Random Thoughts: Titanic Trutherism

Posted on April 16, 2012 9:40 am

If Romney doesn’t like guns, that would just be further evidence he’s Batman.

Romney: “I am a big supporter of automatic bullet-firing weaponry.”

Not once has Obama ever spoken against raping chickens.

People barely ever rue anything other than “the day”.

I don’t want to jinx it, but I hope you fail.

As a baby, you stumble around, confused by everything. When you grow older, you learn to fake it better.

Violence is never the best solution unless you’re judging by speed and the amount of satisfaction you’ll get.

If I’m opposed to stay at home moms influencing politics, am I man from 1910 or a modern feminist?

I’m having fun at Coachella stealing purses.

How much tax money has been wasted on pillars and domes? Why do government buildings need those?

Every government building should be a simple square structure where everyone sits on folding chairs.

There is a certain level of stupidity that’s only attainable by currently being at college, either as a student or a professor.

ICE CAN’T CUT STEEL!!! #Titanic

The main lesson from the Titanic is to not start a voyage by looking up at the heavens and shouting, “I defy you to sink this!”

The other lesson: Icebergs always have the right of way.

Doesn’t “iceberg” sound a bit like a Jewish superhero with frost powers?

The Titanic is why most cruises these days are to the Caribbeans and stuff – no icebergs.

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37 Responses to “Random Thoughts: Titanic Trutherism”

  1. tomg51 says:

    Except the French. They rue everything.

  2. Mxymaster says:

    “Iceberg, Goldberg, what’s the difference?” #punchlinesonly

    Personally I think pillars and domes are about the only thing government does well.

  3. Greenberg says:

    A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.

    “What was that for?” the Chinese man asked.

    “That was for Pearl Harbor!” the Jewish man said.

    “Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I’m Chinese.”

    “Chinese, Japanese, you are all the same!”

    “Oh!”

    They continued walking and after a while the Chinese man whirled and knocked the Jewish man to the ground.

    “What was that for?” the Jewish man asked.

    “That was for the Titanic!”

    “The Titanic? That was an iceberg.”

    “Iceberg, Goldberg, you are all the same.”

  4. Matt says:

    Iceberg was the Hebrew cousin of Mr. Freeze.

    If Romney really is Batman, he should get right on that unless he is worried about losing their the Jewish vote. However, given Obama’s stance on Israel I don’t think that will be a problem.

  5. Burmashave says:

    How much tax money has been wasted on pillars and domes? Why do government buildings need those?

    In the commonwealth that is Massachusetts, you might wonder why tax money was wasted on gilding their capitol dome with gold (literally) while unemployment was running relatively high. Despite the fact that the dome had never been gilded before, the gilding was part of a “historical restoration” project.

    Frank J., I’m working on a theory as to the why of it. It goes like this: they don’t care. I’ve got a rough extension to theory. It involves the ability and desire of politicians to give either a quantity of feces or the rectum of a rat.

  6. Jimmy says:

    Two blonds were stranded on an iceberg with only a telescope. One of the blonds was looking through the telescope and said, ”We’re saved! Look, it’s the Titanic!”

    (Okay, okay, I found it on the Internet. But it’s just the tip of the iceberg!)

  7. DamnCat says:

    Who the heck picked the name “Titanic” for that ship? Why didn’t they just call it “Epic Fail”?

  8. Les says:

    If they just had flat-topped cylindrical buildings instead of domes, they could save on gilding alone by a factor of four. But it wouldn’t impress anyone unless they were flying over, so I suggest they just skip the gilding altogether and pass the savings on to me.

    “See that thing that looks like a big ol’ fuel tank? Yep, that’s our capitol.”

  9. hwuu says:

    I think Louisianians Rue Batons.

  10. Son of Bob says:

    “How much tax money has been wasted on pillars and domes? Why do government buildings need those?”

    Frank has nailed the solution to our current political problem. Perhaps we should redesign government buildings to be more like prisons. Then people with names like Kennedy, Pelosi, Kerry and Boehner wouldn’t want to work there.

  11. Les says:

    If I asked a Golden Girl if she regretted using marsupial fat to make sauce thickener, I’d say…

    “Do you rue ‘roo roux, Rue?”

    G’nite folks.

  12. Dohtimes says:

    I never rued Susan Dey!!! – Teenage boys everywhere, back in the day.

  13. Scott says:

    What would be appropriate would be a group photo of Obama and all of the screw-ups in his administration (e.g., Geithner, Holder, Clinton, Napolidumbo, Panetta, Obama himself, etc.) super-imposed on a picture of the Titantic, portraying all of those chronic screw-ups as the officers and crew of the Titantic.

    Of course, no such group photo would be complete without Obama’s waving hand obscuring the face of one of that clueless twit’s cabinet members.

    I can hear MSNBC’s Schultz, Maddow, O’Donnell, Sharpton and Matthems proclaiming their outrage about such a photo …., although they thought that it was very funny when David Letterman showed President George W. Bush in the cross-hairs of a sniper scope.

  14. Apostic says:

    As a baby, you stumble around, confused by everything. When you grow older, you learn to fake it better.

