15 Fun Facts About Father’s Day
Time once again to honor fathers everywhere and celebrate fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society.
Since you’re probably not familiar with the holiday, allow me to enlighten you:
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1) Father’s Day was invented in 1909 by Sonora Dodd who got the idea while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon, during which she realized that that her own father – a widower farmer left alone to raise his six kids – deserved more crappy neckties.
2) There are an estimated 70 million fathers in the United States, all of whom own single-handled ceramic proof that they are the country’s #1 Dad.
3) The first presidential proclamation honoring fathers was issued in 1966 when President Lyndon Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day, figuring if he couldn’t get away to play golf, why should anyone else?
4) Father’s Day in America has been officially celebrated annually since 1972 when President Richard Nixon signed the public law that made it permanent, which explains the traditional “Father’s Day 18 Minutes of Silence.”
5) Worst Father’s Day gift ever: watching your son get Force Lightninged by your boss.
6) The most popular Internet search connected to the day is “Father’s Day crafts,” which, surprisingly, is the only Google image search that will not return pictures of frolicking lesbians.
7) The official Father’s Day flower is the rose, which most men consider the perfect gift as long as it’s sticking out of the chuck of a DeWalt cordless drill.
8) In Australia, Father’s Day is celebrated on the first Sunday in September. Traditionally, Australian fathers spend the day killing crocodiles with their bare hands. Much like every day in Australia.
9) Nearly 95 million Father’s Day cards were given last year in the United States, making Father’s Day the fourth-largest card-sending occasion. All theses card together could fill a 1-acre hole that’s 100 feet deep. The Monday after Father’s Day, they usually do.
10) Sons and daughters send 50% of the Father’s Day cards. 30% are purchased by wives for their husbands. The other 20% are handed to unsuspecting men by women during a pause after they’ve just said “Guess what?”
11) Scientific research proves that the best gift for Father’s Day is to buy Dad a bucket of golf balls. Then dump out the golf balls and fill the bucket with steak.
12) Aftershave is a very popular Father’s Day gift. Look for the kind with the little ship on the bottle that says “Cutty Sark.”
13) There are more collect calls on Father’s Day than any other day of the year. Usually from fathers who got too drunk at a strip club and need bail money.
14) Hallmark produces over 800 card designs for Father’s Day, none of which will bring your father the same joy as receiving a subscription to Playboy, since Hallmark Cards lack insightful articles.
15) Although some people say it’s hard to find the perfect Father’s Day gift, you’ll be safe if your gift either runs on electricity, burns, or explodes. Try not to combine these.
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Why are you still reading this? Go fetch the old man a beer, already.
Sheesh. You are SUCH a disappointment.
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June 17th, 2012 at 11:10 am
Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads/Granddads/ Stepdads/ Uncles/ Cousins/Friends and Potential Dads who frequent IMAO. Knowing what’s right and practicing it is the most important gift you can give the young people in your lives. Being “that guy” as a role model is one of the best ways to save the Republic. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
June 17th, 2012 at 11:48 am
There was a prison that offered the prisoners free Mother’s Day cards to send to their mothers. All the cards were picked up and filled out. They put out Father’s Day cards and not one prisoner came to get one. If you don’t think fathers are important or necessary for raising a good child, think again.
June 17th, 2012 at 12:38 pm
There’s an odd feminist theory that it’s a woman’s role to “civilize” men.
Turns out that’s actually the job of older men – to break the hotheaded, overwrought spirits of the young to the point where they can at least act courteous in public.
And how to stand up to women who want to “civilize” them.
June 17th, 2012 at 12:59 pm
Fact: Back when people actually had to pay for long distance calls, Father’s Day was the day of the year that had the most collect calls.
June 17th, 2012 at 9:22 pm
Got my Father’s Day calls from those kids that I’m aware off
June 17th, 2012 at 10:21 pm
15) Although some people say it’s hard to find the perfect Father’s Day gift, you’ll be safe if your gift either runs on electricity, burns, or explodes. Try not to combine these.
So that’s a no on the Chevy Volt then?
June 17th, 2012 at 11:40 pm
Eric – *high five*
June 21st, 2012 at 10:02 pm
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