Archive for January, 2012

Microsoft apps

Friday, January 20, 2012 7:23 am

Microsoft is developing a new app for their phones. And a lot of people are getting their panties in a wad over it.

The app is still under development, but word of it has leaked out, as has the working title of the app: Avoid The Ghetto.

According to the patent filing, the app is to help a pedestrian avoid “traveling through an unsafe neighborhood or being in an open area that is subject to harsh temperatures.” It uses weather data, crime stats, and such to make the determination.

Well, the NAACP is all up in arms over that. Or is going to be:

“I’m going to be up in arms about it if it happens,” said Dallas NAACP President Juanita Wallace.

Wallace spent her afternoon at a rally on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. and said she felt safe there, but fears the app may project otherwise.

“Can you imagine me not being able to go to MLK Blvd. because my GPS says that’s a dangerous crime area? I can’t even imagine that,” she said.

The thing she’s missing is that it won’t say that MLK Boulevard is a high crime area unless, well, stats show it’s a high crime area.

You think maybe the problem isn’t that people are pointing out that crime occurs, but that crime occurs? Nah, that’d make too much sense to actually address the real problem, when fake outrage over fake problems is much more fun.

But, you know, maybe Microsoft is on to something. I wonder what other apps they could develop.

  • Avoid The Idiots. Using voter registration roles, it could find where Democrats live, and then you could avoid having to deal with idiots.
  • Avoid The Tide. Using college records, it could find where Alabama fans live and help you not get someone’s wang thrust in your face.
  • Avoid The Crazy Women. Using information from Facebook, dating sites, and news stories, it will help you avoid hooking up with the future Ex-Mrs. Ex-Speaker Of The House. (Boy, could I have used this one, once upon a time!)

There are probably several apps that could be developed that would be of benefit.

Maybe I need to rethink my position on Microsoft being all evil and such.

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Nuke the News: We Didn’t Save a Pretzel for the Gas Jets

Thursday, January 19, 2012 11:00 am

* So it’s looks like Rick Perry is dropping out. He seemed like such a good candidate with his conservative credentials and Texas jobs record, but then in the debates he appeared inebriated, confused, and like he wasn’t completely familiar with the English language. It was just a scary prospect to make him our nominee. Also, him calling most Republicans “heartless” for not wanting to pay for college tuition of illegal aliens indicated that maybe he didn’t have a firm a grasp of conservative principles as we thought.

It seems strange he’d drop out only two days before the South Carolina primary… unless he really wants to see Mitt Romney defeated. Intrade had Gingrich with an 8% chance of winning that primary, but now he’s jumped to 30%. So maybe there is a chance to finally bring down the establishment candidate Romney who is being shoved down our throats and instead elect the insurgent… former Speaker of the House.

What are we trying to do again?

* Iowa said that Santorum actually won their primary caucus by 34 votes… but they can’t certify it cause pigs done ate the votes or something. Why do we let Iowa be the first primary state to vote? If they can’t even get a simple vote together, I’m starting to wonder why we even let them be a state.

* Obama has decided not to approve the Keystone pipeline. It would have provided oil and jobs, but it’s not like we really need any of that right now. What it also would have done is make environmentalists unhappy, and can you really put a price tag on the happiness of environmentalists? If you did, it would apparently be billions of dollars.

* Obama is claiming in new ads that evil billionaires are after him. Oh no, poor millionaire being bullied by billionaires!

Hey, if you ever want a good example of a millionaire who has done nothing useful to society to earn it, you got a great example sitting right there in the White House. What useful thing has Obama ever done that would lead to him being rich? Community organizer? His success does seem like an indictment of capitalism.

* According to a recent poll, 52% of people think Obama has accomplished “not much” or “little or nothing.” So next time someone charges that Obama has ruined the economy, he can point to this poll and say, “No, most people say I’ve hardly done anything at all.”

* Wisdom of the Day from Brian Lehman:

Movies are best enjoyed knowing nothing about guns, computers, science, or human nature.

* I finally figured out what’s bothered me so much about all the anti-SOPA stuff. It’s that a lot of people outraged by it are the same people who are for ignorant politicians regulating everything else in our lives. It’s like they don’t care if we’re free in the real world, but they just want to pretend to be free online. Why can’t they muster this outrage when know-nothing idiots tell us what light bulbs we can buy or people who’ve never even held a gun try to dictate how they should be made?

And really, the government has more of a claim to regulate the internet than other things since it created the internet — or at least Senators Al Gore and Ted Stevens did when they duct taped together a bunch of tubes.

