Look! It’s Obama’s New American Flag!

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

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Hate Speech! Maine Gunsmith Says Mean Things About Liberals

[High Praise! to Moonbattery]

Looks pretty real to me. Google Street View shows a letterboard sign under the business sign, but the message is different (although too far from the camera to be legible).

Can anyone in Maine confirm?

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The Horrifying Context of “You Didn’t Build That”

Quoted in a piece by Oleg Atbashian at PJ Media:

We scientists say that in order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first build the universe – and that takes about four billion years. But that doesn’t mean we can’t build anything new from existing resources. So telling a businessman “you didn’t build that” is pure sophistry. Such phrases have always been a preamble to looting. Coming from the president, it’s chilling.

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New Ads!

There are now new ads at IMAO! Why? Because Buttercup’s tiara has gotten dingy and she needs a new one. And also:

More Money = More Blogging

So anytime you see new ads at IMAO you can celebrate because that means your favorite IMAO bloggers have even more incentive to do great blog posts.

Still, for anyone upset with the change, for a limited time a year’s subscription to IMAO will be half off.

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Say, Remember Those Chemical Weapons Saddam Hussein Didn’t Have?

The Brits are helping to clean them up:

BAGHDAD (AP) – Britain will help the Iraqi government dispose of what’s left of deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein’s chemical weapons, still stored in two bunkers in north of Baghdad, the British embassy in Baghdad announced Monday.

The British Defense Ministry will start training Iraqi technical and medical workers this year, an embassy statement said. The teams will work to safely destroy remnants of munitions and chemical warfare agents left over from Saddam’s regime. He was overthrown in 2003 following an American-led invasion.

So… what are the chances we’ll get an apology from the liberal media?

Well.

That answers THAT question.

_______________

UPDATE: Linked by Doug Ross

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The Obama campaign’s fundraising emails keep getting weirder…“.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Link of the Day: Liberal Supervillans

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

Liberal Supervillains

For a few of them the “super” part may technically not apply, but that didn’t bother me one bit. Excellent concept, excellently executed.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Harry Reid REALLY Needs to Get Those Pederasty Rumors Under Control

[High Praise! to Ogrrre]

The People’s Cube shares this headline:

Harry Reid Fathers Two Illegitimate Werewolf Cubs with Underage OWS Girl

Shocking.

I can’t believe they scooped the Enquirer on this one. They’re usually right on top of stories about politicians with secret families.

Anyway, those pictures are MUST SEE. The twins are adorable.

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Wisdom of the Day: Beer Intestines Context Math

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Why Obama’s Birth Certificate Never Mattered

[High Praise! to The Political Commentator]

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The 12 Missions of the Curiosity Mars Rover

NASA had landed a nuclear Mars rover — on Mars! It’s named Curiosity and will do a number of missions there.

* Take photos of Mars’s surface, add retro filters, and post to Instagram.

* Seek out suitable area to build a Mars colony in case people need to flee Earth after the size of national debt renders it uninhabitable.

* Get Olympic medal for Mars landing.

* Seek out Mars civilization and then contact the Martian life and tell them, “You didn’t build that.”

* Take soil samples and use spectrum analysis them to confirm that the soil is indeed red.

* Quote lines from the original Total Recall movie.

* Kill cats.

* Get gay married (legal on Mars).

* Check for signs of life. If found, kill it.

* Dispose of unwatched copies of John Carter.

* Check the Verizon coverage map.

* Stare at rocks for hours on end.

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Straight Line of the Day: Nancy Pelosi’s Looking Better These Days…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Nancy Pelosi’s looking better these days…

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Treading Water Costs $5 Trillion

Good news, everyone! Obama is close to breaking even on jobs! Of course, because of population increases, that means an even higher unemployment than the beginning of his term, but still that’s a great accomplishment. I mean you remember his promise back in 2008:

“If you elect me president, I will maintain the amount of jobs we have now — there abouts, at least. At the end of my first term, we will have this many jobs as we have now — and no more — and it should only take me about $5 trillion more in debt to accomplish this. Who is with me? Hope and change! Actually, I guess no change in amount of jobs, but change in debt. And I don’t know why you’d be hopeful about that. Anyway, look at that Palin; she’s crazy.”

So will Obama be able to maintain this amount of jobs for another four years? We only need to reelect him and spend maybe like $8 trillion to find out.

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Random Thoughts: Bible Criticism

Has Harry Reid provided any evidence he’s not senile? There’s plenty of credible evidence to the contrary.

I really hope the Senate does an investigation to clear Harry Reid of these pederast charges. He shouldn’t have that hanging over him.

To the people who’ve seen the future and know that gay marriage is inevitable: We still stave off the metric system, right?

I hadn’t played around with the auction option on Diablo III until recently, and it really changes the balance of the game. I’m still on the first difficulty, but now I’m flush with gold and more powerful items.

The first rule of holes is “When you’re in one, stop digging”? I thought it was “Don’t talk about holes.”

When did Christians become this exotic thing in America that scare and confuse so many people?

90% of biblical criticism I’ve seen amounts to “Here’s a couple crazy sounding things from Deuteronomy. Don’t listen to any of the Bible.”

It’s good we have people who want to mock Christians finding stuff in the Bible, because apparently no one else has ever studied it.

Might actually be a market for a Bible that instead of putting Jesus’s words in red, highlights the stuff most mock worthy.

Of course, out of context scripture quoting appears in the Bible, but not by someone whose example you’re supposed to follow.

You’re pretty unlikely to find something in the Bible Christians aren’t already aware of. They read that thing religiously.

Clint Eastwood endorsed Romney and then brandished a shotgun while growling, “Get off my lawn!” So, average Republican.

If you accidentally put a racist rant on the internet, blame autocorrect.

Clint Eastwood endorsed Romney, but is he for gay marriage? He’d have a great line for that: “Go ahead. Make my gay (marriage).”

How old does Buttercup have to be before we hire a one-armed man to teach her lessons? “And that’s why you don’t throw food on the ground!”

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Liberal Suggests Fixing Obama Campaign Slogan

Obama adviser Austan Goolsbee says he doesn’t like the campaign’s “Forward.” slogan, because the period at the end connotes “now stop.”

I agree. Drop the word “Forward”.

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