Nuke the News: Newt Deflating
* Intrade has Romney back up to about a 75% chance of winning the Florida primary and 80% chance of winning the nomination. It looks like the brief flirtation with Newt has ended as quickly and as quietly as the last time. And it’s not like Newt has done anything specific to lose support (and neither did he last time either), it’s just people sort of sober up and say, “I don’t know if this is a great idea.”
Still, it was nice to imagine for a bit that Romney wasn’t going to be our nominee. We can still hold out hopes for a brokered convention. What’s life without more hopes to see dashed?
* Timothy Geithner says a second term for him is unlikely. He wants to spend more time with his family learning to use Turbo Tax.
Maybe we should give him a going away party. Oh wait, we have no money for that. Instead, we should put him on an ice floe and push him out to sea.
* Only one of the presidential candidates is vowing to conquer space: Newt Gingrich. He has plans for a permanent moon base in eight years, and then we head to Mars. As the years go by, though, it’s become obvious that getting a man on the moon was a one time fluke of competency by the federal government, and we can hardly count on them to repeat that feat — at least not without Soviets breathing down our necks.
Still, we need to get to space. Eventually, abandoning Earth and starting a libertarian colony on Mars will be the last option left to save ourselves.
* Jay Leno is getting sued by Sikhs for showing a picture of one of their holy buildings, the Golden Temple, and claiming it is Mitt Romney’s summer home. Come on. I’m all for pretending to respect other religions, but if you make a giant golden temple, people are going to joke about it being a rich man’s summer home. That’s just reality. Deal with it.
* So Warren Buffet has a secretary who is either paid like a rich executive or just really horrible at doing her taxes. And because of her we’re supposed to take money from people who have demonstrated they know how to be smart with money and give it to people in Washington D.C. who have repeatedly demonstrated they’re complete idiots with money.
I’m getting tired of this stupidity. We just need to start deporting people. I don’t care where. There are just too many idiots and we need them out of the way if we want to get this country on track.
* Wisdom of the Day from Drew Cline:
I don’t mind that Obama uses a TelePrompter. I do mind that he won’t acknowledge it took the job of a union-wage cue card holder.
* How thick is your bubble?
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(7 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
January 26th, 2012 at 11:07 am
Frank: “We just need to start deporting people. I don’t care where.”
That’s why we need the space program up and running. That’s also why Obama shut it down. He knows he’d be the first one sent to our new Pluto colony.
January 26th, 2012 at 11:07 am
Jeez, my result was mediocre. Though I do recognize Jimmie Johnson, I only drink grandma’s homemade dandelion wine, not domestic beer.
January 26th, 2012 at 11:18 am
Frank got 11 out of 20 on the culture bubble test? That’s only marginally cultured!
I tried taking it yesterday (from *ahem* – a competitor’s site) and it refused to give me an answer so I gave up and went back to my cave.
January 26th, 2012 at 11:20 am
I’m contemplating supporting Ron Paul as a protest Vote, maybe if we all unit and vote for him, someone we know the higher ups won’t dare allow, they will have a brokered convention.
Idk what i’m saying anymore… *sighs*
January 26th, 2012 at 11:42 am
I only scored a 7 on that quiz because I hate NASCAR, don’t drink, think smoking is gross, and I sure as hell don’t have any liberal friends.
January 26th, 2012 at 11:44 am
How Thick Is Your Bubble?GuestScore » 12 out of 20 (60% ) Result
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 13 and 16.
In other words, you don’t even have a bubble.
January 26th, 2012 at 11:54 am
P.S 15 score for me, I feel lonely without a bubble
I think my liberal friend put me over the edge.
January 26th, 2012 at 12:05 pm
My bubble? I don’t know – but I’m sure it’s not as thick as the humans who bother to take those quizzes.
January 26th, 2012 at 12:19 pm
I scored “at least 17.” This means that I am so engrossed in American culture, I should take a trip to the bubble once in a while. LOL
January 26th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
“We can still hold out hopes for a brokered convention.”
Yes, we can, Frank – with a terrific group of Romney, Gingrich, Paul and Santorum delegates deciding our candidate.
Holy crap.
January 26th, 2012 at 1:09 pm
So turbo tax timmy is saying he is jumping ship because the one will not need him anymore. After all if osama wins a second term, there will be no money in the treasury.
If rumney and ostrich strangle each other, do you suppose we may get a real candidate? Or will santorum be given the nomination by default?
January 26th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
“It looks like the brief flirtation with Newt has ended as quickly and as quietly as the last time. And it’s not like Newt has done anything specific to lose support…”
My Probability of Newt Theory (PONT) is wrong. Buy you know what? I’m going to be a liberal. My theory is right; it’s just reality that’s wrong.
January 26th, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Cats don’t have ‘bubbles.’ They have ‘don’t touch me zones.’
January 26th, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Burma, you need to revise your equations.
Try this one:
F(x) = §se^x dx = se^x + c
where c is what happens afterwards.
Math works for sooo many things.
