New Additions to the Democrat Party Platform
The Democrats are going to reportedly add gay marriage to their party platform. But that’s not the only new addition. Here are some others:
NEW ADDITIONS TO THE DEMOCRAT PARTY PLATFORM
* Foodstamps are way better than jobs.
* The part about free exercise of religion in the First Amendment should be replaced with free contraception.
* It is wrong to be rich unless you’re a rich person who constantly goes on about how wrong being rich is.
* If your skin color is past a certain shade of brown, it should be illegal to vote Republican.
* The deficit is an imaginary concept and should be ignored.
* We need to take those arrogant business creators who think they built stuff down a peg or two.
* Obamacare is so great there’s no reason to ever mention it again.
* Budgets are fascist.
* 8% unemployment is really good and whoever claims it’s ever been lower is a liar.
* We’re only a few more taxes on the rich away from a booming economy.
* We love those… um… automated bullet firing devices — what are they called? Oh yeah: guns. So stop saying we want to take them away.
* Eating a dog doesn’t make you a sociopath.
* Gay divorce.
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July 31st, 2012 at 1:07 pm
The only thing the Dems need to add to their platform is a trap door like the one Sadam went through!
July 31st, 2012 at 1:17 pm
The deficit is an imaginary concept and should be ignored…along with the debt celing. There fixed it for you.
July 31st, 2012 at 1:20 pm
* Free Federal Abortion Kiosks in shopping malls right next to free Food Stamp and Condom Dispensers.
* Negative interest rates on mortgages financed with Federal funds!
* Banks and Wall Street automatically and permanently pardoned from any wrong doing.
* Criticizing Islam, the President or the Democrat Party is felonious HATE SPEECH!
July 31st, 2012 at 1:44 pm
* Put those Jooooos in their place
* Never visit Israel (Jews live there)
July 31st, 2012 at 2:29 pm
* Isn’t a middle-aged man having forced sex with a child really all about love?
* Women shouldn’t have to make a choice to abort their babies, Mayor Bloomberg should make the choice for them, relieving them of the burden.
* It’s ridiculous to expect liberal politicians to be able to make the world a better place when you put them under the constraints of the Constitution.
* Sexual harassment is a very bad thing, unless the guy doing the “harassing” is someone cool…like a senator, congressman, or maybe even a president.
July 31st, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Great list.
Is it true Obama is planning a Choom Gang reunion during the convention?
July 31st, 2012 at 2:39 pm
“8% unemployment is really good and whoever claims it’s ever been lower is a
liarracist!” Fixed it for you!Obamacare is so great there’s no reason to ever mention it again. Or we will feed your dog to our candidate.
“It is wrong to be rich unless you’re a rich person who constantly goes on about how wrong being rich is” and you donate generously to our campaigns. Fixed that for you too!
The American
peasantsare to be seen and not heard. But they should be herd!July 31st, 2012 at 3:18 pm
1/32 is good enough!
July 31st, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Free choom for everyone!
July 31st, 2012 at 3:31 pm
* The right of men to have babies. -Even though they can’t actually have them (through no fault of their own), they still have the right.
July 31st, 2012 at 4:00 pm
Citizenship is like Tinker Bell and marriage to whatever you want. If you believe hard enough, it’s true!
July 31st, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Democrat party official song: Someday My Tax Will Come.
July 31st, 2012 at 5:13 pm
Democrat Party official song: “I’ll be seeing you in all the familiar places.”
July 31st, 2012 at 5:28 pm
SoBob, c’mon, man! That’s not rape-rape! Just ask Whoopi. It’s okay, no matter what sex the child is…as long as the rapist is a Democrat and the child has Republican parents.
July 31st, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Shovel ready jobs, in cemeteries for the units who won’t get care under Obamacare.