15 Fun Facts About Obama Eating a Dog

Posted on April 25, 2012 1:00 pm

I swear I *really* want to stop talking about this subject, but something keeps drawing me back in.

Maybe if I type out a some of these annoying thoughts swirling around my head, I can make it all go away.
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The worst part about Obama eating a dog? None of the toadies on his staff had the guts to tell him he still had whiskers stuck in his teeth. Whiskers was the name of the dog.

1) In 1972, a Uruguayan rugby team’s airplane crashed in the Andes mountains, and some of them ate human flesh to survive. Unlike Barack Obama, none of them ate a dog.

2) If a liberal defends Obama’s dog-eating, just say – slowly, and with an honestly-confused look on your face – “yeah… but… Obama. Ate. A. Dog.” Ironically, said liberal will then get angry enough to bite the head off a terrier.

3) Obama supposedly ate a dog to gain its powers. Was his goal to lick his own privates, or did he just want to eat cat turds out of a litter box?

4) Speaking of dog-powers, Koreans regularly eat dogs, yet unlike a dog, North Korea has yet to successfully launch into Earth orbit. What’s up with that?

5) Many Americans are skeptical about whether Obama actually ate a dog, since he has yet to release his original, long-form recipe.

6) Some people are demanding that Obama apologize for eating a dog. Others call the notion ridiculous and insist that nothing short of reparations will suffice.

7) At a press briefing, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney responded to inquiries on Obama’s dog-eating by saying “it’s just a distraction”, and NOT – as some outlets reported – “a dachshund.”

8) The thing that angers liberals most about “Obama ate a dog” jokes is that they don’t make the people who tell them look racist.

9) And you thought Glenn Reynolds had trouble shaking the “puppy blender” moniker…

10) Obama never actually said he ate a dog. He only said he was “introduced to dog meat.” Begging the question, “after the introductions were over, when did he say his goodbyes?”

11) Meriwether Lewis (of Lewis and Clark fame) also ate dog. However, historians have yet to discover a single hilarious photoshopped image of him doing so.

12) Although Obama has promised that his dog-eating days are behind him, he was recently caught on a hot mic telling Russian President Dmitry Medvedev that, after the election, he’d have the “flexibility” to “chew on a dog” if Putin said his name 3 times.

13) Obama eating a dog is just a distraction from the real issues this country faces, like OBAMA ATE ROASTED GRASSHOPPER! Are we avoiding this discussion just because Mitt Romney never strapped a grasshopper to the roof of his car? The man ate a bug! And he wasn’t even being chased by Reavers!

14) Can you imagine how irritated feminists would be at the jokes being made if Obama had eaten a cat?

15) Hopefully, Obama eating a dog will finally make dogs seriously reflect and ask themselves, “why do they ate us?”. Also, they should reflect on their poor grammar skills.
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And, because I’m sure you guys need to get it out of your systems, I’ll be awarding High Praise! to the worst “Obama ate a dog” pun that gets left in the comments. Allow me to set the bar nice & low:

“Why did Obama brag about eating a dog? Doesn’t he know that Americans find that re-pug-nant?”

UPDATE: High Praise! to Les for setting the bar so low even Hermes Conrad couldn’t limbo under it.

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45 Responses to “15 Fun Facts About Obama Eating a Dog”

  1. tomg51 says:

    And that’s the dog-gone truth

  2. Les says:

    Just an observation — On this date in 1719, Robinson Crusoe was published.

    Twenty-eight years on a freakin’ desert island, and he didn’t eat his dog!

  3. Jimmy says:

    Obama’s favorite expression: “Hot diggity dog!”

    If you throw Obama a bone, his eyes light up. And then he says: “Where’s the beef meat?”

  4. Mxymaster says:

    Look, all they said was, “Let’s eat some chow!” and he took it a little too far.

  5. Jimmy says:

    Rewrite: “Where’s the beef dog meat?”

    More:

    If you use the word ‘dogmatic,’ Obama might think you’re talking about a meat grinder – or an SNL skit.

    A “Double-Dog-Dare” is actually a dog burger with two patties served at the “Obama’s Gone To The Dog’s Bar and Grill” in Chicago.

    If you think BO is being dogminded, he’s not. He’s in fear of his life.

    It’s clearly NOT a “dog-eat-dog world.” It’s an “Obama-eat-dog” world.

  6. Les says:

    From the book, “And away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat…”

    So, maybe it was a midnight snack while watching Lassie reruns? “Hey, what’s this dog mess? I thought I told you not to eat on the couch!”

    Or breakfast in bed: “Think of it this way, Barry, you’ll never have to worry about getting your slippers chewed up again.”

