* Obama won’t waterboard people. He’ll just put them on kill lists. Isn’t this actually very reassuring? Despite all his unicorns and rainbow rhetoric, Obama is apparently very ruthless on the military side with his drone strikes where he doesn’t really care about collateral damage (any male who is military-aged is assumed to be a combatant unless proven otherwise) and his keeping rendition. He’s like Cheney… if Cheney were more effete and petulant. Still, some Cheney is better than no Cheney.
* Jay Carney tried to explain what’s the difference between what Bain Capital did and what Obama did with Solyndra. Of course, the difference is that with Obama’s green investment, he’s just risking our money, not his own, so he doesn’t care that much about making sure they’re good investments. But Carney gave the best answer he could: He stammered incomprehensibly for a minute. In fact, incomprehensible stammering is probably the best explanation for all of Obama’s policies. Maybe he can even make it a slogan.
“Obama 2012: Because [unintelligible]”
* Romney has now officially cinched the GOP nomination. So if you were one of those silly people still holding out hope for someone else, you can stop now. But it could be worse. I mean, he’s no McCain. Unlike him, Romney seems to really want to be president, so we can expect some fight out of him. And if he fails to defeat Obama, we shall banish him from this land to never be seen again.
* You know Robert Mugabe, murderous dictator? The U.N. has released a statement about him: He’s a leader for tourism!
Ah, the U.N. is so useful and totally not an affront to human decency.
That was sarcasm.
But think of it this way: The more time murderous dictatorships spend working on U.N. silliness, the less people they’re murdering.
The U.N.: We keep murderous dictators busy with useless crap.
* According to a Gallup poll, U.S. adults estimate that about 25% of the population is gay. The actual number is probably around 3%, so why do people think the numbers are so high? Is thinking everyone around you it totally gay a tolerance thing or the opposite? I blame the influence of Obama. We really need to toughen up as a country, because apparently we’re looking pretty gay.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
* There is now a Lunar X prize for landing an unmanned vehicle on the moon. There are also bonus prizes for doing things such as photographing the original Apollo landing sites. I don’t know what kind of bonus you get for exploding a nuke on the moon such that it’s visible from earth, but I’m looking into it and will soon start talking to investors.