Who’s gonna lose, week 6

My perfect record continues through this year’s college football season. While on some weeks, a few of the teams don’t do like they’re supposed to — that’s on them, not me — last week, most of the teams did like they were suposed to do.

Now, it’s time for week six. And, unless you enjoy playing golf with Adolf Hitler, you’re ready for this week’s picks. We’ll look at the battles between ranked teams, some other games of interest, plus the major schools from my state, as well as Frank J’s and Harvey’s states as well.

California vs Oregon (9)

The Golden Bears take a trip up to Newgene to battle the Quackers in a Pac-8 10 12 conference game. The Berkeley Bruins look to get back on the winning path after their undefeated season came to a screeching halt last week. The Ducks, though, aren’t the team to try that with.

Oregon could win this game easily, even if star running back LaMichael James was out with an injury. And what are the odds of that? Oregon will score early and often in this one, and California will have to take a long ride back to the Golden State.

Who’s gonna lose? California.

Boise State (4S) vs Fresno State

After opening the season with a win over future-former Georgia coach Mark Richt’s Bulldogs, the Broncos have moved up, then back down the polls, despite win after win. Of course, it has to be that way to keep the team from the 57th State out of the title game. That’s for the SEC and some other major conference team. Until they finally adopt my playoff plan.

This week, it’s another pack of Bulldogs that are on the Boise schedule. Fresno State — who knew that Fresno was a state, too? — get to host the best team from the Junior Conferences. Knocking off the Broncos would be a real feather in their cap. But Fresno State lost to Ole Miss last week. That doesn’t bode well for the Bulldogs.

Broncos quarterback Kellen Moore continues his quest to come in second in the Heisman Trophy voting, and should rack up some impressive numbers in this week’s mismatch.

Who’s gonna lose? Fresno State.

Oklahoma (3) vs Texas (11)

They call this one the Red River Rivalry. Because they play the game in a river or something. Probably the something.

The Sooner Schooner continues its run to a January showdown with the SEC champion, but first, they have to get by a pack of Longhorns holed up in the Big D this weekend.

Texas isn’t what they’re made out to be. Haven’t been for a while, even when they were. This season, Mack Brown’s Horny Herd is unbeaten this season, and talk is that Texas is back. But a look at the schedule shows that the toughest team they’ve played is Brigham Young.

Bob Stoops and his troops should enjoy the day cooking up some steaks, courtesy of the Lone Star State, before they pack up their land ship and head back to the reservation.

Who’s gonna lose? Texas.

Florida (17) vs LSU (1)

The Fortnight From Hell continues for the Giant Water Lizards from Gainesville. After getting run over by a herd of Elephants on their own field last week, the Gators head to the Bayou State to face a bunch a Tigers under the direction of Les Miles.

After playing Alabama and LSU back to back, Will Muschamp’s Gators would be qualified to tell you which team is the best in the country. If they’re able to talk between the bandages, that is.

Another loss wouldn’t put an end to Florida’s hopes for making it to the SEC title game. Thanks to South Carolina’s loss last week, even if the Gators lose this week, as they should, winning the rest of their games puts them in Atlanta in December. The down side is that it would likely be against either Alabama or LSU. And playing either one of them once in a season should be enough.

Who’s gonna lose? Florida.

Auburn (15) vs Arkansas (10)

The final matchup of ranked teams is another SEC battle. Last year’s champs, minus Cam Newton, take on Bobby Petrino’s pack of Wild Hogs in Fayetteville. They team from the East Alabama Cow College would have a better chance had their supporters made bigger donations to Cecil Newton’s church. But, they didn’t, and Cam made the jump to the NFL.

Arkansas played different two halves of football last week, looking like Ole Miss in the first half, and looking like, well, Arkansas in the second. If they pull a stunt like that this week, Auburn still has enough talent to win a close one. Just ask Steve Spurrier.

Who’s gonna lose? Auburn.

Maryland vs Georgia Tech (13)

The North Avenue Trade School has managed to get noticed, and are on the verge of cracking the Top Ten. The thing is, they might not really deserve to be there.

Paul Johnson’s high-powered offense leads the nation in rushing and in scoring, and should add to those gaudy numbers with this week’s game with a Herd of Turtles from College Park, Maryland.

Randy Edsall’s Terrapins will need the Humble Bumbles to shoot themselves in the foot more than once to keep this game close. The Yellow Jackets should move up one or two slots in the poll this week, thanks to the scheduling gods showing them favor.