  7. Jacob says:

    What’s Obama’s favorite meal? Sauted collie-flower.

    Obama hates Fox News so much, he won’t even eat a foxhound.

    This whole time, Obama thought we’ve been fighting a War on Terriers.

    Obama likes to start his morning with a beagle and cream cheese.

    Ah… now we know why Obama is always salivating when he’s around Barbara Boxer.

    Onama can’t figure out why when he asks for a Shar-Pei, his staff keeps bring him a black magic marker.

    For Obama, ringing the chow bell has a whole different meaning.

    Obama likes to use a little grey Papillon on his sandwiches.

    Obama was disappointed when the Yorkshire pudding he ordered wasn’t what he thought it was.

  8. Son of Bob says:

    This started because they thought they could make an issue of Romney’s dog in 1983 and, like all their recent attacks, it backfired wildly. I’m hoping that next they attempt to attack Ann Romney for having a large ass.

  9. Jimmy says:

    This blog has gone to the dogs Obama’s.

  10. Les says:

    I just thought of a scandal moniker that could apply to either the Obama-dog story or the Secret Service affair: Tailgate.

  11. Dohtimes says:

    Waiter, what’s this dog doing in my soup? – The dog paddle. And that’s Obama’s soup.

    Obama said he would never be hounded out of office cuz he was born with a silver fork in his hand.

    Dachsymoron: When a Germen farmer is accused of cannibalism for eating a shepherd. (According to BHO when he tried to hand out a Presidential pardon.)

  12. Burmashave says:

    This just goes to show that Dog is not Obama’s copilot. More of a travel snack, really.

  13. tomg51 says:

    Obama gets sent to the doghouse – for dinner.

  14. ekim says:

    Obama had to eat dog because black men don’t eat p***y

  15. Harvey says:

    Ekim – I’m proudest of #14, because it took me forever to figure out how to “go there” without using “that word.”

  16. ekim says:

    I’m shouting “oh come on – it’s slang!” (a la Craig Ferguson.) You’re, like, oppressing my free speech and junk. Dog.

  17. FormerHostage says:

    Obama buys his meat by the pound.

  18. Critter says:

    Don’t braise me, Bo!

  19. Son of Bob says:

    Just an interesting sidenote:

    While in the White House, the Clintons had a dog named Buddy and a cat named Socks. When they left the White House – and no longer needed to put on the pets for photo ops – they gave the cat away to Betty Curry and the Buddy The Dog was “hit by a car.” Kind of curious that the only other dog that the Clintons owned was a Cocker Spaniel named Zeke who was also “hit by a car” (in 1990).

    When Jimmy Carter was in the White House, Amy Carter’s teacher gave her a dog named Grits, but Carter made her give it back.

    Why do libs hate pets?

    “After eight years and almost exactly nine days to go, the last dog is still barking. Don’t forget that even though I won’t be president, I’ll always be with you until the last dog dies.”
    ~ William J. Clinton, Farewell Speech at Dover, New Hampshire (11 January 2001) …and one year later Buddy was dead

  20. Harvey says:

    Ekim – PG-13 blog.

    Yes, I’m well aware of the irony that I’m being all “The Man” about it, since my personal blog is a good, solid R with occasional splashes of NC-17, but that was the rule Frank laid down when he gave me a login.

  21. Critter says:

    #3 made me snort so loud the judge had to bang the gavel to restore order.

  22. Harvey says:

    Son of Bob – Yeah, I remember when Socks held his press conference about that:

    http://www.imao.us/archives/008962.html

  23. CTCompromise says:

    -No wonder Obama likes Keith Doberman so much !

    -This was just his step-father’s way to show some Cairn to the boy.

    - Perhaps he was preparing for the Shih Tsu he would one day make of the U.S. economy.

    -”Ahhhh, Chihuahua…(*burp*)” Barak Obama

    - Perhaps it was a Rat Terrier which he ate in order to instill the qualities of the animal in him….if so, WELL DONE !

    - Perhaps it was a Gold(en) Retreiver…again, WELL DONE !

    -Perhaps it was just so he would be ready to live with a bitch…WELL DONE !

    -

  24. Burmashave says:

    @Son of Bob: According to a Secret Service Agent, Jimmy Carter, while president, tried to kill a dog with a saw at the Georgia farm. The dog only survived because it was whisked away from the President and was later adopted by the press pool.

    And have we forgotten the odd way LBJ had of picking up his Bassett Hounds?

  25. CTCompromise says:

    @ 24. Burmashave:

    “And have we forgotten the odd way LBJ had of picking up his Bassett Hounds?”

    No matter how he picked them up….at least he didn’t leave them gasping for air in a submerged car !

