Nuke the News:

Posted on January 11, 2012 11:00 am

* Going to have to skimp on the post today as it’s been kind of a crazy week. Anyway, you know what’s going on: Romney won New Hampshire, it’s inevitable he’s the nominee so let’s prepare for Romney vs. Obama, blah blah blah.

* Well, one other thing. Feel like I should link to one of the few times Ron Paul makes sense while the other candidates are talking nonsense. The way the other “conservative” candidate have been going after Romney’s business experience is disgusting.

* Also, I have to mention this.

Citing ongoing threats from nuclear proliferation, climate change, and the need to find sustainable and safe sources of energy, scientists moved the “Doomsday Clock” one minute closer to midnight on Tuesday.

You understand this is like saying “Citing how cute and lovable they are, scientists played with My Little Ponies and brushed each others hair.” It may involve “scientists” (though I haven’t seen their credentials), but it has nothing to do with science. Science is not arbitrarily moving hands on a giant toy clock based on predictions the scientific method can’t even begin to make. We really need more distinction between “science” and “things people called scientists are doing and saying” as the latter often isn’t science but simply “idiocy”.

* Well, that’s it. Be honorable, ronin.

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29 Responses to “Nuke the News:”

  1. Alex C. says:

    If Gingrich and Santorum decide to team up and one of them drops out and supports the other, they’re united votes would be far greater than Romney’s in all the upcoming votes…

    Also, RONPAUL!!1!!!1!!!

  2. DamnCat says:

    @Alex C. – If all their supporters went to the other of the two. Personally, I might vote for Santorum. But if he were to drop out I’d go for Mitt over Newt no matter what Santorum told me to do. I don’t trust Newt and his class warfare attack on Romney just confirms my suspicion that he’s a snake.

  3. blarg says:

    Ok can we just vote for Romney now and get back to important things? I’m kind of burned out on this completely pointless exercise of looking for someone who would make a better president than a tuna sandwich like its really hard. All were doing is making ourselved look really silly by seriously comparing our candidates to a tuna sandwich. This election should be a no-brainer – just vote for the guy that’s not a Marxist and get on witb life.

  4. DamnCat says:

    @blarg – I couldn’t agree more. It is ridiculous to think that any of these candidates compare favorably to a tuna sandwich.

  5. Jimmy says:

    Great summary of the idiocy of the Doomsday Clock, Frank. Unfortunately, one doesn’t have to be a Rocket Scientist to know there is a Fiscal Doomsday Clock – and it’s ticking loudly.

  6. hwuu says:

    Actually Jimmy we have hit the snooze bar on the fiscal doomsday clock a couple of times already.

  7. Jimmy says:

    And that means no one is in the kitchen fryin’ up the bacon, hwuu or makin’ the … COFFEE!!

  8. CrustyB says:

    Didn’t the Doomsday Clock tell us the in the 80s that Reagan was going to blow up the Earth because he was stupid/crazy/evil like a taller Sarah Palin?

  9. Larsinkima says:

    Give me that clock. I think I would set it at 12:05 and see if it caused any reaction. If not then I would nuke it.

  10. Larsinkima says:

    On the MOON.

  11. storm1911 says:

    The doomsday clock is a leftist farce. The Russkies would add 10,000 warheads and they would move the hands back because communisim is peaceful and good. Reagan would sneeze and they move the hands to a second before midnight.

    Even Ron Paul got the Romney / Bain Capital story right. Doesn’t say for the others, does it? Sadly.

  12. Jimmy says:

    Larsinkima, if you set it to 12:05, that would be relativistic time travel and cause nothing but DOOM (plus simultaneous and irreversible global warming with nuclear winter).

  13. Larsinkima says:

    But that’s relative, right? Damn relatives. GO home.

  14. plentyobailouts says:

    Like all things !scientist, the doomsday clock had a humble beginning and a purpose. Like all things !science, the marxists have taken over. I read the article and they mentioned nobel laureates, gorebull warming, and nuclear proliferation in one breath. How many marxist talking points can you mention in one breath?

    A FEDERAL judge said today, that states can consider sharia law when deciding cases. Which tells me that this judge wants to beat his woman and keep his guns and defile 72 virgins.

    I have noticed they portray Ron Paul as crazy because he is anti-establishment. I am beginning to think crazy is better than stupid or romney. At least with crazy, we entertained instead of frightened.

    So sdoes obsama wait till after the Republicans announce their anointment of romney to dump jojo for shrillary or does he do it super Tuesday?

