just trudging in a circle…ghey.
3 – No kids music: Honestly, anyone who would make an album of kids music, even for money, is ghey. Don’t promote that agenda to your child.
4 – Pin The Tail On The Donkey: Use real pins the way the game was meant to be played. The actual game is boring, the other kids getting stuck with pins is what provides the fun.
5 – Cake: Do not under any circumstance order the small cake. Nothing sucks more than a “sliver” of cake. Get two cakes if necessary.
6 – Cupcakes: Cupcakes can always be substituted for cake, but only if each child can have at least two.
7 – Gifts: Really, birthdays are all about gifts. And, a child of age one can’t appreciate gifts. So, ask for things the “whole family” can use…like a PS3.
8 – Which brings us to #8: Only invite people who will buy good gifts. Out of work or living in trailer parks = no invite.
9 – The kid who gets hurt: There’s always one kid who always seems to fall and get hurt and tries to ruin the vibe. Don’t invite that kid.
10 – Strippers: Really, most of a one-year-old’s happiest moments have revolved around breasts. They’re her favorite things, they’re your favorite things…strippers make everybody happy.
August 31st, 2011 at 12:35 pm
RE: Genghis Khen: YES YES YES! I have argued this for years, but somehow this means I’m a butthead.
RE: ussjimmycarter: I agree that a dragstrip party could be cool for a 1 yr old girl, but it needs to be in a Chevy, not a ghey Dodge. Preferably a Corvette, but a Camaro or Chevelle would also do nicely. Small block or big block does not matter because all Chevys rule.
August 31st, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Why not a Marine Corps theme?
August 31st, 2011 at 1:25 pm
No ghey ponies. Instead have dinosaur with rocket launcher rides. You can aim the rockets at a plethora of hippie-shaped pinatas filled with candy, but make sure everyone has on protective gear because there’s nothing worse than a burning, molten Jolly Rancher hitting you in the face at 2000 meters per second.
For the younger kids, might I suggest a Musket to the Junk shooting gallery?
August 31st, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Be sure to include a Mexicannon. Every party that I’ve been to that had one has been great.
And Son of Bob’s rule against clowns means no Obama, just in case you were wondering.
August 31st, 2011 at 2:03 pm
A first birthday should be special.
1.Gather illegals
Shoot illegals out of a dinosaur mounted mexilauncher into a cake filled paper machete figure of a hippie.
2. Juggle cats and drink booze so dropping the cats doesn’t make you feel bad.
3. Pin the tail on the marxists. marxist always like getting tail.
August 31st, 2011 at 2:12 pm
hmm, fondue party, pinball machines, jello shots and beer bongs. oh wait, she’s 1? scratch the fondue, babies hate fondue
August 31st, 2011 at 2:19 pm
UNRELATED TRULY RANDOM THOUGHT:
Chaz Bono has proved that there are some things even too ghey for “Dancing With The Stars.”
August 31st, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Well, she’s probably too young for a zombie theme, so you should probably go with either a spaghetti western theme, or maybe a ninja theme.
August 31st, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Male cats with their tales tied up in the air, Buttercup with a stick, nads a bangin’ o’plenty!!! Now that’s a Birthday party!!!
August 31st, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Oh yea, it is time that Buttercup learns to fire a weapon. So for her birthday, take her out, hand her your Desert Eagle and stand back!!! She’ll get the hang of it faster than you think!
August 31st, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Theme for a 1st B-day party? Doesn’t matter a whole lot as long as it’s colorful and ends with cake smeared all over Buttercup. That said, provide margaritas for all the adults and it’s a guaranteed win!
August 31st, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I am of the firm belief that, as it is “Princess Buttercup’s” birthday, you should recreate the ‘Fire Swamp’ (with large rats and quick sand and fire shooting out of the ground). Yea, that’s the ticket.
September 1st, 2011 at 2:12 am
Hookers! Hooters gals and Hookers for all!!! Good girl and Happy birthday Buttercup!!!
September 1st, 2011 at 3:52 am
THIS ONE FOR SARAH (you’re just the dad, Frank)
As a mom of four, whatever theme you choose, my advice: keep it really small and simple – if you want Buttercup to enjoy it. They get overwhelmed and start bawling with anything big – believe me, been there, done that….
September 1st, 2011 at 9:08 am
How about an NCIS theme? Sarah can be Abby or Ziva. I prefer Abby with the tatoos and pigtails, but Ziva could keep order. Frank has to be Tony. Then don’t forget Ducky and Palmer by the stainless steel table with the passed out guy laying there. Basil can play Probie. Pretty cool!
September 1st, 2011 at 10:53 am
For a 1st birthday, give Buttercup a cupcake and have a good time with all your adult friends, maybe a BBQ or a sit down dinner. Everyone will of course coo and smile over Buttercup, which she will like.
A 1 year old will know nothing about her first birthday except what she learns through the embarrassing pictures you take of her at 1 year old, and show her in her teen years. I suggest iButtercup being held by a famous person who is later arrested for a heinous crime, as pictures to take. Maybe Vice President Biden can drop by?
September 2nd, 2011 at 1:24 am
Our oldest child (now 3.5 yrs) devoured his own cake. Not a cupcake, a small cake.
Our second (now 18 months) are the frosting off his cake.
Get her her own cake.
September 2nd, 2011 at 3:56 pm
Jell-o shots! Guns and blowin’ s@$* up. Scotch, much scotch.
September 3rd, 2011 at 6:49 pm
As perfect as she is, she’s still not a mensa, so just go to Micheal’s and get a round box (yes, they have those there); then frost that and she’ll think its a cake. She’s not going to get past the icing anyway, and you’ll be out, what 7 or 8 bucks? Then, you take the rest of the birthday party budget money, invite your friends, buy some white lightening and have a hoedown. Which reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy redneck joke….you might be a redneck if someone yells hoedown and your girlfriend hits the floor. Hysterical.
Buttercup is so precious, I can’t believe she’s already one.