Another Brilliant Move by the EPA

The EPA made a deal with NASCAR to promote recycling and environmentally-friendly products to racing fans.

Next up: selling iPods to the Amish.

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And You Were Worried They Couldn’t Come Up With a Dumber Idea Than Battleship

Tetris: The Movie


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #768,103)

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Does This Take Superhero Parodies Too Far?

That Iron Man scooter was crazy enough, but superhero album covers?


Wolverine doing Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”

And yeah, it gets weirder…

(For you younger folks, an “album” was like a big, black CD made out of vinyl that people put on spinning platforms back in the Long, Long Ago.)

(For you older folks, it was like a wax cylinder, except flat.)

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Link of the Day: Top 10 Reasons Michelle Obama Appeared on the Letterman Show

Missed this when it came out in March, but I think it’s timeless enough to still enjoy today:

Top 10 Reasons Michelle Obama Appeared on the Letterman Show

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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10 Things Nancy Pelosi Knows Better Than You

The West Coast Botoxian is at it again, bragging about how much smarter she is than the numerous federal judges and countless legal scholars who disagree with her:

When asked why she is so confident the Supreme Court will uphold the health care law, Pelosi says, “Because I know the Constitution.”

Were I a Twitterite, I’d suggest the hashtag #NancyKnows and encourage people to pile on.

Not being such, I’ll just speculate thusly regarding the superior contents of her surgically-taut-skinned noggin:
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Nancy knows how to do a killer Dr. Evil impression.

1) Surprisingly, Nancy knows how to find out what’s in the Constitution, even though she didn’t personally pass it first.

2) Nancy knows why the rent is too damn high.

3) Nancy knows if the cat in the box is alive or dead. Suck it, Schrödinger!

4) Nancy knows what’s in the “Pulp Fiction” briefcase. Not quite sure how to get a special tax on it past those obstructionist Republicans, though.

5) Nancy knows why the caged bird sings. Also suspects the song it’s singing is racist, since it sounds suspiciously like “When You’re Holding a Hammer“.

6) Nancy knows that paying people to work creates fewer jobs than paying them to NOT work. May be somewhat unclear on what a “job” is, however.

7) Nancy knows how to turn lead into gold. Step 1: find someone with gold. Step 2: hit them with a lead pipe and steal it.

8) Nancy knows which way you swing – no asking or telling required.

9) Nancy knows how to defy the law of gravity, but, as usual, only government officials are allowed to get away with it.

10) Nancy knows what the Matrix is, although she lacks the ultra-cool sunglasses to prove it.
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Apparently there’s only one thing Nancy doesn’t know.

Her limitations:


[YouTube direct link]

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UPDATE: Linked by YouViewed.

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Nuke the News: Obama to Top All Presidents Mustache-wise

* Obama says he probably knows more about Judaism than any other president because he read a book about them and some of his best friends were Jews and he once dissected one. Obama then said he was the strongest president ever and challenged all other presidents to a fight. When George W. Bush accepted, Obama said he had a cold so he’d have to postpone the fight. Then Obama said he was going to grow the BIGGEST MUSTACHE OF ALL PRESIDENTS, one so huge it would make Teddy Roosevelt look like he had a pedostache in comparison. He then said he was going to create the most jobs of any presidents… but then decided against that so he could focus more on the mustache thing.

* A prominent Democrat, Artur Davis, is switching to the Republicans. He had voted against Obamacare, which got him in trouble since black people are not allowed independent thought in the Democrat Party. But now that he’s a Republican, he can have whatever views he wants… as long as they’re not hippie views we’ll punch him for. But we do that to all races because we aren’t stupid racists like the Democrats.

* Mayor Bloomberg is banning large sodas because it’s his job as dictator to make sure his subjects don’t have too many choices to confuse them. Wait, that’s not right; this is America. We don’t have dictators telling us how to run our lives. Does he know what country he’s in? Maybe someone should explain it to him. Or maybe we should pass a law forcing Bloomberg to dress in an elf costume and dance for us. If he protests, we’d whip him and say, “It’s for your own good! Elf dances burn calories!” Hopefully he’d learn his lesson… or at least come up with a really entertaining dance.

* Here’s a new one in asininely raising the specter of racism: Bans on sex-selective abortion are targeting Asians. Really, at this point, liberals should just not be allowed to make a charge of racism. 99% of it’s just utter, partisan nonsense. If a liberal thinks he’s found an instance of racism, he should go tell a conservative, and if the conservative agrees, he’ll tell people about it. If he doesn’t, he’ll punch the liberal for being a hippie. That’s how they learn.

* Some people are petitioning that we have a “do not kill” list. So if your name is on that list, Obama can’t kill you with a drone. I just wish he listened to public input on the kill list. I mean, there’s people I want killed. Can I suggest names?

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Random Thoughts: Focusing Hatred

We’re at the point where all the loyal Democrats are sure they hate Romney but they’re still settling on exactly why.

“Sorry, you’re not going home with a kingdom, but you are getting a year supply of Rice-A-Roni and the Game of Thrones Home Game.”

You can tell a liberal is disingenuously charging racism when they’re charging racism.

I think I might be part Cherokee because my grandfather had high cheekbones and attacked stagecoaches.

“A is not A… it’s an alien impostor!” -if Ayn Rand wrote scifi

Going to create a Kickstarter project to nuke the moon. What will the Lunar X prize pay for that?

What I hate most about Obama’s kill list is that he’s hogging all the choosing who dies. I want to pick some!

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Promoted Comment: Obama’s Son

[High Praise! to BillyRayBob]

From this post on Obama’s list of “Presidential Firsts“:

First President to put his two cents into every news story whenever it involves cops and African Americans.

“If I had a son, he’d look like Causeway Cannibal Rudy Eugene”

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I Might Vote for Obama in 2012 if He Did This

On Face the Nation, after playing a clip of President Obama bragging about his accomplishments, Bob Schieffer actually literally, actually, truly laughed out loud.

Instead of the presidency, maybe Obama should run for host of The Daily Show.

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It’s a New Record!

A Los Angeles photographer filed a police report accusing Justin Bieber of assaulting him.

Jimmy Carter being attacked by a rabbit – no longer the wimpiest thing ever.

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