Parody Video: The Conservative Lorax

[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]


[CollegeHumor direct link]

Not a perfect parody for making the free-market case, but a damn sight better than the original bucket of environmentalist twaddle that it’s parodying.

Well worth a watch.

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The Chik-fil-A Controversy Explained in One Simple Picture

[High Praise! to The Gormogons]

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UPDATE: Linked by Doug Ross

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Words You Can’t Say Without Being Racist: “Monday”

[High Praise! to Tongue Tied]

True story. Someone got in trouble for including a day of the week while discussing a black man.

Why?

The word can be used as a derogatory term for blacks, and is often associated with Mondays being one of the most-hated days of the week, such as in the common phrase, “I hate Mondays.”

No, no, no – it’s a dog-whistle word for get lunatics to commit mass shootings. Don’t these people know their Boomtown Rats?

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Caption this!

My buddy, Mad Max, so wants to caption this picture of the president. So, I thought I’d offer him the opportunity. But, I decided to make it a challenge by opening it up to everyone here.

Caption this!
[From Drudge Report]

Keep it clean. Mostly clean, at least. And the best caption wins … HIGH PRAISE!

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Pimp My Ride: Unconcealed Carry Edition

[High Praise! to Grandpa John]

Sadly, neither I nor Grandpa John have any info on the source of this picture. If you possess knowledge on the topic, please drop it in the comments.

Otherwise, just comment on how awesome this thing is.

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Link of the Day: Parody – The House That Obama Built

[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]

The House That Obama Built: Picture Book

A spot-on Obama-based parody of the nursery rhyme “The House That Jack Built“.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Someone held up a sign at an Obama speech…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Also, Keln’s announced the Punchline Nuker of the Week.

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Wisdom of the Day: Economy Pool Gandhi Starbucks Pederast

From Kensington:

We’re concerned about growing the economy; they’re obsessed with raising taxes on “rich” people.

From Tina Stull:

Having smoking and non-smoking sections in the same room is like having urinating and non-urinating sections in a swimming pool.

From David Burge:

Sewing a rainbow flag onto your brown shirt does not make you Gandhi.

From Joshua Malina:

I like to stand in the middle of Starbucks shrieking at Siri to find a closer one.

From Ace of Spades:

The issue here isn’t whether Harry Reid is, or isn’t, or is a pederast. The question is only “What are we going to do about it?”

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First Rule of Winning a Knife Fight – Bring a Gun

[High Praise! to T-dog]


[ABC direct link]

This story is from back in April, but it’s probably new to you, since it doesn’t fit the narrative:

A citizen with a gun stopped a knife wielding man as he began stabbing people Thursday evening at the downtown Salt Lake City Smith’s store.

Police say the suspect purchased a knife inside the store and then turned it into a weapon. Smith’s employee Dorothy Espinoza says, “He pulled it out and stood outside the Smiths in the foyer. And just started stabbing people and yelling you killed my people. You killed my people.”

Espinoza says, the knife wielding man seriously injured two people. “There is blood all over. One got stabbed in the stomach and got stabbed in the head and held his hands and got stabbed all over the arms.”

Then, before the suspect could find another victim – a citizen with a gun stopped the madness. “A guy pulled gun on him and told him to drop his weapon or he would shoot him. So, he dropped his weapon and the people from Smith’s grabbed him.”

I suppose this could also have been prevented if only the store had posted a “No Stabbing” sign, but I guess we’ll never know.

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Muslim Loophole on Homosexuality

Are you a Muslim and are wondering if there’s a loophole on that whole prohibition of sodomy, a cleric has good news for you: Sodomy is okay if it’s for the purpose of making room to put a bomb in your butt for martyrdom.

Do these people ever just stop and look at themselves sodomizing each other for the purpose of murder and say, “Wow, we’re not just evil — we’re cartoonishly evil.”? I guess it’s just one of those cultural differences Romney was talking about.

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The Green Toilet for Flushing Money

So some pretty damning emails have come out about Solyndra. To me, the most notable one is where a Solyndra investor wrote to Obama’s economic adviser, “I can’t imagine it’s a good way for the government to use taxpayer money.” So this is a guy who will personally benefit from the $580 million investment, and he still thinks its and idiotic waste of taxpayer funds.

Obama has tried to attack Romney over Bain, but that was about people investing their own money so they were actually careful about it. With Solyndra, we had Obama just throwing away money because it wasn’t his — it was just ours — so who cares? And that’s why it’s a really bad idea for the government to try and build that.

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Straight Line of the Day: The Obama Campaign’s Fundraising Emails Keep Getting Weirder…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The Obama campaign’s fundraising emails keep getting weirder…

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A Suggestion to Obama for Bold Action on the Economy

Unemployment is up to 8.3%. Nancy Pelosi has hailed this as a “small step in the right direction.” That makes me think of a pirate talking to a guy hesitantly walking off a plank.

Obama needs some bold action to get the economy moving again. The best idea would be him to lead a visit to a coal mine with all the Democrat leaders and then get trapped down there for a few months. It would really help the private sector to know that all the main Democrats are trapped in a mine and thus won’t be bothering them for some time.

Outside of getting trapped in a mine, I’m not sure what else Obama could do within his ability that would be helpful. Fetch business creators coffee, maybe?

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Romney Picks Chik-fil-A Cow As VP

[High Praise! to SooperMexican]

Minor correction: “SHE’LL be the first…”

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Random Thoughts: The Left and the Hate They Find in the Mirror

Aww. Buttercup made a little house out of block and then Obama yelled, “You didn’t build that!”, knocked it over and left her crying.

Maybe it was me in an Obama mask. Whatever it was, it was a good lesson for her.

Do you know we pay Obama $400,000 a year for this crap? I bet we could find an illegal who will ruin our country for less than minimum wage.

Burden of proof on the accused, taxes are voluntary — where did Nevada find the great American thinker that is Harry Reid?

Some left-wingers went to Chick-fil-A and detected a lot of hate. That’s called introspection.

If an Olympic athlete was involved in a homicide, can we tell that now or do we have to wait until NBC breaks the news on a tape delay?

I still have no idea who Gore Vidal was beyond someone William F. Buckley once yelled at.

I’m confused: Is Harry Reid making evidence free charges against Romney to distract against Obama’s failures or to distract from Reid’s own history of pederasty?

Boycott and protest all you want, but if you get government involved against speech you don’t like, you’re a fascist and I’ll punch you.

Remember: It’s only as low as 8.3% unemployment if you give Obama credit for discouraging so many people from the workforce.

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UPDATE: Linked by Darth Chipmunk

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