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Random Thoughts

Thursday, January 19, 2012 9:31 am

Because of Sesame Streets’s The Count, our generation grew up not fearing vampires and thus the Twilight series happened.

What Mark Wahlberg said wan’t that ridiculous. He usually beats someone up every flight he’s on.

I don’t get the left freaking out over SOPA but not over other regulation. It’s like they only want to pretend to be free online.

Let’s just send Mark Wahlberg to Congress, shut the doors for a few hours, and then everything should be solved.

I’d much rather have annoying gun regulation to follow in Call of Duty than in real life.

“Sorry, you’re going to have to leave your gun. Your concealed carry permit isn’t valid for level 3.”

Romney: “I tried to release my tax returns, but Turbo Tax is too confusing. Timothy Geithner can back me up on this.”

Young Gingrich picture on Drudge looks like Dwight Schrute.

If I were Romney, I don’t know how I’d be able to stop myself from eventually yelling, “SHUT UP, YOU STUPID POOR PEOPLE!!!”

I only once accidentally tried to look something up on Wikipedia yesterday. It was a videogame.

Weird. On Chuck, Col. Casey (Adam Baldwin) said, “I have one mag left.” But close caption was, “I have one clip left.” Made us laugh. Maybe the actor had it right but the script had it wrong.

We watch all shows with close caption because we have a Buttercup. Wish Netflix had more shows with subtitle options.

Buttercup can count to two as long as you supply her the “one”.
“One.”
“TWO!!!”

Knowing stuff about guns can ruin movies. Sure, it looks cool to cock a 1911, but that should never happen in normal usage.

Ever try gently lowering the hammer on a 1911? Takes two hands because of the grip safety. Would never do it with a round in the chamber. But that’s what you would have to have done previously if you’re now cocking a 1911 to threaten someone.

Also remember a book where someone disengaged the safety on a 1911 and then chambered a round. A ridiculous sequence of events. I hope someone was fired for that one.

If Iowa can’t run a simple primary, maybe we should revoke their statehood.

“We don’t know who won ’cause pigs done ate the votes.”

Perry looked so good on paper but looked like such a bad idea in the debates.

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Nuke the News: Wikipedia Is Down, So Just Try and Disprove Any of This

Wednesday, January 18, 2012 11:00 am

* So Wikipedia has gone dark today. It’s because they’re protesting SOPA which is… I dunno, some sort of internet bill that people think is too obtrusive because it… well, I haven’t heard a succinct explanation yet. I assume it’s pretty stupid because politicians came up with it, but I don’t know the details. I guess I could look it up… oh wait, Wikipedia isn’t working today. Now where am I supposed to look up obscure things about TV shows from my youth?

Jonah Goldberg has a great idea: Spend the day making stuff up. No one will be able to disprove you.

* Newt built a little momentum from slapping down Obama as the “food stamp president”, but it still isn’t going to happen. Intrade has Romney at 91.2% chance of being the nominee, and at this point it doesn’t matter what cool line someone can come up with; the only way Romney could be stopped is to have some sort of epic stumble heretofore unknown. Like video of him running over a poor person in a limousine while laughing… but Romney has been very careful never to let that be videotaped.

Plus, I just don’t trust Newt. One day he’s an awesome conservative, the next day he’s worried Paul Ryan’s necessary budget plan is too harsh and mean. And then he’s throwing red meat to the right just before attacking capitalism in the form of the investment firm Romney worked for. I like one Newt, but I’m scared of the other. Can’t elect Newt unless we know which one we’ll get.

* How do you know you’re super radical fringe? Even Nancy Pelosi is trying to distance herself from you. Yes, suddenly Democrats are realizing that maybe a bunch of violent, incoherent hippies is not the path to reelection. Still, they keep Nancy Pelosi around, which means they haven’t quite figured out how to become appealing to the general public.

* Wisdom of the Day from M:

If you take the word “spatula” out of the dictionary it’s just a list of things that aren’t spatulas.

* Man, I’m just out of stuff to say today. Stupid news; be more interesting.

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Random Thoughts

Wednesday, January 18, 2012 9:21 am

Don’t urinate on a copy of the latest issue of Newsweek as it’s wrong to pee on corpses.

No Wikipedia today? I better look up those Firefly episode synopses now.

Turkey says if Perry doesn’t apologize for calling them Islamic terrorists they’ll suicide bomb him.

Hippies are protesting SOAP today.

