AttackWatch!!!

Posted on September 14, 2011 8:15 pm

The Ministry of Truth Obama Administration has launched AttackWatch.com which will let you report people saying mean things about Big Brother the president.


[Direct link]

You can help. Go to AttackWatch.com and file a report.

Or, if you want, you can list things here. I’ll start.

  • I saw on the news that unemployment is up. I want to report the news.
  • I was going to report the Communist Party, but they support Obama’s tax hikes. So never mind about them.
  • There was a dog in the neighborhood that was barking. It sounded like a mean bark. So he had to be a Teabaggerz dog. I want to report him.
  • I started a movie on Netflix the other night when the president was on TV speaking, and the movie played instead of showing Obama. I want to report Netflix.

I’m sure there are plenty of other things you’ve seen that should be reported.

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48 Responses to “AttackWatch!!!”

  1. Jimmy says:

    Basil, I wanna report that, according to reports, the President a paper-hanging son of a beotch, reportedly.

  2. Jimmy says:

    Depending on the presence of the word “is” and what the meaning of “is” is.

  3. MikeL says:

    It could be like Operation: Wesistance from a few years ago.

    I’m planning to send in old Obama quotes that contradict current Obama dogma.

  4. Geoarrge says:

    I reported AttackWatch.com for being a clever false-flag operation probably by A. Breitbart.

  5. thickntwisted says:

    I reported that there was some kind of website that was trying to revise history before Obama’s term was even over.

  6. melissa says:

    brilliant. thank you. especially loved the “mean report”! I’m so in.

  7. Dodsfall says:

    I bet the Gestapo wished for a system of reporting one’s neighbors as efficient as the internet.

  8. Lance McCormick says:

    Little old lady got mutilated late last night.

    Conservative werewovles of London again.

  9. Basil says:

    Lance McCormick:

    We don’t mutilate little old ladies. We push them off cliffs. Don’t you pay attention to Dear Leader’s talking points?

    But, that was funny.

  10. Dohtimes says:

    I want to report the darkness of night for being racist since the only time Barry’s ears and Moochelle’s fine big ol’ booty can’t be seen from outer space is when the also racist sun sets on them. Also the moon men are racist for always calling east of Moochelle’s ass the dark side of the earth.

  11. Jimmy says:

    Now there’s a site watching AttackWatch!!

    It’s AttackWatchWatch:

    http://www.attackwatchwatch.com/Home.html

    I wonder if anyone reported them to AttackWatch?

  12. Basil says:

    Jimmy:
    That’s funny!

  13. FormerHostage says:

    * I want to report the Urban Dictionary for defining SCoaMF!

  14. CrustyB says:

    I read somewhere that Obama attracts bears. Bears can smell the menstruation

  15. blarg says:

    I’d like to report a cat.

    Cats are bad people.

  16. DamnCat says:

    I’d like to report blarg for saying that cats are people. Now that’s smear!

  17. willy says:

    I signed up as George Orwell. I got a nice letter from Barack, inviting me to dinner:
    To: George Orwell
    Subject: Sometime soon, can we meet for dinner?
    Date: Wed, 14 Sep 2011 13:30:19 -0400 (09/14/2011 10:30:19 AM)

    Friend –

    Supporters like you are the reason I’m here, and the values we share have always made our organization more than just a political campaign.

    So whenever I can, I want to take the opportunity to meet you. Last month, that meant I got to talk to folks in Iowa about small-business opportunities, and sit down with a group of volunteers from around the country who helped build this campaign in their communities this summer.

    Today, I want to ask if you’ll join me and three other supporters for a meal and conversation sometime soon.

    Please donate $5 or more to be automatically entered for a chance to join me for dinner.

    If this sounds a bit familiar to you, it’s because we’ve done this before. In fact, my hope is that I’ll be able to keep doing these dinners throughout the campaign.

    They’re a chance for me to talk one on one with people like you who are taking ownership of this campaign and connect with the work going on every day in neighborhoods across the country.

    These dinners also set our campaign apart. No matter what our opponents do over the next 14 months, dinners like these are how we will continue to put people at the heart of this campaign — and prove that we don’t need checks from Washington lobbyists or special-interest PAC money to win an election. We can do it person to person, in our neighborhoods and backyards, and over the dinner table.

    That’s why I’m asking for your donation today. I hope you’ll take a minute to help build this campaign. When you do, you’ll have a chance to join me for dinner:

    zzzz,barackobama.com/Dinner

    Maybe I’ll get to thank you in person.

    Barack

  18. Crabby Old Bat says:

    The lady next door scraped the Obama bumper sticker off her car. Attack!!!

  19. Son of Bob says:

    I just reported CBS News for FALSELY reporting that Obama claimed that there would be “no boots on the ground” in Yemen. The Pentagon just confirmed that there are American forces in Yemen, so clearly this story from January of this year was a blatant lie.

    link

  20. DamnCat says:

    @Son of Bob – I want to report the US Armed Forces for making a liar out of Obama. You know they only went there to make him look bad.

  21. Son of Bob says:

    Just found this Facebook site…priceless:

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/AttackWatch/219045798150540

  22. Jimmy says:

    So AttackWatch is $timulating the Con$ervative economy? Yay! We ju$t love to hate you, Mr. Pre$ident.