January 26th, 2012 at 1:58 pm
@Jimmy – maybe you should stop trying to touch us in those us in those “zones”.
STRANGERJIMMY DANGER!!!!1!January 26th, 2012 at 2:24 pm
@Jimmy: Ahhhh, I had a feeling that a linear function might not fit. If anything, Newt is non-linear.
Wouldn’t Finite Element Analysis (FEA) work more better? That is, there is no function that can either exactly or stably represent Newt Probability (NP). NP can only be approximated.
January 26th, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Floe, man, floe. (no bubble)
January 26th, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Well, Burma, I’m not sure. You’d have to drape a very fine mesh over his Newtonian structure and precisely know not only the boundary conditions but pick arbitrary starting conditions, as well. With Newt, I think this could get ugly, fast. Quantum Field Theory might work – but you might end up dealing with that damn cat in the box thing (you know, Schrödinger). He gets pissed-off whether you open his door or not. And you can’t touch because if you do, he’s simultaneously untouched by it.
January 26th, 2012 at 3:14 pm
“I for one, welcome our new robot overlords.”
January 26th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
@Jimmy: Schrödinger. We should ask DamnCat why a cat would crawl into a box with cyanide and decaying radioactive material. Maybe Schrödinger’s cat was hiding from a trip to the vet.
January 26th, 2012 at 3:37 pm
You ask him, Burma. He’s afraid I’m going to touch him.
January 26th, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Hummmm….According to the test I don’t even have a bubble. I blame this on the fact that (among other things) I don’t know who that race car driver is, never watched any of those stupid Transformer movies, and even my wife (whom I love dearly) has never been able to force me to watch a full episode of Opra.
January 26th, 2012 at 4:08 pm
I got a 6. That’s the lowest I’ve scored on a test since I failed to master Calculus. And I wouldn’t have made it so high but for my waitressing jobs to pay for college, and my former ownership of a little tiny Toyota pickup, which hardly counts as a pickup at all (from back in the day when Toyotas were still made out of tin foil – we’re not talking Tundra, here). I blame my father’s insistence on education (depite his own white trash, North Dakota farming roots, he made it to managing engineer – no points for that! – and insisted on college for each of his seven kids). Crappy score notwithstanding, my bubble is pretty thin – I have always identified with the staff more than with the professionals at every legal position I have held (yeah, I’m a lawyer. I was young and I needed the money. Stop judging me!).
January 26th, 2012 at 5:30 pm
@Burmashave – box also contained tuna. Hence the well known saying “Never trust a geek bearing fish.”
January 26th, 2012 at 6:23 pm
Demagogy or demagoguery a strategy for gaining political power by appealing to the prejudices, emotions, fears, vanities and expectations of the public—typically via impassioned rhetoric and propaganda, and often using nationalist, populist or religious themes.
Sounds like Newt to me.
I’ve met Charles Murray and I have his autograph to prove it. Oh and I got 14.
January 26th, 2012 at 6:35 pm
I can’t see how you’re so blase about ticking off Sikhs.
The only reason we can be so detached from the War on (Some) Terror (Jews need not apply) is because jihadis are pretty much stupid and incompetent. They don’t aim their weapons, they think Allah will do the aiming, that’s why they resort to human bombs. Those people can generally figure out where they’re going. Not always, “work accidents” are funny, but most of the time.
Sikhs are not nearly so useless.
If they ever decide they need to go to war with us, well, do you like Tandoori Chicken? I hope so.
They don’t carry those knives for paring apples you know.
Gurkhas think Sikhs are badaces.
January 26th, 2012 at 6:40 pm
“Gurkhas think Sikhs are badaces.”
If literally true, that’s all you needed to say.
January 26th, 2012 at 8:27 pm
Just imagine if we made a hybrid of Chesty Puller and a Gurkha.
January 26th, 2012 at 10:12 pm
On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8.
In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more.
Dang! I may have to support Santorum with this score.
RICKY!!!11111!!!
January 26th, 2012 at 10:34 pm
13 out of 20, no bubble.
It’s the bubble inside that counts. (burp) – Mmm… PBR!
Rick’s video staff work fast!
http://www.youtube.com/ricksantorum#p/u/0/3cSoAEbP4Eo
January 27th, 2012 at 1:20 am
15 out of 20. I’m not even sure what a “bubble” is…
January 27th, 2012 at 2:58 am
I went back and re-took the test. I answered no to every question. Now it turns out I’m a rich no caring sob…too bad I don’t have the money to go along with my new status.
January 27th, 2012 at 5:51 am
Build it and they will come! All of congress takes a junket to the moon…then we NUKE THE MOON!!! Priceless!
January 27th, 2012 at 5:57 am
Hey!!! I have NO Bubble! What’s up with THAT?
January 27th, 2012 at 8:32 am
Hmmmm…. 15 out of 20? Call me Bubbleboy
January 27th, 2012 at 1:40 pm
I got a six: “On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8. In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more.” Why the hell should I ‘get out more’? Really? 9 out of 10 interactions with other humans only ends in frustration. And get off my $%^&* lawn!