How to Make a Bacon-Crust Pizza – No Dough, Just Freakin’ Bacon!

[High Praise! to thefreerangehuman]

Click here for assembly and cooking instructions.

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Interview with Gaster Lumber (of “Obama Can Kiss My Ass” Fame)

[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]

Remember this picture?

BigFurHat of iOwnTheWorld called the store & chatted with a couple folks about their awesome, awesome sign.


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #8)

UPDATE: Gaster was interviewed by Fox News

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Star Wars Biker Jacket

[via Technabob (NSFW)]

They’d be great for the Moon Nukers to team up with, just in case that small moon we’re trying to nuke turns out to be a space station.

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The “Robber Getting Hit With an Aluminum Bat” Ringtone

Thanks to my Blogless Brother [High Praise!], who isolated that “sound of justice” clip from the 911 call and turned it into an mp3:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

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UPDATE: Linked by Guns & Ammo

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I’ll Bet David Axelrod Says This ALL the Time

[Via Sherman’s Lagoon]

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Proof That Bacon = Art

Van Gogh’s Starry Night:

Bacon’s Greasy Night:

[Via Very Demotivational]

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“God Bless You Chick-fil-A” Song (“God Bless the USA” Parody)

[High Praise! to Beth]


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #16,647)

Amazingly, this was from way back in March of this year, LONG before fascist liberal mayors stupidly conspired to make Chik-fil-A a martyred saint to the Tea Party and freedom-loving Americans everywhere.

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The worst thing happened to Obama on the golf course…“.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Link of the Day: 2 Years Of Obama Gaffes in One Paragraph

[High Praise! to Leading Malaysian Neocon]

The Words of the Teleprompter Messiah

This was originally posted almost exactly 2 years ago. It’s interesting to discover how many of these you still remember.

Also interesting: realizing that if a Republican had said these, the media would never let you forget ANY of them.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wisdom of the Day: Fundamentalist Weasel Economist Sandwich

From David Burge:

If the Chick fil-A guy is the religious fundamentalist, why do his opponents seem like the ayatollahs?

From Mark Cassill:

If you have “NoH8” in your avatar I’m going to presume you to be a hateful little weasel until proven otherwise. That is all.

From Eli Lake:

New slogan for the Economist: It’s the Economist, Stupid.

From Moltz:

It gets better. Unless you want a chicken sandwich.

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Harry Reid Accused of Piloting UFO Around DC Area

WASHINGTON (AP) – After numerous UFO sightings in the DC area last June, spokesmen from the Patuxent Naval Air Station revealed that it was actually just an experimental drone aircraft. Although the Navy claims that the X-47B is flown completely by its computer and has no personnel aboard, a quick search of the internet by ABC’s Brian Ross proved the military’s cover story to be false.

“No evidence to suggest Harry Reid disembarked his UFO long enough to meet with Obama and inappropriately touch young people.”

“There’s a ‘Hairy Reed’ of Washington DC, page on Twitter,” said Ross, “and there’s a tweet here talking about him flying a UFO. Now, we don’t know if this is the same Harry Reid. But it’s Harry Reid of Washington, DC. This might be significant.”

As further evidence, the Washington Post cited “a phone call from some guy who once read cowboy poetry,” but declined to identify him. He was, however, quoted as saying, “Harry Reid! He’s in the sky! He’s everywhere! HE’S EVERYWHERE!”

The Washington Post’s Ed O’Keefe said the conclusion was “obvious”.

“The responsibility of the media is to report stories no matter what they’re based on, for example truth, or rumors, or the loudest of my little head-voices. And based on the deranged rantings of an anonymous lunatic, we must assume that Harry Reid is a space alien bent on global destruction who does strafing runs over the DC area for kicks.”

“Also,” concluded O’Keefe, “according to a recent Twitter hashtag, Reid may also be a pederast. Now we don’t know if it’s the same Harry Reid, but this might be significant.”

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What’s the Best Movie Ever?

So somehow Vertigo got named the best movie of all time. I watched it a while ago, but barely remember any of it. I liked it okay, but it just didn’t super impress and I have no idea how it got named the best movie ever.

So what do you think is the best movie of all time. Citizen Kane — the traditional best movie ever — is actually kind of blah to me, but Casablanca always impressed. Though that’s certainly not as good as Die Hard. And I like The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly a lot. But, if I have to pick one, I have to go with Princess Bride as the best move ever.

What say you?

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Like a Lava Lamp for Non-Hippies

Guaranteed to take the edge off the day.

Slow motion fire-breathing:


[Vimeo direct link]

Exit question: is this really an occupation where you want to be sporting fancy facial hair?

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8 Possible Plot Lines for the Third Hobbit Movie

So The Hobbit — which is shorter than any of the individual Lord of the Rings books — was already going to be made into two movies, but Peter Jackson recently announced that there is also going to be a third hobbit movie. So what in the world is that going to be about?

POSSIBLE PLOT LINES FOR THE THIRD HOBBIT MOVIE

* A pipe-weed fueled adventure through Mordor seeking the legendary Castle of White.

* The origin story of Michael Bloomberg.

* Basically just a remake of Willow.

* Hobbits… in space!

* The Lollipop Guild has gone rogue and only Bilbo can stop them.

* Hobbit 3: The Search for Tom Bombadil

* A nature documentary on oliphants narrated by Morgan Freeman.

* A darker grittier reboot of the first hobbit movie.

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Straight Line of the Day: Someone Held Up a Sign at an Obama Speech…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Someone held up a sign at an Obama speech…

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UPDATE: Linked by Surviving College as a Conservative

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