So why are sites going dark today? To raise awareness? I hate awareness.

I remember when I was a kid and wasn’t aware of anything. That was awesome. Also got to spend all day playing Atari.

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lolterizt! Part 149

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 9:32 pm

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


This section is all me (Harvey):


[reference link]


[reference link]


[reference link]


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Arik:

From Arik:

[reference link]

From Arik:

From Arik:

[reference link]

From BillyRayBob:

From James:

[reference link]

From Mike:

[reference link]

From me (Harvey):

[reference link]


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


Arik for “soy un perdedor”. I’ve heard that song a million times, but never knew what they were singing in that part.

I wish I could give it to me for “The Aristocrats”, but I doubt you guys are that innocent.

What say you?


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Brian of Snapped Shot‘s magnificent EvilFeed – the world’s best source for ripe-for-captioning terrorist photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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Nuke the News: Obama to Shrink Government, Number of People Who Believe Him

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 11:00 am

* There was the 840th Republican debate last night. I only caught a bit of it, but apparently it was one of Romney’s worst debates. Of course, it doesn’t really matter as we’re only a few more primaries away from where we stop pretending someone else might be the nominee. The main thing now is to watch Romney talk policy and see if we can now get energized by him to stand with him against Obama.

Not quite feeling it yet. Maybe I need to take another blue pill.

* Huntsman wasn’t a part of the debate as he finally realized the inevitable that he wasn’t going to turn a third place finish in New Hampshire into the presidency. If you’re going to run for the Republican nomination, you have to at least act like you’re not ashamed of Republicans.

Maybe he should have made it more known that he can speak Chinese. That totally should have clinched it for him.

* Obama says he plans to shrink government. Yeah, we totally believe him on that. And it was a great pitch: “I’m going to shrink government smaller than you’ve ever seen in your lifetime. By the way, give me 1.2 trillion more dollars.”

I know Obama is desperate about his reelection chances, but he has to try to make some claims that are at least somewhat plausible. Like instead, he should have said, “I plan to increase government at a slower rate than I did before.” I still wouldn’t believe that — he probably will increase it slower because of more Republicans in Congress, not because it was his “plan” — but it’s more plausible.

* So, have you seen the new Newsweek cover? My first reaction was “I don’t remember writing a satire piece for Newsweek.” Oh, Newsweek claims it’s supposed to be serious. If so, then why did they hire Andrew Sullivan to write it?

Really, that’s the sort of trolling that would be shameful if done on my blog, but for a magazine trying to pretend it’s still respectful? Just remember not to urinate on a copy of Newsweek as it’s wrong to pee on corpses.

* A Canadian doctor is suggesting that patients not be told the sex of their unborn baby so as to stop gender-based abortions. I guess that’s… one way to go about stopping that.

Who would have guessed killing babies could lead to other ethical dilemmas?

* Wisdom of the Day from Derek Hunter:

Same media that wouldn’t show cartoons of Muhammad for fear of enraging the Muslim world runs the urine pictures/video non-stop.

* Much like with evolution, there is a new controversy about teaching about global warming in the classroom. We’re always going to have controversy over what’s taught in school because having the government pick what your kids should learn is just begging for trouble. That’s why public schools are always going to be a round peg shoved into the square hole of our concept of liberty.

Here’s my idea: Just don’t teach science in public school. Most of what I was taught as scientific fact as a kid is outdated now, so what’s the point? I know we have like a dozen years of education to fill and science seems like a good filler, but why don’t instead we just teach kids the scientific method and if they want to know what the current consensus is they can look it up on Wikipedia. The internet is also science.

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Random Thoughts

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 9:23 am

In Ron Paul’s new fundraiser, he’s going to dance while people throw nickels at him.

I heard in a speech the other day, Obama announced he’s going to do something. That’s always been a bad idea. He’s just not good at that.

Obama should practice standing still, smiling, and waving at people. I think he could get really good at that.

I don’t like to criticize people in the military, but if you’re going to pee on dead Taliban, maybe you shouldn’t videotape it.

Of course, there are lots of thing I don’t understand why people would videotape. Like Meghan McCain talking politics.

To keep the left from complaining, the next time we occupy a country the military should just claim it’s to protest their banks.

Pretty much every modern crime procedural is just a ripoff of Scooby Doo.

Before using a urinal, I always check it for dead Taliban so I don’t get in trouble.

I’m not in the military, but it is in my company’s employee handbook not to pee on corpses.