    Sasquatch says she is tired of being treated like the stereo-typical angry black woman. Maybe if she didn’t act like the stereo-typical c-word?

  15. blarg says:

    I’m surprised that “nuke the news” has nothing about the coolest thing I’ve ever seen on the news.

    Apparently two people on motorcycles rode up to the car of a guy who JUST HAPPENS TO BE A NUCLEAR SCIENTIST in Iran attach magnetic bombs to his car and BOOM!


    That’s like…..awesome! That’s like James Bond Awesome. That’s like Sean Connery James Bond awesome.

    …only thing is, that it was probably Mosad that did it. So…maybe James Schwartz, double oy 7.

  16. CarolynthePregnant says:

    In other news, Cat has decided to make peace with Marko and stop using his garden as a litterbox. He will now purr contentedly while Marko scratches behind his ears. In light of this, I am moving the Doomsday clock to …….. KABOOM!

  17. storm1911 says:

    blarg is right, that is the best story of the day. Obama will be holding the memorial service for mthe martyrs in 3, 2, 1 …

    That is WAY too awesome to be something Obama would do. Wait, what has Fred Thompson been up to ?

  18. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    “I want to categorically deny any United States involvement in any kind of act of violence inside Iran,” Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton told reporters.

    Yes Hillary, we know, if the CIA did it, Obama would have already taken credit.

  19. Burmashave says:

    Whadya mean that the Doomesday Clock people aren’t scientists? They most definitely are. They use test tubes, beakers and those burner things. I saw it myself. They even have one of those electro-sparky things that makes lightning.

  20. Burt says:

    Ok, I, too, have resigned myself to a Romney candidacy. However, I am not convinced that the Democrats have decided to give up and not present a decent candidate to run in opposition.

  21. Jimmy says:

    CarolynthePregnant, you gotta learn how to handle that clock thingy. The shockwave from your KABOOM! just now reached my house where it found DamnCat in MY garden! Fortunately, at this point, there’s nothing but dirt in it. WAIT! He’s scratching the dirt. O.M.G! He’s gonna poo…. KABOOM!

    Lucky I had my 12 gauge handy.

  22. zzyzx says:

    The Doomsday clock, it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’………..John Cameron Swayze, strapping the Doomsday clock to an outboard motor prop.

  23. Jimmy says:

    I think Harvey – or Basil – or yes, even Frank – ought to start a new column here titled “The Doomsday Clock.” Then, see, you could even have guest postings from Doomsday Naysayers like Veeshir, seanmahair and ussjimmycarter (when he gets his head out from being stuck between Hillary’s thighs. Oh, the humanity!) and yes, even anyone who can correctly spell the words “Debt,” “FED” and “Congress.”

    Also, just remember, all clocks are relative. CarolynthePregnants is a Labor Day Clock.

  24. Larsinkima says:

    Hey, is that doomsday clock thingy like a nookular atomic clock? If so it is kinda hypocritical. What if it blows up.

  25. Nephew Sam says:

    I used to always write Ron Paul off as ‘crazy’, too, until I actually researched his voting record. Then I realized his commitment to limiting the federal government is unmatched by any other candidate, and I can’t really get excited about any other candidate anymore.

    No thanks, Romneycare, Perryvaccines, global warming Newt, and ‘individualism doesn’t work’ Santorum… I think I’ll pass.

  26. CarolynthePregnant says:

    See Jimmy, you’re good people. Of course I knew that already; you’re a fellow ginger. We must be strong against these anti-Irish (jealous) types.

  27. Jimmy says:

    See CarolynthePregnant, you yourself are a huge Gingerian, you are, and there is even bigger soon, you’ll be. Me, I’m basically Irish (with some other stuff like Scotch, English and Welsh thrown in – or in the case of Scotch, swilled down) and I realize we potato-loving Irishmanians need to stick together and promote… sticktogetherness. And potatoes! Ginger is okay, to0, but I don’t grow it.

    There is okay to announce my baby pool prize here. I can take it home from here, I can. Good luck and happy baby.

  28. 4of7 says:

    I’m sad because I can’t afford to buy one of Rick Santorum’s nifty sweater-vests this week.
    So I ripped the sleeves off one of my old plaid shirts aka Larry the Cable Guy, but it’s just not the same man, it’s just not the same.
    (grumble, grumble, mutter d*mn 1 percenters hogging all the sweater vests, snarl, grumble.)

  29. Isaac says:

    This doomsday clock is more of a cuckoo clock than an alarm clock. The scienticians know how to set it, based on all the other doomsdays that we’ve had. They all have PhDs in doomsdology.

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