Random Thoughts
The Keystone pipeline would make greens unhappy, and can you put a price tag on happiness? If you did, it’s apparently billions of dollars
“I have invented colorful dough that kids can mold into shapes. I shall name it after myself.” -Plato
Nominating Newt is one of those plans you’d suffix with “It’s so crazy, it just might work!”
2nd look at Newt! (or are we up to 3rd now?)
I have no idea whether Newt would be a good or bad president, but I’m absolutely certain he’d be a hilarious one.
If you don’t care so much about winning as you do making sure the election season is crazy awesome, Newt is the way to go.
Mitt or Newt? Do we choose to die of boredom or in a massive explosion?
Newt 2012: “Hug the grizzly bear and hope for the best.”
“Newtonium is a powerful, unstable element that could easily kill us all when handled.”
“I only heard ‘powerful’.”
We Republicans set our expectations way too high by having any.
I know this slate of candidates looks bad, but I’m political satirist, so all I see is a secure financial future. If we can somehow get Newt to be president, that alone should propel me into the 1%.
Today is the day I finally teach Buttercup to say, “Arrr!” like a pirate.
The Republican primary reminds of that year with American Idol where Sanjaya kept sticking around while actual good singers were voted off.
I WATCH AMERICAN IDOL WITH MY WIFE BECAUSE I’M A GOOD HUSBAND!!!
If you’ve designed a government that relies on good competent people to run it, you’ve designed a government to fail.
Romney: “Let me just talk a lot until you tune out and assume I answered the charge.”
Why is Ron Paul still in debates? I know they usually go by polling on who should attend, but shouldn’t there be a nuttiness standard?
There’s nothing easier than coasting as a legislator. It’s not much by itself to run on.
The best way for someone as rich as Romney to get more sympathy is to bring into his home an adorable orphan.
Why do I care about Mitt Romney’s tax returns? Does he owe me something?
Ron Paul doesn’t take lobbyist money. He sticks to honest racist newsletter money.
In a better world, our income wouldn’t even be the government’s business.
Government works for us. We need to see its budget, not the other way around.
They’d hire 500,000 Americans if enough of them would work for $0.10 an hour.
We like outsourcing poverty.
I don’t like borders. I don’t like foreign countries touching us.
A Lincoln-Douglas debate is just like a regular debate but with stovepipe hats. In other words, a Lincoln-Douglas debate IS AWESOME!
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January 20th, 2012 at 9:56 am
Why does anyone care about Mitt Romney’s tax returns? If a tax cheat can be allowed to run the Department of Treasury there is no moral high ground on the subject.
January 20th, 2012 at 9:56 am
They still doing that American Idol thing? I can’t watch that part where they make them eat bugs.
January 20th, 2012 at 10:06 am
Newt Ginrgrich in a stovepipe hat putting Obama in his place would make me so happy:)
January 20th, 2012 at 10:07 am
The adorable orphan idea is promising, though he is going to want to be careful to not look like Scrooge McDuck.
Also, this is not the election cycle to adopt a sassy Gary Coleman type.
January 20th, 2012 at 10:25 am
Whats you talkin bout Hwuu?
Newt for White House Press Secretary for President Bolton….
January 20th, 2012 at 10:53 am
What Romney SHOULD have said about his tax returns; “I strive to send the least possible amount of my money to the government, and I’m good at it. When elected President I’ll work hard to do the same for you.”
That would have been much better than; “Well, um, yeah, I, uh, might release some of my tax returns, but I’m not sure yet.”
January 20th, 2012 at 11:52 am
Good job with the AAAR. If Buttercup turns out to have lazy eye at some point and has to wear an eyepatch for a while, she’ll be ahead of the game. Good daddy!
January 20th, 2012 at 12:00 pm
After watching the introductions to the debates last night my wife said “That did it, I’m voting for Pat Paulson. Obama is terrible, but the idea of any of these idiots with their finger on the button scares me.”
Not so sure about that. With Newt’s finger on the button DNC headquarters and anywhere John King is standing would be a bad place to be. Which is a good thing for all of us.
