The Democrats are going to reportedly add gay marriage to their party platform. But that’s not the only new addition. Here are some others:
NEW ADDITIONS TO THE DEMOCRAT PARTY PLATFORM
* Foodstamps are way better than jobs.
* The part about free exercise of religion in the First Amendment should be replaced with free contraception.
* It is wrong to be rich unless you’re a rich person who constantly goes on about how wrong being rich is.
* If your skin color is past a certain shade of brown, it should be illegal to vote Republican.
* The deficit is an imaginary concept and should be ignored.
* We need to take those arrogant business creators who think they built stuff down a peg or two.
* Obamacare is so great there’s no reason to ever mention it again.
* Budgets are fascist.
* 8% unemployment is really good and whoever claims it’s ever been lower is a liar.
* We’re only a few more taxes on the rich away from a booming economy.
* We love those… um… automated bullet firing devices — what are they called? Oh yeah: guns. So stop saying we want to take them away.
* Eating a dog doesn’t make you a sociopath.
* Gay divorce.