Is it always wrong to pee on corpses? Like let’s say you just killed Hitler and you also had drank a whole pot of coffee. So, you really have to go, but you don’t see a bathroom around. But, right there in front of you, there’s dead Hitler.

Remember how the media kept explaining a shoe thrown at Bush’s head was a big insult in the Middle East. Wonder if the Middle East media is doing same thing about peeing on corpses. “In the West, peeing on a corpse is a huge insult, somewhat similar to our hitting people with a shoe.”

That’s right; our Marines should stick to the culturally sensitive hitting corpse in the face with shoes.

Have we nominated Romney yet?

Maybe we need one more debate where they can weigh in on peeing on Taliban. Also, I’d like here more about their views on contraception.

And the doctor said, “No more monkeys jumping on the bed! In fact, put them in cages; they’re monkeys.”

Panda bears don’t often mate successfully in captivity because the best pickup lines are learned in the wild.

Marsupials kind of seem like a hack fix to the whole live birth problem.

I remember reading Newsweek as a kid, but now I’m a responsible adult and they’re the ones trolling on the internet.

Of course, even as a teenager, I found their stories patronizing.

So is Newsweek sticking to left-wing trolling, or will they have a cover of “Why the Star Wars prequels are better than the original.”?

“So we’re just going to try trolling for attention now. So who do we want as a writer?”
“Andrew Sullivan.”
“Genius.”

Tried to show Buttercup how to jump. She just does squats while yelling “Jump! Jump!” over and over.

Don’t remember that from any child development list: When are they supposed to be able to jump?

I don’t get why we care about Golden Globes. What kind of cash prize do they come with?

If Martin Luther King were alive today, I’d hope he work somewhere that gave him MLK Day off.

Sure judging people by the color of their skin versus the content of their character is bad, but there is a huge time savings.

Man, tough pill to swallow to realize that Romney as our president is the best case scenario.

To be honest, what’s left with these debates except to find out how much buyer’s remorse we have about Romney?

Voter ID is a duh issue. You’re either for voter fraud or you aren’t. All the other stances are BS.

Here’s my grand vision for the future: giant robots stomping on Taliban. They’ll hate us for our giant robots. And fear us.

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Only Career Politicians Should Be President

Monday, January 16, 2012 12:02 pm

I have the day off for Martin Luther King Day so I’m going to spend the day concentrating on not being racist instead of blogging, but I do have a new column in the New York Post on how we should only elect a president who hasn’t been sullied by working in a private sector, for-profit job.

Isn’t there something just so reassuring about a career politician? He has never worried about “profit” or “efficiency” or “success”; his every job has involved only helping people.

Read and be ensmartened.

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Nuke the News: Another Trillion Should Solve Everything

Friday, January 13, 2012 11:00 am

* Sorry, been a bad week for blogging for me. Good news: I’m making some progress on my next book which I promise to be the funniest book ever and solve all our nation’s problems. It might create new problems for other nations, but that’s not my concern.

* Good news: Conservatives still more popular a political identification than moderate or liberal. Of course, I wonder how many “moderates” are really liberals to chicken to call themselves liberals. And fringe liberals love to think they’re moderate and reasonable. So while we shouldn’t trust liberals, we extra shouldn’t trust moderates as they’re probably just confused liberals.

* Obama wants another $1.2 trillion in tax dollars to… I guess to have something to do. I don’t think he knows anything to do as president other than spend money. Maybe people need to just show him a new activity and that would help slow down the deficit. I bet he would be good at… um… maybe people could just send him to the store to fetch things. Just make sure to tell him he’s really smart whether he succeeds or not.

* What’s up with Haley Barbour? It’s like he was all, “Now that I’m done being governor, I’m going to flood the state with murderers so no one can ever rule it again.” I mean, that’s the only logical explanation I can come up with so far as he hasn’t offered any.

* Apparently, American troops are peeing on dead Taliban. Is Obama cutting troop funding so much that troops don’t even have proper latrines and instead have to rely on dead Taliban for relieving themselves? This is an outrage; someone has to hold Obama accountable.

* Kinda odd for the Daily Show to go after someone using harsh rhetoric against the Tea Party, but here you go. Pretty funny.

It wouldn’t hurt for more people to go after liberal hypocrisy on civility. The right might actually might listen to the left if they said things like, “Here’s example of where we went over the line; try not to be like us.” But they’re never that self-aware.

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Random Thoughts

Friday, January 13, 2012 9:24 am

Okay, I didn’t have any random thoughts yesterday — not a one. As I’ve said, it’s been kind of a crazy week, but I’ll think more in the future, I swear. So why don’t we use this space to think about what’s most important in life. Like oxygen.