    So putting that on a T shirt…if it will fit…

  15. IMAO » Blog Archive » Obama-Titanic Photoshop Request links:

    […] the comments, Scott [High Praise! pending someone accepting this challenge] had this suggestion: What would be […]

  16. Scott says:

    An afterthought (or two)

    In view of Hillary Clinton’s recent undignified escapades in Columbia, and in view of the recent GSA scandal(s), it might be even more appropriate to show caricatures of Obama and caricatures of the screw-ups in his administration PARTYING on the deck or on the bridge of the Titantic …, you know, as a take-off of Nero fiddling as Rome burned. It wouldn’t even be a parody, considering that, let’s face it, Barack and Michelle HAVE BEEN living like royalty (and ostentaciously) ever since they moved into the White House,

    In fact, it is unprecedented that Obama is the only President in the history of this country to vhave shirked all of his responsibilities to spend the entire last year of his useless presidency in full campaign mode, trying to save only his own job, instead of the jobs of millions of other Americans …., thereby affirming my long held belief that he is nothing but an empty suit, a contemptable street hustler and a pretentious, decadent dilletante, who isn’t only unqualified, but unfit to be POTUS, also, for which we can thank those fools who voted for that bumbling, incompetent twit for no other reason than because they thought that it would be so cool to have our first black president. (sigh)

  17. Yoda says:

    Re: Scott, the force is strong in that one.

  18. Scott says:

    How can antone feel anything other than revulsion for Hillary Clinton?

  19. Scott says:

    * anyone, not antone ” (Argh!!!)

    How can [anyone] feel anything other than revulsion for Hillary Clinton?

  20. plentyobailouts says:

    Iceberg, isn’t he a jewelry salesman in new york?

    Its too bad that the occupant’s typical white grandmother wasn’t on the Titanic.

    The gubmunt needs domes because they are the only places where pointy headed politicians can stand upright.

    I just realized we are ruled by Coneheads, from france.

  21. Scott says:

    @ #15 – Aw shucks, twern’t noth’n. (blushing here)

    P.S. One more afterthought …; for the benefit of those who might not get it otherwise, you know, like Democrats, it might be helpful to have a cartoon caricature of Nero fiddling, along with or inserted into that group photo of the Obama Administration on the Titantic.. Thank you for evaluating the merits of my suggestion, y’all. :)

  22. Scott says:

    * along with or inserted into that group photo of the Obama Administration [partying] on the Titantic * (Argh, dittos)

    Adios amigos 8)

  23. Scott says:

    A typist I’m not. Next time I’ll leave a voicemail.

  24. Crabby Old Bat says:

    Scott says: How can [anyone] feel anything other than revulsion for Hillary Clinton?

    I, for one, find it quite easy to supplement my revulsion with contempt and loathing.

  25. Scott says:

    @ #24 – As someone who has always had a soft spot in his heart for puppies, kittens, babies, little old ladies and little old men, I’m distressed by the name that you’ve chosen for yourself. Just say’n.

  26. Scott says:

    But then, my dad reminisces that my problems stem from the fact that, when I was a baby, my precocious and incorrigible, older, little brother liked to scoop gooey stuff out of the soft spot on top of my head.

  27. zzyzx says:

    Q: How much tax money has been wasted on pillars and domes? Why do government buildings need those? A: Because rather then wasting taxpayer monies the construction of pillars and domes provide good paying union jobs. Just ask the International Brotherhood of Pillar and Dome Builders.

  28. Apostic says:

    plentyobailouts says:

    April 16th, 2012 at 2:34 pm
    Iceberg, isn’t he a jewelry salesman in new york?

    Heh. Nah, he works for the border patrol stationed at La Jolla…

  29. Crabby Old Bat says:

    Scott says: @ #24 – As someone who has always had a soft spot in his heart for puppies, kittens, babies, little old ladies and little old men, I’m distressed by the name that you’ve chosen for yourself. Just say’n.

    Lots of people have that soft spot in their hearts for little old ladies, which is how we get away with being crabby and unreasonable in public. Clara Peller was absolutely loved for having a screaming meltdown at the counter of a fast-food joint. “Where’s the beef?!” Like the poor cashier could do anything about it. People chuckle fondly when we yell, “Get off my lawn!” and, in my family, my grandmother is fondly remembered for her catch-phrase, “Quit yer hell-raisin’ out here!” We yell that in unison at family reunions, and it never fails to raise smiles on everyone’s faces. Age has its compensations, and one of them is being a full-on bee-yotch in public, and having people think it’s adorable.

  30. Jimmy says:

    I’ve run into crabby, unreasonable old ladies in public and I always can make ‘em stop and start flirting instead. It’s me Irish charm, I guess.

    Also, I don’t think there is crabby you are, Crabby!

  31. Mxymaster says:

    If DC puts out a special issue where Batman goes up against the Stinking Hippie (“Our Face-Punchingest Issue Ever”) then we’ll know he’s Romney.

  32. Bix Dugan says:

    Remember that campaign photo of Obama in front of the Superman Statue? Someone tell Romney to pose in front of the Batman Statue… Extra points if he drapes part of his jacket in front of his face, peering over the top like Batman.

  33. Crabby Old Bat says:

    Bix Dugan says: Remember that campaign photo of Obama in front of the Superman Statue?

    Stoaty Weasel fixed it: http://sweasel.com/archives/9950

  34. zzyzx says:

    Yo Bix…I think you got Batman confused with Dracula.

  35. Critter says:

    government doesn’t Just do pillars and domes well, they do tasteful marble parque flooring.

  36. 4of7 says:

    Maybe Romney is more like the Green Hornet; I think he had an elevator for his car too.

    Axelrod said, “The choice in this election is between an economy that produces a growing middle class and that gives people a chance to get ahead and their kids a chance to get ahead and an economy that continues down the road we’re on.”

    You mean the road we’ve been on for the last 3 1/2 years?
    Let’s see how fast he can walk That back!

    #33 – CrabbyOldBat,
    Thanks! That made my day!

  37. Mxymaster says:

    Boy — I guess you really SHOULDN’T tug on Superman’s cape.

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