Who’s gonna lose? Maryland.

Georgia vs Tennessee

Barbara Dooley’s Baby Boy looks for his first marquee win, and a victory against Dad’s old team would fit the bill.

The Red Clay Hounds have bounced back since opening the season with two losses, and hope to keep Mark Richt on the payroll another week with a win over the Musket Toters in Knoxville.

The Volunteers have played three cupcakes and a Gator so far, and are 3-1 to prove it. This is their last chance to get win number 4 until November, thanks to the scheduling gods showing them extreme disfavor.

Mama Dooley may be pulling for Tennessee, but Papa Dooley thinks Georgia will win this one. Who’s right?

Who’s gonna lose? Georgia.

Wisconsin (4) vs BYE

Harvey’s team is off this week, a well-earned rest after treating a bunch of Cornhuskers to a rude welcoming to the B-1-G.

I really should ignore this game, because, well, there is no game. But, I promised myself, and, more importantly, you, that I’d pick this week’s Wisconsin game. So, here you go.

Who’s gonna lose? BYE.

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  1. Springtime with HItler in Germany can be very pleasant on the Berchtesgaden golf course. The last two holes were generously donated by Austria.


  2. In our battle against this government, Basil, we’re all currently losing.

    Oh. This is a football post.


  3. Giving into the PC sissies, eh Basil?

    Just some historical context to the Red River SHOOTOUT (only girlies afraid of guns would call it a rivalry). Way back in 1931, the Texas Rangers fought a smallish war against the sub-human creatures known as Okies over which state (state being used loosely in the case of Oklahoma) had control of the actual water part of the Red River. Shots were fired.

    My personal rule is that I only root for the UT Fightin’ Moo Cows when they are playing against foreigners (including the Fightin’ Illegal Immigrants over at UT- Norman, Oklahoma). They are currently playing disappointingly.


    • PC? Me? Not a chance. It’s just that it doesn’t involve SEC schools, so it’s not that big of a deal. You understand, right?


  4. Wall St. Brokers (48) vs. Moronic Libtards (74)

    This isn’t the first clash between these two teams but it’s one of the most important this season. However, it’s way too early to call a winner in this regional contest that will surly have national consequences. The Brokers have certainly been stimulated by favorable calls from the officials in previous games last season as well as this season. In fact some argue that if it weren’t for favorable stimulation by the officials the Broker’s would have had a losing season that would been pretty depressing for their fans. Broker’s coach Meryl Lynch says he has full confidence in his Wall St. team to profit…and the officials, to continue to do the right thing.

    Meanwhile Coach Soros says that even though the Libtards are mostly young and extremely inexperienced he is looking for great things from them in their effort to destroy the Brokers. Coach Soros pointed out that while his team lacks experience (many of his young players still live in their parents basements) several are collage grads and his team is well organized. He also pointed out that while the Libtard running game is almost nonexistent they continue to lead the nation in sanctimonious self-righteous indignation and whining…and always will. This game may just come down to how well it is officiated and if the Libtards can handle the light and space of the Wall St. home field.

    If you watch this game be sure and check out the world famous Moronic Libtard marching band which wears no uniforms and plays mostly drums and tambourines while chanting their familiar fight song… “We want free stuff and we want it now.”

    Who’s gonna lose? America.


  5. Actually the Brokers have a better than even chance with their new secret weapon. Rumor has it that they bought 500 X-Boxes and left them in the open along the predicted path of the Libtards. The Libtards have never been known for patience or focus in the past.


  6. Blitzing Gerald Hodges vs. Iowa’s blocker.

    Who’s gonna lose? Evidently, Iowa’s blocker and ussjimmycarter.


  7. @Basil

    Fair enough. It’s just that, for all the talk about the importance of tradition in college football, they up and change the name of the most important college ball game in Texas (at least until A&M is competitive enough in SEC to develop a rivalry with another team that the ESPN would care about). It’s quite offensive. Especially when the fightin’ illegal immigrants win.


    • In fairness, Oklahoma is a decent football team. In fact, they scored 23 points on Florida State this season. That’s only 12 points less than Wake Forest scored on the Semi-holes!

      But I certainly understand your point. If the game should properly be called the Red River Shootout, then I will make sure I get it right going forward.


  8. SEC? The Securities and Exchange Commission has a football team? I suppose next they’ll be claiming to be better than the Big 10.



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