Economic advice

Posted on September 9, 2011 4:00 am

What can we do for you, Mr. President?

Poll numbers are down, unemployment’s up, and it looks like I’m going to have to go back to Chicago after next year.

You need to give a speech!

Speech! Give a speech!

Hey, that’s a great idea! I haven’t given a speech in — gosh — it seems like days.

Oh, and be sure to do it on the same night as the Republican debate. That way, everybody will be watching!

Another great idea. I’ll set that up now.

Hey, John. It’s the president. Of the United States. Yes, that’s right.

John, what I’m calling about is I want to give a speech next Wednesday night.

But I’m the president! Me! Me! I’m president.

Okay, I’ll do it Thursday.

He said I have to do it Thursday.

That’s even better. There’s football that night. Everybody will be watching you!

Football! Football! Touchdown! Football!

Slam dunk! Am I right? Don’t leave me hanging here.

Okay, now you need to plan your speech. How about … spending more money!

Spend! Spend! Spend!

Hey, yeah. That’s a great idea! We’ll spend our way out of debt!

Spend! Spend! Spend!

I’ve already written your speech. Take a look at it.

Hmm. 300-billion dollars. Mmmm. Spending. Mmmm. 400-billion dollars. Mmmm. 447-billion dollars.

Makes perfect sense to me!

Government taxes on businesses and individuals, along with mindless regulations, caused all this. The bank failures. The high unemployment. But this plan will make it all better.

Taxes! Taxes! Taxes!

By putting more taxes and regulations on things, it’s exactly what the economy won’t be expecting. So it’s guaranteed to work!

I really like the way you think.

We appreciate that, Mr. President. It’s hard to get anyone of any importance to listen to us. Most people apply math and logic to our suggestions, then walk away saying we’re nuts. But not you! And we thank you!

It’s been a pleasure working with you. And it’s great to have my own Tea Party to counter that one the Republicans have.

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10 Responses to “Economic advice”

  1. Ivan Ivanovich says:

    Martin Luther King said “…will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. … ”

    Obama, the content of your character sucks!

  2. Terry_Jim says:

    Bill Ayers is a sharper dresser than I remember.Is 10/6 a hat size or number of bombings /murders?

  3. Silverfiddle says:

    Maybe Obama could improve his popularity by wearing a hat like that…

  4. Mxymaster says:

    Good punchline. Personally, I hope after November next year he does a Cheshire Cat and vanishes, but you know we’ll have him around forever like Jimmy Carter. He might even try to pull a Grover Cleveland on us in 2016. AAAAAAH

  5. DamnCat says:

    I knew the Cheshire Cat, the Cheshire Cat was a friend of mine. Obama is no Cheshire Cat.

    No, in or out of office, we’ll have to look at Obama for a long, long time. And he won’t be smiling.

  6. Burmashave says:

    Wow. I didn’t know that Obama needed someone to give him his idiot ideas. This makes him a meta-idiot.

  7. Jimmy says:

    ( ) Obama’s Presidency

    ( ) Alice in Wonderland

    ( ) Basil’s Bizarro World

    Select all that apply.

  8. Jimmy says:

    (√) Obama’s Presidency

    (√) Alice in Wonderland

    (√) Basil’s Bizarro World

    (√) The Twilight Zone

    (√) The Outer Limits

    (√) 1984

    (√) Other ___________

  9. Son of Bob says:

    “…it looks like I’m going to have to go back to Chicago after next year.”

    Barry’s not going back to Chicago. He didn’t care about Chicago any more than he cares about the country. Chicago was a stepping stone, just as he considers the presidency to be a stepping stone to something else…we can only imagine what.

  10. seanmahair says:

    The Mad Hatter was mad because they used to put mercury in hat bands, which as you know can drive you right round the bend. What exactly is Obamas excuse?

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