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Nuke the News: Religious Firing Freedom

Thursday, January 12, 2012 11:00 am

* If Romney likes firing people, know what he should have been? A religious organization. The Supreme Court has ruled that if someone has any ministry duties, they can be fired for whatever reason and can’t sue for job discrimination. So there’s an actual extra freedom religion has, and it was supported in a 9-0 decision. So we’re always thinking everything is going to hell in a handbasket lately, but there’s some good news here and there. So do you think other businesses are going to become more religious so they can have more control over their own hiring and firing? Wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.

* An Iranian nuclear scientist was killed in a car bomb. But explosions are so common in the Middle East, they consider that a death by natural causes.

So who was responsible? The CIA? Mossad? Teenagers? Yeah, probably punk teenagers. Lou, cancel the prom!

* Warren Buffet said he should be paying more in taxes. So he was told he can just go ahead and write a check and do that. And his response: “No, you do that!” What a little weasel. I mean, he obviously understands giving the government more of his money is basically just tossing it in a black hole and pointless, yet he wants to forcefully confiscate other people’s money for this? I’m starting to think maybe the government should confiscate his money and give it to more responsible, more honest billionaires.

* Hostess has filed for bankruptcy. We all thought Michelle Obama’s healthy eating crusade was funny, but now it’s destroying jobs. Michelle, don’t let your hatred of fat kids destroy the American economy!

* Well, that’s all I have time for today. What did you all find newsworthy today? Hmm. That’s very interesting. Tell me more!

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Probably Just Me

Thursday, January 12, 2012 10:46 am

[pic via IMAO reader Laurie]

Has anyone else noticed that Michelle Obama’s eyebrows run at opposite angles to her brow ridges, making it look like she has two x’s above her eyes?

It’s like Beaker was on vacation and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew had a bad accident with her at Muppet Labs.

By the way, from now on, you’ll be helpless to keep from noticing Michelle’s XX problem in every picture you see of her. Sorry about that.

Bonus question: what was originally in the background before they the White House web-nerds photoshopped in the out-of-focus stockings and Christmas tree?

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Random Thoughts

Thursday, January 12, 2012 9:20 am

Hostess is bankrupt? Now Michelle Obama’s healthy eating campaign is KILLING JOBS!

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Stop Romney? Unpossible!

Thursday, January 12, 2012 7:16 am

We’ve been told by the media, so you know it’s true: Romney is unstoppable!

Have you seen the delegate count?

He already has 20 delegates, 7 of which are binding. And he’s only … let’s do the math real quick … 1,124 shy of securing the nomination. Unless the 13 non-binding delegates jump ship. Even then he’s still only 1,137 delegates shy of wrapping this whole thing up.

Rick Santorum, meanwhile, only has 12 non-binding delegates. That means he has to get all of 1,132 delegates and hope none of those 12 go elsewhere. Unpossible, I tell you!

Look at the numbers! 1,124 is less than 1,132. There’s no way Santorum can get such a large number in so short a period of time. And Romney? That small number he has to achieve and he’s got months to get that total. Unstoppable, I tell you!!

And don’t even get me started on how far Newt Gingrich or Rick Perry has to go. They’re both 20 delegates behind Romney.

Twenty!!1!!!!

But for the rest of the GOP field? Give it up. It’s over. Pack it in, fellas. There’s no way Romney can be stopped. He’s a juggernaut. Which is like an astronaut, but with jugs. Or maybe I’m thinking of something I saw on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Doesn’t matter. Romney can’t be stopped!

The Republican establishment is ready for you to come on board. The media is ready for you to come on board. They are ready to accept your support of Mitt Romney.


[Direct link]

Join them, won’t you?

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Nuke the News:

Wednesday, January 11, 2012 11:00 am

* Going to have to skimp on the post today as it’s been kind of a crazy week. Anyway, you know what’s going on: Romney won New Hampshire, it’s inevitable he’s the nominee so let’s prepare for Romney vs. Obama, blah blah blah.

* Well, one other thing. Feel like I should link to one of the few times Ron Paul makes sense while the other candidates are talking nonsense. The way the other “conservative” candidate have been going after Romney’s business experience is disgusting.

* Also, I have to mention this.

Citing ongoing threats from nuclear proliferation, climate change, and the need to find sustainable and safe sources of energy, scientists moved the “Doomsday Clock” one minute closer to midnight on Tuesday.