  26. blarg says:

    I think the biggest doubt that can be cast on this whole dog eating thing is by Obama admitting that the book was ghostwritten and the writer made the whole thing up so that Obama could lament a poor childhood.

  27. Bantha_Fodder says:

    Recent investigations have found that the dog Obama ate for its powers was a cross breed of a Bull dog and a Shih-tzu … … …

  28. Iowa Jim says:

    According to a Secret Service Agent, Jimmy Carter, while president, tried to kill a dog with a saw at the Georgia farm.

    Typical Jimmy Carter ineptitude; the proper tool for killing a dog is a hatchet; if you don’t have a hatchet, a ball-peen hammer will work.

  29. CaptMidnight says:

    Republican President Herbert Clark Hoover’s 1928 election campaign slogan was “A Chicken in Every Pot and a Car in Every Garage!”
    Socialist President Barack Hussein Obama II’s 2012 election campaign slogan could be “A Dog in Every Pot and a Volt in Every Garage!”

  30. Pat says:

    The president thinks distemper shots are an after dinner drink.

  31. Supertink says:

    What does Obama call a kennel?
    Hometown Buffet.

    I know, it’s not a pun.

    Obama didn’t have a silver spoon. His was gold. And he used it to eat ramen poodles.

  32. Iowa Jim says:

    On the menu for the next state dinner at the White House:

    soup: mulligadoggie
    poodles Romanoff
    entree: sauteed freshly-caught sea basset
    dessert: hound cake

  33. Mark L. says:

    Some people think the Socialist Creep (TM) is a Muslim. He’s really an agnostic insomniac dyslexic. He stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

  34. Les says:

    The Daily Collar reports that a “rabid response team” of Blue Dog Democratic campaign officials has been caught concocting a dog and pony show — a fake military action against the Canary Islands as part of the war on terrier — in a dogged attempt to throw news hounds off the trail of the administration’s recent faux pas.

    DogPAC is pointing at a prodigious playwright for penning the script for the audacious scheme in an under-the-table deal.

    But David Mamutt told C-Spaniel that he has a bone to pick with the “mangy curs” who are tying him to what he is calling a “doggerel of a screenplay.” The writer is foaming at the mouth at allegations that he had any role in the “steaming pile.” He says it would be a “black spot” on his career. Mamutt barked at Brian Lamb that he is “not going to roll over,” and “won’t take this lying down.”

    Administration lapdogs who were called on the carpet and chewed out for shepherding the project pooh-poohed the allegations. Top presidential advisor David Axeldog described the leak as a “piddling attempt to keep the president on a short leash,” and said that attackers are just trying to dig up dirt in an effort to muzzle his campaign.

    Meanwhile, Hollywood studio 20th Century Fox is already salivating over the potential for a movie based on the scandal. Its working title is “Wagyu the Dog or: How I Learned to Stop Worming and Love the Obama.”

    __________

    Hand it over, Harvey!

  35. Harvey says:

    Hand it I shall.

  36. hwuu says:

    When Obama walks the dog, He Woks the dog.

    Bo knows stir fry.

  37. Hayabusa says:

    I hope this story dogs him all the way through November 6.

  38. zipity says:

    This is all hateful…..! Obama loves dogs. Especially in a garlic cream sauce……

    Who let the dogs out…..? Obama’s chef….chef..chef…..chef Who let the dogs out…..? Obama’s chef….chef……..chef….chef

    Obama thinks “Old Yeller” and “My Dog Skip” are comedies…..

    If Obama called him…..Lassie would NOT come home……

    This puts the collection of dog collars in Baracks sock drawer into a whole different light……

  39. Raul says:

    Looks like Barry really stewed the pooch.

  40. currently says:

    Obama’s campaign is trying to win over the Asian and Hispanic voters by promising to never, ever eat another Akita Fajita.

  41. Les says:

    Aw, thanks. I spent a hard day’s night on that piece of yellow journalism.

  42. bigCV says:

    Q: How do you encode “Obama” in vigesimal?
    A: 8K9

    [Vigesimal is just like hexadecimal but in base 20. It goes up to K because it skips the I]

    Variant:
    Q: What’s the tinyURL of Obamathegreatestpresidentinthehistoryofeverything(themovie).com?
    A: 8K9

    Multi-lingual:
    2008: Yes, we can. 2012: Yes, eat chien.

  43. CarolyntheMommy says:

    Hey all – sorry. I’ve been busy not working a day in my life with 2 children. This was a beautiful piece to come back to!

  44. Geoarrge says:

    Hey, at least grasshoppers are kosher.

  45. Warren Andrle says:

    Obama was over heard at the ball park saying “Back home we threw this part out”

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