Alternatives to Reading Dreams From My Father: I’d Rather…

Posted on May 19, 2012 11:05 am

Recently I suggested in an offhand manner that people should read Bill Ayers’ biography Barack Obama’s autobiography, “Dreams From My Father”.

This suggestion has been met with varying degrees of disgust and revulsion. For example:

I can think of a zillion better things to do with my time, including: roll around in a fire ant nest while covered with honey; try to get a BAC over 0.6 and still survive; and try to explain the free market to a group of hippies. – Ernie Loco

TL/DR – Scott

I’d rather set fire to my face and beat it out with a track shoe. – JW

I’m sensing a trend here.

So let’s roll with it

Tell me… what would you rather do than read “Dreams From My Father”?

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34 Responses to “Alternatives to Reading Dreams From My Father: I’d Rather…”

  1. Jeff Gauch says:

    Hillary Clinton.

  2. Geteel says:

    I think Jeff pretty much said it all.

  3. gypsypiney says:

    I’d rather play football in a barbed-wire jock.

  4. blarg says:

    it would appear that if you’re a democrat the answer to that question is “vote for Obama”

  5. Art Van Delay says:

    Getting a prostate exam from a leper already missing some fingers.

    Spending an evening drinking wine and discussing the pros and cons of the equal rights amendment with Rachel Maddow and a couple of her friends, getting roofied and waking up the next morning with no memory of the previous nights events but with a very bad feeling.

  6. Jack says:

    If my testicles were nailed down to a wooden chair, I’d rather do jumping jacks than just sit there and read Dreams from my Father.

  7. Eric Homiller says:

    I would rather hug some snakes. Yes I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes!!! (Now that’s sarcasm)

  8. FormerHostage says:

    Look at pictures of Rosanne Barr and Rosie ODonnel having le$bian $ex in a mud pit.
    (I just threw up a little)

  9. Les says:

    I’ll just wait for the movie — ohp, already been done: Pup Fiction. The Great Catsby, maybe? (fun stuff from Mark Steyn with some Liz Warren digs)

    And his father was a Kenyan finance minister? I think I got some emails from him.

  10. morigu says:

    Stand in the middle of a tornado with debris flying around, wondering how the hell I got here………wait. been there, done that….thought I did see several copies of that book whizzing by into the corn fields….

  11. Choey says:

    I think I’ll go get a few root canals…and hold the Novocaine.

  12. t-dog says:

    Suck blood out of leeches.

    Go down a slide of razor blades into a pool of alcohol.

    Slam my fingers in a door, again and again and again and again and again…(thanks Weird Al!)

    Marry a gremlin.

  13. g says:

    Host a marathon “The View” party

    Cannonball into a deep fat fryer

    Give a Polar Bear a prostate exam

    Praise Jar Jar at a Star Wars convention

  14. DamnCat says:

    Eat a dog.

  15. Nate says:

    What would I rather do?

    Joe Biden.

  16. coldguy says:

    I would rather…

    …go noodling for pirhanna…

    …piss on an electric fence…

    …wipe my ass with a belt sander…

    …than read “Dreams From My Father”.

  17. Dohtimes says:

    Streak past Michelle Obama with my tamale shaped wiener when she is hold a fork and a bottle of tabasco.

  18. zzyzx says:

    I’d rather attend an all night Adam Sandler movie-fest than read “Dreams From My Father”.

  19. Mae Murray says:

    I would rather go on a late night car ride with a Kennedy than read Dreams of my Father.

  20. Mecahawk says:

    Listen to dreams of my father on tape :-/

  21. Rick says:

    Superglue my testicles to a cannon ball and fire myself into a brick wall.

    Be drug face down, feet first behind a diarrihtic elephant with radioactive leprosy.

  22. Mae Murray says:

    I would rather have a girls night in with Janet Reno and Janet Napolitano than read “Dreams of my Father”

  23. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Have unnatural carnal relations with a Sawzall in a Jacuzzi filled with carbolic acid.

  24. ELD says:

    you can do Hillary with my tool if you need it done badly.

    but back on topic: I’d rather do all the yard and gardening work my wife wants done.

  25. tobytylersf says:

    Actually, I read it before the last election, which is why I didn’t vote for the guy. What can I say? Reading his book made me think: this guy’s got some serious issues. And who but the world’s biggest egomaniac writes two autobiographies before he’s 50?

    It wasn’t hard — he uses no big words and his prose is sort of “modern college student level,” i.e., an eight year old could easily read it. If you’re willing to suspend your disbelief that an ivy league educated member of the one percent has an interesting story of overcoming oppression to tell, you can drag yourself through it pretty quickly.

    My question is: why didn’t anybody else read it? They keep coming up with new “revelations” from his best-selling autobiography, which tells me that nobody read the dang thing but me. I think your poll here would be more effective if you asked for excuses FOR reading his book. So far, not many people have found one.

  26. Critter says:

    claw my eyes out with a spork…

    fall into an outhouse just before it is visited by a platoon of Ukranians who have just finished a prune stew…

    sit through another dance recital in which 600 toddlers tap dance to Yellow Rose of Texas…

    abdominal surgery sans anesthesia…

    an audit…

  27. Richard says:

    Go for a car ride with a Kennedy.

    Explain to the Taliban that America is the greatest because we eat bacon and pray to Jesus.

  28. Ben says:

    I’d rather go into space.

    But then I would rather go into space than do anything. And on the off chance that this is some sort of contest and the winner gets his wish, well…

    Wouldn’t you rather get a trip into space than do all these other things that people have thought of?

  29. Mxymaster says:

    If it were the last book on earth, I’d burn it.

  30. zzyzx says:

    Actually, now that I’ve had time to reflect on my (post #18) previous position on this matter, I have to say…I’d rather read Dreams From My Father than watch an all night Adam Sandler movie-fest. Sorry, but there are some things even more horrible than reading this particular book.

  31. William says:

    Drive behind a minivan with a Jesus Fish during rush hour.

  32. Elle T. says:

    I’d rather chew my own leg off with a bad pair of dentures than read Obama’s autobiography. That means I’s have to have all my teeth knocked out first and be fitted with a bad pair of dentures.

  33. rumcrook says:

    I’d rather read the new warren retrospective “my struggles as an indiginous women of color with fire water”

  34. Danny says:

    I’d rather drink a bottle of ipecac, then spew all over the book.

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