You understand this is like saying “Citing how cute and lovable they are, scientists played with My Little Ponies and brushed each others hair.” It may involve “scientists” (though I haven’t seen their credentials), but it has nothing to do with science. Science is not arbitrarily moving hands on a giant toy clock based on predictions the scientific method can’t even begin to make. We really need more distinction between “science” and “things people called scientists are doing and saying” as the latter often isn’t science but simply “idiocy”.

* Well, that’s it. Be honorable, ronin.

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Random Thoughts

Wednesday, January 11, 2012 9:14 am

A big advantage of a Republican president is that press will actually hold him accountable.

The primary has given Republicans a lot of choices on how long they want to pretend they’re not going to nominate Romney.

When I was a kid, they spent a lot of time teaching us what racism is. With next gen, spend some time teaching them what racism isn’t.

Fixing my car makes me realize how archaically mechanical a car is. When will they be solid state?

So are we gearing up for Romney vs. Obama or are we pretending a bit longer?

Buttercup has croup. You’ve never seen a more pathetic 15 month year old.

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lolbama! Part 80

Tuesday, January 10, 2012 8:25 pm

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Arik:

From Arik:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Larsinkima:

From Larsinkima:

[reference link]

From Larsinkima:

[reference link]

From tanstaafl:

From Travelwise42:

[reference link]


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Arik:

From Arik:

From James:

[reference link]

From Jim:

From me (Harvey):

[reference link]

From tanstaafl:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


I’m going with Travelwise42, since I’m guessing not many folk remember that headline.

What say you?


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

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Nuke the News: Romney the Capitalist

Tuesday, January 10, 2012 11:00 am

* Well, I think I’m done and ready to declare Romney our nominee. There is a lot — a lot — I don’t like about Romney, but when the other Republicans are attacking him for being a capitalist, I’m pretty much done with everyone else and ready to embrace the inevitable. I mean, really, the last minute ploy is to come at Romney from the left? And the last thing this economy needs is people acting all uncomfortable with how the free market works. It’s like everyone is going Huntsman and forgetting they’re running in a Republican primary.

* Romney made a statement about how it’s nice to be able to fire people who give you bad service — like a lot of people can’t do with those who provides their health insurance or any service associated with government — and now political hacks (including, again, some “Republicans” running against him in the primary) are piling on. I notice that when Romney gets hit with dumb attacks, I immediately forget all his faults and go into defense mode. Well, that’s a preview of what the rest of the year is going to be like as liberals learn who their target is and come up with every dumb attack they can. It would be nice to have someone to root for, but we’ll just have to satisfy ourselves knocking down twits.

And wouldn’t it be awesome if Romney became president and did nothing but fire people?

* BTW, there is the New Hampshire primary today. Doesn’t seem to be getting as much attention as Iowa because Romney is expected to run away with it. There’s a little bit of drama on who will get second place as it might be Huntsman’s last and only hurrah. Of course, there is no prize for second place in the primary as a lot of Republican candidates don’t seem to understand.

* So Obama’s chief of staff is resigning. I don’t think he probably shoulders most of the blame for why the president is so unpopular, though. If you want to fire who’s really responsible, we can do that in November. Expect a big jump in the president’s popularity after that.

* In 2009, Obama had a big lavish Alice in Wonderland party, but we never heard of it because the press were nice enough not to mention it since they thought a big lavish party held by the Obama’s would make him look bad with a recession going on. And that leads us to a big advantage to a Republican president: The press will actually hold him accountable.

* Obama has banned mining for uranium around the Grand Canyon. Where are we supposed to get our uranium, then? It’s like Obama hates this country. And is uncomfortable with the thought of us having nuclear weapons.

* Wisdom of the Day from John Podhoretz:

Todd Palin endorses Newt. In other news, my daughter just ate a tomato.

* As we settle in to having Romney as our nominee, we might as well work on some more slogans for him. Here’s a new one I came up with:

“Romney: He just seems like a president”

BTW, Romney campaign, I’m available for consulting work. I’m very expensive… which means I’m very good.

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Random Thoughts

Tuesday, January 10, 2012 9:20 am

Wow. When I actually heard the full Romney firing statement, it was the most innocuous thing ever.

I wasn’t sold on Romney, but with the other Republicans complaining he’s a capitalist, I’m getting closer.

Mitt Romney’s “I like to run over poor people in my limousine” statement is actually rather innocuous when heard in context.

“This independent film is really boring.”
“No, it’s a defensive struggle.”

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