Click here for assembly and cooking instructions.
[Via Sherman’s Lagoon]
Van Gogh’s Starry Night:
Bacon’s Greasy Night:
[Via Very Demotivational]
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The worst thing happened to Obama on the golf course…“.
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
This was originally posted almost exactly 2 years ago. It’s interesting to discover how many of these you still remember.
Also interesting: realizing that if a Republican had said these, the media would never let you forget ANY of them.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
From David Burge:
If the Chick fil-A guy is the religious fundamentalist, why do his opponents seem like the ayatollahs?
From Mark Cassill:
If you have “NoH8” in your avatar I’m going to presume you to be a hateful little weasel until proven otherwise. That is all.
From Eli Lake:
New slogan for the Economist: It’s the Economist, Stupid.
It gets better. Unless you want a chicken sandwich.
WASHINGTON (AP) – After numerous UFO sightings in the DC area last June, spokesmen from the Patuxent Naval Air Station revealed that it was actually just an experimental drone aircraft. Although the Navy claims that the X-47B is flown completely by its computer and has no personnel aboard, a quick search of the internet by ABC’s Brian Ross proved the military’s cover story to be false.
“There’s a ‘Hairy Reed’ of Washington DC, page on Twitter,” said Ross, “and there’s a tweet here talking about him flying a UFO. Now, we don’t know if this is the same Harry Reid. But it’s Harry Reid of Washington, DC. This might be significant.”
As further evidence, the Washington Post cited “a phone call from some guy who once read cowboy poetry,” but declined to identify him. He was, however, quoted as saying, “Harry Reid! He’s in the sky! He’s everywhere! HE’S EVERYWHERE!”
The Washington Post’s Ed O’Keefe said the conclusion was “obvious”.
“The responsibility of the media is to report stories no matter what they’re based on, for example truth, or rumors, or the loudest of my little head-voices. And based on the deranged rantings of an anonymous lunatic, we must assume that Harry Reid is a space alien bent on global destruction who does strafing runs over the DC area for kicks.”
“Also,” concluded O’Keefe, “according to a recent Twitter hashtag, Reid may also be a pederast. Now we don’t know if it’s the same Harry Reid, but this might be significant.”
So somehow Vertigo got named the best movie of all time. I watched it a while ago, but barely remember any of it. I liked it okay, but it just didn’t super impress and I have no idea how it got named the best movie ever.
So what do you think is the best movie of all time. Citizen Kane — the traditional best movie ever — is actually kind of blah to me, but Casablanca always impressed. Though that’s certainly not as good as Die Hard. And I like The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly a lot. But, if I have to pick one, I have to go with Princess Bride as the best move ever.
What say you?
Guaranteed to take the edge off the day.
Slow motion fire-breathing:
Exit question: is this really an occupation where you want to be sporting fancy facial hair?
So The Hobbit — which is shorter than any of the individual Lord of the Rings books — was already going to be made into two movies, but Peter Jackson recently announced that there is also going to be a third hobbit movie. So what in the world is that going to be about?
POSSIBLE PLOT LINES FOR THE THIRD HOBBIT MOVIE
* A pipe-weed fueled adventure through Mordor seeking the legendary Castle of White.
* The origin story of Michael Bloomberg.
* Basically just a remake of Willow.
* Hobbits… in space!
* The Lollipop Guild has gone rogue and only Bilbo can stop them.
* Hobbit 3: The Search for Tom Bombadil
* A nature documentary on oliphants narrated by Morgan Freeman.
* A darker grittier reboot of the first hobbit movie.
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Someone held up a sign at an Obama speech…
UPDATE: Linked by Surviving College as a Conservative