[High Praise! to Seanmahair]
They’re from the government, and they’re here to help you.
The EEOC is investigating Marylou’s, a Massachusetts coffee house chain, for hiring only cute young ladies as waitresses and dressing them up in tight pink halter tops.
Nobody complained, you understand, it’s just that some jack-booted EEOC thug saw one of their commercials featuring the aforementioned attractive waitresses, and decided that being both perky and female on film was a crime that needed snooping into.
So who’s next on the list?
I speculate thusly:
1) Wal-Mart – Their logo features a yellow smiley face. Where are the red, white, black, and brown smiley faces?
2) Chippendale’s has yet to hire a dancer in a wheelchair.
3) The Mafia routinely file-13’s applications from anyone with blond hair, an unbroken nose, and a last name that doesn’t end with a vowel.
4) Ever notice that reality-TV talent shows only let you be “the cranky judge” if you’ve got a British accent?
5) I dare you to list all the armless professional soccer players. You’d think they’d be scooping them up by the bushel.
6) “The View” hasn’t offered Justin Bieber a job yet, and he’s 10 times the woman Joy Behar is.
7) Peter Dinklage? The Lakers won’t touch him, even though he’s impossible to guard. WHOOP! Right between your legs!
8) Speaking of basketball, LeBron still hasn’t heard back on that jockey gig. Is it because he’s black?
9) Remember when Bill Clinton went 8 years without hiring a single skinny intern? Not a peep from his EEOC.
10) I also heard about a cheese shop once that didn’t actually have any cheese, but I think that was in England, so having a bouzouki player apparently counted toward that hiring quota. Odd folk, the English.
Of course, at IMAO, we have a strict “No Irish” policy, but that’s not discrimination, that’s just plain common sense.