Really excited about my next book. It will be the magnum opus of my ten years of blogging. Definitely funniest book ever.
“We made three mistakes: We hung an innocent man, we didn’t finish the job, and we used ‘infer’ when we meant ‘imply’.”
So Dick Cheney and the Koch brothers – the nexus of right-wing evil – support gay marriage. Hurm.
If a large number of Americans were unable to name our current president, then that would mean we have the best president ever.
My big problem with speed-reading is that I just can’t move my lips that fast.
“You may have defeated the Third Reich, but we’ll live on as stock villains in Hollywood FOREVER!”
Supervillain Loophole: Commit a crime so dastardly it affects everyone on earth, there will be no unbiased jury to prosecute you. For instance, if you block out the sun for a week, there’s no way you could get a fair trial for that.
Don’t follow NBA, so I finally looked up Jeremy Lin. Like a pre-written Hollywood underdog story.
I guarantee the Hollywood version of the Jeremy Lin story will have at least one kung fu fight. Can’t have an Asian star and no kung fu fight.
In that scene near the end of the Firefly pilot, I’m pretty sure Mal Reynolds shoots first but maybe I’m just seeing it wrong.
How dare Chris Christie. Did he learn nothing from the long hard fight to allow fat-person marriage?
“Bear” misspelled one way is aspirin while misspelled another way is paint. That’s dangerous because you don’t want to drink paint when you have a headache.
“I love Michael Bay movies!” -the next Hitler
Liberals are really afraid of the religious imposing their views on the American public because that’s their job.
The best way a man can help feminism is to have sex with lots of women because otherwise those contraceptives are rather pointless.
My dog isn’t religious. She a secular dogist.
Genius baby? Buttercup has advanced language skills for her age. On the other hand, she just threw a blanket on her head and ran into a wall.
Batman is always going after the root causes of crime: criminals’ faces. He solves them with his fist.