Nuke the News: 99 Versus the Zero

Posted on May 17, 2012 11:00 am

* Looks like we may have another debt ceiling fight. The Republicans want some spending cuts so we can at least pretend we’re one day going to take on all the debt we have, while Obama just wants to spend and spend without any limits. Well, maybe there can be a compromise. Republicans will raise the debt ceiling with the only requirement being that Obama sign a letter stating, “I am not a serious person and have no intentions of righting the American economy and debt and only care about political power. I am a failure as president and as a human being. The reason dogs have been mysteriously disappearing form local neighborhoods is me.” How about that? That at least makes sure we’re all on the same page.

* Obama’s budget failed in the Senate, 99-0, because Obama is a useless, silly person. The Democrats, in fact, didn’t have one vote for any budget as they are all useless, silly people. I guess any rational budget would just highlight what a huge mess they’ve made of things. In fact, Harry Reid’s current plan to deal with things is to go completely senile so everything seems fine. It’s working pretty well, actually.

* Well, this whole Warren Elizabeth “faux-cahontos” thing has become a mummer’s farce. It really looks like she is in fact no parts Cherokee though apparently Harvard claimed the pasty white Warren as their law school’s first woman of color. Liberals are such hypocritical jokes about race. I really think she’s going to have to change her political slogan from its current “Give me back my land, pale-faces!”

* A Super PAC is considering bringing up Jeremiah Wright. Democrats are already freaking out. You can go after Romney on a bullying incident from 50 years ago or how he once treated a dog, but talking about Obama’s crazed racist pastor who was his main spiritual influence is out of bounds. I think a good point with Wright and Bill Ayers is that Obama has a history of being around awful people and keeping silent to help himself politically.

Still, I’m not sure it’s worth focusing on this. Usually you bring up the personal stuff about a candidate to say he’s going to do a bad job when in office. For Obama, the fact that he’s going to do a bad job has now been proven by him unfortunately trying to do the job. We probably should mainly focus on that because the Democrats will love any distraction away from it.

* Bipartisan funny – Governor Chris Christie and Mayor Cory Booker made a video together:

I have to say, Booker is quickly becoming my favorite Democrat.

* So we had movies based on amusement park rides and now, with Battleship, we’re down to movies based on board games. Where do we go down from there? Movies based on elementary concepts?

“I got it — Sand… the Movie! Everyone knows what sand is; it’s got great name recognition.”

My hope is that one day someone at home on his computer will be able to make a movie just as easily as one can write a novel. We’ll have an artistic Renaissance when Hollywood is out of the picture. It’s like what happened to journalism when people like me were able to join in because of the internet — i.e., the most awesome thing ever!

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35 Responses to “Nuke the News: 99 Versus the Zero”

  1. spacemonkey says:

    Next it will be games done with pen and paper.

    Hmm, Wasn’t WarGames based on Tic Tac Toe?

    Coming soon….. Hangman: The Movie. Pick a letter or DIE trying.

  2. DamnCat says:

    Pattycake: The Movie

  3. MarkoMancuso says:

    Fetch – coming to theaters soon! Fido is a loose cannon police dog in a dirty city!

  4. MarkoMancuso says:

    Musical Chairs – coming to theaters soon! Justin Bieber is a loose cannon executioner in a dirty 1930s Southern prison!

  5. Mxymaster says:

    By strange coincidence, the guy playing Rich Uncle Pennybags in Monopoly: The Motion Picture looks just like Mitt…HEY!

  6. Raygan87 says:

    As long as they stay away from nerd games. Could you imagine D&D: The Movie?

  7. Went West says:

    Math games: squaring the circle.

    Previews guy: “One ruler. One compass. An unsolvable problem. Until now. The chase for the solution (“I’ve got it!”), the cover-up (“You can’t tell anyone!”). Now they must escape from the most powerful professors in the world that kept it secret (“Damn it, find him and subtract him!”). This summer. In 3D. (“This problem is killing me!”).

