I was thinking since I’m like a professional writer now whose columns are widely read and has books out by important publishers, I should start giving out writing advice as that would really inflate my ego.
Anyway, my first bit of advice is on getting the right conditions for writing. Now, you need a nice quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. My favorite place is the nearby Starbucks.
Now, yes, that place isn’t always quiet, which is why you have to let people know you’re writing so they’ll be respectful. For instance, anytime someone starts getting loud there, I just yell out, “Quiet! I’m busy writing an article for a major newspaper!” I often have to yell that out many times. And other times people will try to talk to each other and I’ll have to say, “Now, what’s more important here? You’re silly little conversation or my article which will be read by like a million people? Come on!”
It also helps to be writing on a laptop with a glowing Apple logo so people are well aware you’re a creative person. And you should also have a creative type hat like a beret — preferably one that says “IMPORTANT WRITER” on it — so people know you’re an intellectual who needs his quiet. And even if everyone is leaving you alone, sometimes you still want to yell out, “Hugely creative writing going on here!” every so often so people continue to give you your space.
And if you ever get kicked out of a Starbucks, there’s always another one nearby.