  23. CarolynthePregnant says:

    I’m SOOOOOOOOOO reporting this website. You guys are in trouble now! Not me though; I’m claiming pregnancy hormones. I have to start behaving; I go to the White House Friday. I’ll start the mind meld now: I love the jobs plan I love the jobs plan I love the jobs plan….

  24. Jimmy says:

    How much attack could AttackWatch watch, if AttackWatch could watch attack?

    You will mutter that as you enter the White House, CarrolynthePregnantHormones.

  25. DamnCat says:

    I want to report Carolyn’s in-process baby.

  26. Son of Bob says:

    @DamnCat,

    You can’t. According to liberals, it isn’t a human.

  27. BornLib says:

    So far I’ve reported Sarah Brady (gun control under the radar), James Hansen (Obama should be arrested for oil pipeline), and Harry Reid (Harry Reid rebukes Barack Obama over Israel at AIPAC).

  28. ussjimmycarter says:

    I reported all of you losers!!! Frank J and Buttercup too! I’m sick and tired of the greatest POTUS ever being treated so badly by you people! I’m a staunch Obama supporter and am tired of Our Dear Leader (May He Live Forever) taking guff from you!!!

    I now shall wait for my huge cash bonus from the Obama campaign! You might want to pack up your stuff and RUN! Muwhahahahahah!

  29. zzyzx says:

    The proper word among knowledgeable leftwing types isn’t report…It’s denounced.

  30. Critter says:

    My cat was licking his balls in an inappropriate manner. Report him.

  31. storm1911 says:

    After seeing the moaning and whining and HuffPo and DU over the election losses, we should report the hardcore democrats to the Dept. of Correct Thinking.

    Good catch, Basil.

  32. CarolynthePregnant says:

    You know what, Jimmy? I just might do that. Who’s got odds that I get arrested?

  33. Jimmy says:

    You need to tell us the story about why you’re going to the White House, CarolynthePregnantOne.

  34. Burmashave says:

    I reported myself for thoughts counter to the fundamental transformation.

    Re-education camps are the next step anyway. I’ll be ahead of the curve.

  35. DamnCat says:

    Hey – since I think we all know that every one of us is going there – maybe IMAO can get it’s own cabin at re-education camp. Dibs on a top bunk!

  36. blarg says:

    I’d to report our illustrious all knowing messianic President Obama. By actually being responsible for all the bad stuff people are saying about him he’s causing encouraging all the smears against himself.

  37. EdthePastor says:

    Proverbs 18:6 A fool’s lips bring strife, And his mouth calls for blows.

    I think this is in context of AttackWatch.

  38. Hugh Akston says:

    No Camps. Room 101.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Room_101

  39. DamnCat says:

    @EdthePastor – so you’re saying AttackWatch blows?

  40. ussjimmycarter says:

    Hey, my neighbors dog just pooped on my yard! I’m reporting him big time!
    I don’t like the looks of one of my neighbors. I think he’s up to something! I don’t know what…but that’s not my job! I’m reporting him. Better safe than sorry, I say!
    Hey, the neighbor kid just rode by without a helmet on and she is on her bike! Reported!
    My neighbor just yelled the FNheimer! Reported!
    Oh oh! My cat just scratched the couch. Reported her!
    I just…you know…think porn and my right hand…I reported myself!
    I just sat in the driveway and let my engine run for 5 minutes while I listened to Rush Limbaugh…duly reported!
    I just ate a Big Mac with a Super Size order of Fries…I am reported!
    I just farted which contributes to Global Warming…I reported myself!

  41. algoreeatschads says:

    Reported to AttackWatch.com “The dog across the street took a dump next to a car with an Obama/Biden bumper sticker. I believe this was intended as a criticism of the President’s handling of the economy.”

  42. zzyzx says:

    AttackWatch needs to keep a close eye on this guy. He should be denounced. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0911/63573.html

  43. Critter says:

    i just ate the last slice of pizza. i’m so ashamed.

  44. Mike the Cynic says:

    I logged on to Attackwatch
    To report Sasquatch
    Maxine Waters soon called and exclaimed
    Her name is Michelle
    And then told me to go to hell

  45. CarolynthePregnant says:

    Critter, I’m reporting you for eating pizza. Michelle needs to know and if your BMI isn’t perfect well then we’re just going to have to start a “pizza education initiative.”

    Jimmy, I think I’m blowing off the White House. It was supposed to be Saturday, they moved it to tomorrow, and that’s annoying since my husband works. I have a 17 month-old, and you can’t bring food, drinks, a bag, or a stroller to the White House and of course you can’t park there. Yeah, that’s not happening.

    I signed up to go on a tour hoping to take my foreign exchange students, but they left the country before Sen. Warner scheduled the tour. Jerk. It isn’t like he was busy trying to balance the budget or something.

  46. Karen says:

    I report sanity, reality, and the laws of physic for obstructing the President’s super awesome agenda!

    I report buckets for getting stuck on Obama’s head.

    I report Sarah Palin for… Umm, something. I’m not sure what, but her very name fills me with pathological hatred.

  47. Brian says:

    Here’s what I posted:

    link

  48. Ben says:

    Our house is starting to get cold and we want the government to give us our money so we can buy more insulation for our attack

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