  8. Kristopher says:

    Unrelated, but important:

    http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/10/the-united-states-once-planned-on-nuking-the-moon/

  9. Jimmy says:

    Chess Death Match 3000: Any move could be your last.

  10. MarkoMancuso says:

    Play Dead – the lowest production costs in history!

  11. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    “Coming in July…New Line Cinema proudly presents the latest in cold, still, action adventure for 2012! Duane ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Angelina Jolie star in FREEZE TAG Just TRY and avoid the TOUCH!”

  12. Jimmy says:

    I stumbled onto some W.C. Field quotes that made me laugh:

    “A woman drove me to drink and I never had the courtesy to thank her.”
    “I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.”
    “What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?”
    “I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it’s around the woman’s neck.”
    “I like children. Properly cooked.”

  13. Hammy says:

    We already had a board game movie with Clue. You know, the “homage” (rip-off) of Murder by Death. In all honesty I loved them both, but therapy is helping with that.

  14. Eric Praline says:

    In a world gone mad… you must fight for your life…One. On. One… and survival comes from skill and chance. ROCK PAPER SCISSORS July 2012

  15. plentyobailouts says:

    Go Fish, the movie! Because you just don’t know if they have any fives.

  16. Son of Bob says:

    Pick Up Sticks 2: This time it’s personal.

  17. Buzz Links | I'm a Man! I'm 41! links:

    […] Nuke the News: 99 Versus the Zero […]

  18. spacemonkey says:

    Got Your Nose : Barbara Streisand as Ann “Rhino” Shnozzfeld plays a loose cannon, renegade Jewish cop who’s out for justice, because, this time its personal.

  19. MarkoMancuso says:

    Cowboys and Indians – Director Kevin Costner brings you this story of final justice for the brave Native Americans and Mother Earth!

  20. spacemonkey says:

    CandyLand: Barry H. Obama II,as a renegade, loose cannon Gay POTUS, who’s out for justice, because, every time, it’s personal.

  21. spacemonkey says:

    Chess: Barry H Obama as the renegade, loose cannon, historic, gutsy , yet fabulous Black Queen who makes his/her own rules….out for social justice, because everything, is personal.

  22. CapitalistB says:

    Hungry hungry hippos (now showing on cSpan)

  23. spacemonkey says:

    Hide and Seek: Ollie Ollie Oxenfree, Your’re dead.

  24. spacemonkey says:

    Uno: Si, se puede, no, su es muerto.

  25. Mark H says:

    Watch “Idiocracy”, the most popular movie is “ASS”.

  26. DamnCat says:

    “When you enemy holds all the aces your only hope is…WAR!
    War – The Movie. Your fate is in the cards.”

  27. Went West says:

    Regarding the 99-0 vote I must admit that Obama has brought unity to the senate. That was a truly bipartisan rejection.

  28. Eric Praline says:

    “Aliens and Evil Human Invaders”: Exactly like Cowboys and Indians except ANIMATED and IN 3D!!1!!1!

  29. blarg says:

    I got 99 problems and the rich aint one.

  30. Frank J. says:

    blarg,
    Awesome. I award you High Praise for that.

  31. Critter says:

    Bobby just wants to be left alone on the playground, but Jesse, the school bully just won’t leave him be. They’ll meet, behind the monkey bars, for an epic comfrontation. Only one kid leaves the playground with all the……MARBLES!!!!

    /cue dramatic music/

  32. seanmahair says:

    Chutes and Ladders ………the composite account of the taking of Bin Laden 1, 2, 3….

  33. 4of7 says:

    This quote came from the Czech Republic.
    I think they were quoting me, ’cause I’m pretty sure I said something like this after the 2008 election. (But I probably wasn’t the only one.)

    “The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.

    The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America. Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince.

    The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president.”

  34. raul escobar says:

    They already did Sand… The Movie. But it was called ‘Dune’.

  35. IMAO » Blog Archive » Wisdom of the Day: Problems links:

    […] blarg: I got 99 problems and the rich ain’t one. (No Ratings Yet)  Loading […]

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