* Romney is making a bunch of “day one” promises. Me, I’d make day two promises. Day one is going to be spent making sure my office computer is set up right and has all the programs I need. Then I’ll spend time getting the lay of the building and knowing where the coffee pot is and what are the good places for lunch nearby. But day two, I’ll get to business… but not right in the morning as I kind of like to ease into the day. But day two somewhere around the afternoon America is going to see a lot of change.
* The White House website is now offering financial advice to kids. Who wouldn’t want to learn from those financial geniuses who are somehow able to spend trillions of dollars to noticeable effect?
The advice includes:
– Just spend money on whatever you feel you deserve and not worry about the costs. Money isn’t a real thing anyway.
– Budgets are racist.
– If someone questions you on your huge debt, just blame
the prior administration your parents for it.
The White House has already met with numerous schools to teach its financial advice. There were no survivors.
* A judge is recommending that the U.S. ban the XBox over a patent dispute. Obama needs to tread carefully here if he wants to hold on to his precious youth vote. Michelle will probably want this (“Video games make kids fat and I hate fat kids so much I could vomit!”), but all the youth will hate him for it. If anything, he needs to make it so you can vote from within Liberty City or something as it’s about the only way to get those lazy idiots to the polls. Lazy idiots are the backbone of the Democrat Party, it’s just they don’t vote in large numbers. Because they’re lazy.
* The Great Gatsby is being made into a 3D movie for some reason. I remember reading it in high school and being very bored by it. Of course, these “classic” books they have us read were never aimed at teens, though they’re the ones who always are forced to suffer it. I still have intentions of being a novelist, so should that be my goal: That one day, far in the future, my book will be used to torture kids? Or maybe in the future they’ll have kids study classic video games. I can just seem them getting bored to tears with the original Super Mario Brothers. It doesn’t even have an online component!