Feds Bust on Cute Coffee Girls – 10 More Possible Targets

Posted on May 30, 2012 2:55 pm

[High Praise! to Seanmahair]

They’re from the government, and they’re here to help you.

The EEOC is investigating Marylou’s, a Massachusetts coffee house chain, for hiring only cute young ladies as waitresses and dressing them up in tight pink halter tops.

Nobody complained, you understand, it’s just that some jack-booted EEOC thug saw one of their commercials featuring the aforementioned attractive waitresses, and decided that being both perky and female on film was a crime that needed snooping into.

So who’s next on the list?

I speculate thusly:

“I’m making this white guy head of the CFPB instead of this woman of color.”

1) Wal-Mart – Their logo features a yellow smiley face. Where are the red, white, black, and brown smiley faces?

2) Chippendale’s has yet to hire a dancer in a wheelchair.

3) The Mafia routinely file-13’s applications from anyone with blond hair, an unbroken nose, and a last name that doesn’t end with a vowel.

4) Ever notice that reality-TV talent shows only let you be “the cranky judge” if you’ve got a British accent?

5) I dare you to list all the armless professional soccer players. You’d think they’d be scooping them up by the bushel.

6) “The View” hasn’t offered Justin Bieber a job yet, and he’s 10 times the woman Joy Behar is.

7) Peter Dinklage? The Lakers won’t touch him, even though he’s impossible to guard. WHOOP! Right between your legs!

8) Speaking of basketball, LeBron still hasn’t heard back on that jockey gig. Is it because he’s black?

9) Remember when Bill Clinton went 8 years without hiring a single skinny intern? Not a peep from his EEOC.

10) I also heard about a cheese shop once that didn’t actually have any cheese, but I think that was in England, so having a bouzouki player apparently counted toward that hiring quota. Odd folk, the English.

Of course, at IMAO, we have a strict “No Irish” policy, but that’s not discrimination, that’s just plain common sense.

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15 Responses to “Feds Bust on Cute Coffee Girls – 10 More Possible Targets”

  1. Mxymaster says:

    Oi believe dat would be the “No Oirish” policy, is it not? What about silly Oirish accents?

  2. EdthePastor says:

    I thought it was no drunken Irishmen…

  3. Harvey says:

    Mxymaster – NO IRISH!

    *throws potato*

    Ed – is there any other kind?

  4. DamnCat says:

    It’s all part of Obama’s war on women.

    When are those sexist homophobes on Madison Avenue going to stop putting cute girls in commercials?

  5. Son of Bob says:

    “The EEOC is investigating Marylou’s, a Massachusetts coffee house chain, for hiring only cute young ladies as waitresses and dressing them up in tight pink halter tops.”

    No one ever answers this question for me: So, when a movie company puts out a casting call and insists that the actor must be a hot blonde, or a black guy or a 20-something white guy, or whatever criteria they set up, why is that legal?

  6. mikee says:

    Sure, use the Irish as a cover for your despicable and lamentable lack of hiring the Albanians!

  7. DamnCat says:

    @Son of Bob – we’ll never know if it’s legal or not because Democrat administrations won’t go after Hollywood and Republican administrations aren’t into setting racial quotas.

  8. Guy Manningham says:

    If hiring hot girls is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  9. plentyobailouts says:

    Cute girls in tight pink tops? Oh the humanity!!!

  10. spacemonkey says:

    They should regulated to only hire people that look like Rosie (O’Donald or Barr)

  11. seanmahair says:

    You just dropped in that last comment “we have a strict “No Irish” policy,” for me didn’t you? You darlin” man you.

    May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you’re dead. ; )

  12. Harvey says:

    seanmahair – That’s an Irish name?

    I didn’t know that, since I don’t speak your crazy tater-talk 😛

  13. Jimmy says:

    Watch it, Harvey. We Celts are the fiercest warriors on Earth. And I have a potato gun.

  14. Harvey says:

    Jimmy – The Irish are no threat. They can’t even beat up the British, which America did twice, and even India pulled off once 😛

  15. Jimmy says:

    Yeah, and now they’re broke, too. :-(

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