Nuke the News: The President Is a Birther

Posted on May 18, 2012 11:00 am

* Man, it’s Friday and I don’t feel like talking about politics. So what have you all been up to that doesn’t involve politics?

Oh. Really? That’s boring. Back to politics!

* Obama apparently used to be a nutty birther. Yep, in his bio for his literary agent, he claimed to have been born in Kenya.

Now, I find birthers to be annoying, so it’s a shock to find out the president is one. We can’t have a nut like that in the presidency; it will make us look like idiots. It’s time for him to go. No one in a position of power should be making such nutty claims. We have two candidates, and one of them, Romney, has consistently said that Obama was born in Hawaii. Let’s elect the sane one.

* Brand new shocking information about Obama found by someone actually reading Obama’s book: Obama liked to drive drunk. What a lot of neat stuff we’re finally finding out about Obama four years after he was elected. Belly full of dog, mind clouded with gin, out loose on the highways. But he got over those rough early years to be a complete disaster as president.

His next memoir should really be written as a comedy.

* Jeremiah Wright claims he was offered money to keep quiet about Obama and…

Weird. I just got a PayPal donation from Obama for… Wow. That’s quite a bit.

Know what. Never mind about this. Let’s go on to the next item.

* Here’s a blogger for Comedy Central whining about how conservatives are overtaking Twitter. If there’s one thing Twitter has taught me, it’s that there are a lot more funny conservatives than liberals. They just don’t have jobs in comedy.

* I know I’ve been making fun of the move Battleship since — you know — it’s a movie based on the board game Battleship, but the director actually seems kind of cool and pro-military. Here’s a funny interview for Israel where he gets on the reporter for not being in the military (language warning). Also, a character in the movie is a disabled veteran who lost both his legs played by an actual disabled veteran who lost both his legs in Iraq — and gets to be part of a cool action scene. I kind of want to see the movie now.

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14 Responses to “Nuke the News: The President Is a Birther”

  1. silverfiddle says:

    I heard John McCain has already come out and told Obama to knock it off…

    “His next memoir should really be written as a comedy.”

    Oh? I thought the first two were? Every time I hear an audio excerpt I bust out laughing.

  2. Burmashave says:

    Belly full of dog, mind clouded with gin, out loose on the highways.

    I used to enjoy pointing out how Obama could not have written Dreams, but now it’s more fun to hang him with the things that Bill Ayers claimed he did.

    At any rate, the experience was a composite of one time when he was driving and a different time when his brain was clouded with gin.

  3. Naked Yahoo says:

    I graduated from West Point with Greg Gadson(the disabled veteran in Battleship) where he played football for Army. He’s an inspiration to so many. Since losing his legs, he has been an honorary team captain for the New York Giants both times they won the Super Bowl and is currently in charge of the Wounded Warrior Project.

  4. eaglewingz says:

    Odd. My mother-in-law, bless her liberal heart, reports no coverage on MSNBC, et. al., of Obama’s bullying in his past.

    “…whenever I split another boy’s lip…”

    Just how many boys did Obama punch in the mouth hard enough to split their lip, exactly?

  5. CrustyB says:

    I get the feeling “Battleship” is about the board game the same way “Rush Hour” was about traffic congestion. Which is a good thing.

  6. Jimmy says:

    What have I been up to?

    Well, Frank, since you asked, I just got done helping drive 3 vehicles, 3 dogs, a cat, a son and a daughter-in-law across the U.S. to the Soviet State of Washington.

    And now, back to politics: flappa blappa!!!

  7. whosebone says:

    well how clever of you to be annoyed by birthers. Most everyone likes mocking us birthers, but when pressed for proof that the bamster was born where his proven fraudulent documents purport to claim he was born they fall silent.
    At some point we will expose our first queer muslim marxist president as the fraud he is, and those that mock us will pretend they knew obama was a fake all along.
    Its not really a matter of WHERE this clown was born anyways, he is the son of a british subject(if in fact the father is who obama claims is the father, although when you look at photos of frank davis or malcolm x the facial similarities are much closer)

  8. Dohtimes says:

    When you try to keep Jeremiah Wright quiet Richard Dreyfuss always pipes in “You’re going to need a bigger boatload of money. You need QEIII to stop those jaws.”

  9. KnitterChick says:

    I love how everytime I click on a link to yet more lefty whining, Jim Treacher is there shoving it even further down there whiny little throats.

    I’ve been busy homeschooling my kids, thanks for asking. Buttercup needs to hurry up and get older so I can boss you guys, ….er, I mean HELP you guys.

  10. IMAO » Blog Archive » 11 More Dark Obama Secrets From “Dreams From My Father” links:

    [...] ate a dog, he slept with composite women (who totally existed!), he loved driving drunk, and he used to bully kids by punching them in the [...]

  11. MarkoMancuso says:

    So, Barack Obama used to be country singer George Jones? Fighting, drunk, coked up, has to have his material written by others, yeah, it’s all coming together.

    Only George Jones is actually good at doing at least one thing: singing.

  12. Harvey says:

    Marko – Oh come on… haven’t you heard Barack doing Al Green?

  13. Fly says:

    Peter Berg also did the TV series Friday Night Lights which was awesome. Sometimes he tries a little too hard to be clever and unique and twisty, but he seems like a good guy.

  14. Mxymaster says:

    Hey, Naked Yahoo, if you see Greg again tell him the IMAO Moon Nukers say thanks. (And us Giants fans too.) WWP is a great outfit and I’m pround to be a donor.

    I don’t know if I can see the movie, though. The game was supposed to be a naval battle between two evenly-matched terrestrial powers. Of course, if Liam gets to shout, “RELEASE THE GIANT RED PEG!” that would be pretty cool.

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