We must convince Newt that rocket and laser mounted dinosaurs are a great way to deal with bitter ex-wives.
January 20th, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Has anyone ever figured out why women get so angry after a divorce?
That’s the extent of my random thinking since getting my power back after the ice storm (and I’m one of the lucky ones!)
January 20th, 2012 at 12:29 pm
“Why do I care about Mitt Romney’s tax returns? Does he owe me something?”
Umm…so, let me get this straight. The same media that has no interest in whether or not Barack Obama is even legally eligible to be president; that has no desire to verify if he went to the colleges he claims to have attended, who paid for them, or how he got into them since he’s sealed all his records; and can’t even state with any conviction what country he lived in in what year, is mad that Mitt Romney hasn’t released his tax return? Umm…okay.
January 20th, 2012 at 12:51 pm
Beats me. I tolerate my ex much better now that I don’t have to put up with him every day. The crash and burn in income and lifestyle was not fun, but I was raised poor and can put up with it if I have to. Freedom ain’t free.
January 20th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
I’m not surprised, Crabby. You’re not “normal.”
Whoa. Now I’m in trouble. What I mean is you’re too smart for most.
January 20th, 2012 at 1:54 pm
The best way for someone as rich as Romney to get more sympathy is to bring into his home an adorable orphan. He might as well try that… ’cause this sure didn’t help him. http://news.yahoo.com/msnbc-guest-suggests-romney-racist-giving-money-struggling-063949165.html
January 20th, 2012 at 3:12 pm
This just in: Dismembered body found near hollywood sign and in Arizona found to be man that cut in line ahead of Chuck Norris.
January 20th, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Totally not my fault!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH97lImrr0Q
January 20th, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Abby Normal, but of course.
January 20th, 2012 at 4:10 pm
That’s one hell of an implant!
January 20th, 2012 at 4:19 pm
My random thought: True justice, sometimes it just happens… http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/01/19/man-convicted-killing-ga-girl-found-dead/
January 20th, 2012 at 4:28 pm
The good thing about not building the Keystone pipeline is that it’ll finally make me stop carping about not drilling in ANWR. Ah, what the heck. ANWR: A potential source of 10% of US oil consumption from a drilling pad 4 sq. miles large in a deserted area larger than 10 US states.
I’m still going to carp about New York’s implicit ban on natural gas mining.
January 20th, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Jimmy:
Why do women get angry after a divorce? Beats me: I became extraordinarily happy. Like ‘Julie Andrews singing ‘The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Music’ and running through the fields’ happy.
January 20th, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Oh, and if Buttercup learns to say “Arrr!” like a pirate, she’ll almost be caught up to Syd: I inadvertently taught her to say “penis!” the other night. She was so proud of herself.
January 20th, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Well, actually, it’s Crabby Normal now.
January 20th, 2012 at 5:41 pm
Well, for true justice, he would have been raped, cut, beaten and stabbed, then placed in a garbage bag before being stuffed in a trash compactor – but at least the State of Georgia won’t have to waste any more resources feeding and housing his worthless carcass. One assumes the medical examiner is on salary, and the State will not be out-of-pocket for the autopsy. On to Potter’s Field! (After his family has been charged for the coffin, of course).
Not that I’m vindictive or anything.
January 20th, 2012 at 10:54 pm
I’ll give you that one Crabby…and hereby modify my post to read ‘Justice” omitting the word ‘True’.
January 20th, 2012 at 11:02 pm
The moderator at the debate last night did a good job.
He didn’t constantly interrupt the candidates to tell them that their time was up, so they actually got to speak in complete sentences for a change.
Of course, it may be because he was afraid Gingrich would leap over the podium and bite his throat out if he did.
January 20th, 2012 at 11:09 pm
> he was afraid Gingrich would leap over the podium and bite his throat out if he did.
I would pay good money to see that.
January 20th, 2012 at 11:47 pm
I second what Basil said, but someone has to do that to Ron Paul… or Rachel Maddow.
January 21st, 2012 at 2:41 am
#26 – Basil,
“I would pay good money to see that.”
Wait, the campaign is still young!