The Most Uninformative Obama Campaign Commercial Yet

In a new video, President Obama demonstrated how to donate to his campaign online.

It was weird because he totally skipped over the part where you type in a fake name and somebody else’s credit card number

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Things Mitt Romney Has Never Done

It’s a Twitter hashtag that the libs started in order to bash Romney.

Yeah, it got hijacked.

The Virginian lists 8, here’s the first 3:

1) Canceled three “kill orders” on Bin Laden. #ThingsMittRomneyHasNeverDone
2) Sneered “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.” #ThingsMittRomneyHasNeverDone
3) Sneered that our energy problems would be solved, if only we had the brains to inflate our tires and get tune-ups. #ThingsMittRomneyHasNeverDone

The pace has slowed, but the back & forth is still going on sporadically. #ThingsMittRomneyHasNeverDone

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Video: Deconstructed – What “The Rich Paying Their Fair Share” Means

[High Praise! to The Real Revo]

The money-quote starts up in earnest around 1:07, but there’s a cute part earlier on about hypersensitivity to sexism that you’ll probably enjoy, too, so probably just watch the whole thing:


[YouTube direct link](Viewer #23,903)

I gather this episode was from 2000. I never watched the show, so I’ll just roll with that date.

Revo’s commentary says it best:

So basically, if we get in the Wayback Machine all the way to the very distant year 2000–a lifetime ago–Democrats did not necessarily want to fleece the hell out of the rich. They did not necessarily take class warfare to 11 on the dial. They were not necessarily full-blown Marxists.

In fact, one might surmise that even as recently as 2000, the wisest Democrats (as the protagonists in the West Wing were meant to depict) avoided such divisive rhetoric like the plague. In other words, Democrats of 15 years ago would probably balk at the crap being pulled by the current administration (and its compatriots).

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Link of the Day: Transcript of Harry Reid’s Call With Mysterious Bain Insider

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

HARRY REID PHONE TRANSCRIPTS REVEALED

Can’t really excerpt it without spoilers, so just go read.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Nancy Pelosi’s looking better these days…“.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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lolbama! Part 96

Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From me (Harvey):

[reference link]

From me (Harvey):

From Irritable Pundit:

[reference link]

From James:

From The Javelina Bomb:

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[ref 1,ref 2]

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Thurston:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


I’m thinking either Kris for the Simpsons reference or me for Hillary’s trip to Bosnia

What say you?


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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Wisdom of the Day: Klout Semiautomatic Aliens Bawling

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Debbie Wasserman Shultz’s Newsweek Cover

[High Praise! to Out of Order]

DaleToons offers up one of the best parodies I’ve seen of that Newsweek “Wimp” cover:

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Actors Shouldn’t Earn More than the People They Pretend to Be

Glenn Reynolds, blender of puppies, has an interesting idea: Hit Democrats with taxes to teach them that taxes hurt. One idea is to hit Hollywood with special taxes, which seems like a great idea. Nothing is more idiotic than rich, moron actors who earn millions to pretend to be useful people whining about the rich having all this money they didn’t earn. Here’s my own super logical idea for actors and their pay: An actor should always earn less than someone who actually does the occupation he’s pretending to do. Since people who do things are superior to people who pretend to do things, this just seems fair. So if an actor plays a teacher, he has to get less than the average teacher’s pay. And if he plays a soldier, he gets less than the average soldier’s pay. Of course, I bet the consequence of this would be that all the big name actors will only accept roles where they play CEOs or a Romney-type investor, but, hey, this is all about fairness.

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Straight Line of the Day: Have you seen Obama’s new campaign video?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Have you seen Obama’s new campaign video?

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10 Crazy Facts About Democrats I Have Evidence For

Apparently the big thing today is to throw around allegations without any evidence behind them. Well, I know a bunch of things about Democrats which I do have evidence to prove though I’m going to keep that evidence to myself as I’d have to take pictures and size them right and upload them and… eh… sounds like a lot of work. But I do evidence about all this stuff, but don’t pester me about it.

FACTS

* Jar Jar Binks is based on imitations of various racial minorities Harry Reid did for George Lucas.

* Obama won’t release his college records because he got an F in every class except Marxist theory and recess.

* Nancy Pelosi can neither read nor write nor make facial expressions.

* Biden spent all of October 2007 pushing on a door labeled “PULL.”

* Ted Kennedy was actually brain dead for the last decade he was in Senate and no one noticed.

* Obama cheers every time unemployment goes up until an aide reminds him that a higher number for that is bad.

* Eric Holder personally authorized selling guns to Mexican drug cartels because he thought that would be hilarious. “The U.S. government — selling guns to Mexican murderers? How is that not funny?”

* Not a single member of Obama’s economics advisors were able to pick out the correct definition of what a job is, instead identifying it as some sort of soft drink popular in the Midwest.

* The “No Blackface” sign outside the Senate chambers was put there specifically because of Harry Reid.

* Obama has been a complete and utter failure as president, causing debt to skyrocket while getting no economic gains from it, and thus is desperate for any distraction he can latch on to.

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How to Honor a Fellow Moon Nuker

In the comments to the Straight Line of the Day about Nancy Pelosi, Suicidal Idiot said:

BEST FILL IN THE QUOTES EVER! I nominate High Praise for everybody.

And I realized there’s a problem at IMAO.

Only Frank J. and his many assorted alternate personalities (or “co-bloggers” as we like to call ourselves) have the power to bestow High Praise! because, well, you guys just aren’t cool enough.

Still, it does seem unfair that Moon Nukers have no generally-agreed-upon phrase to pay tribute to their peers who perform well.

Because Suicidal Idiot was right, the Nancy Pelosi collection IS absolute weapons-grade funny.

So, I’m looking for some input from you guys.

What should Moon Nukers say to honor each other?

Possible suggestions:
______________

“Elevated Accolades!”

“High .45!”

“Peace Prize!” (since Obama got one for doing nothing, it is now officially less valuable than getting “High Praise!” from IMAO)
______________

Pick one of those or come up with your own in the comments, please.

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Random Thoughts: Mars Roving

If Curiosity finds some Transformers on Mars, don’t tell Michael Bay because I don’t want to risk giving him a premise for another movie.

Is Mars the one with the rings?

Obama: “Unemployment remains high because jobs are being taken by technology such as ATMs and Mars rovers.”

Why don’t we ever land on Venus? It’s closer and bigger and less warlike.

They should do a sequel to that Jamaican bobsled movie but instead it’s a Jamaican curling team. Starring Usain Bolt.

How about we get rid of your and you’re and just use “yer” in both situations.

And how about we get rid of there, their, and they’re and just say “thar” with a pirate accent.

Has Mythbusters tested out surviving a nuke in a fridge? Govt should lend nukes for that since they’re not really doing anything with them.

“I’m from Mythbusters to pick up some nukes.”
“Okay. Can I see a photo ID?”
“RACIST!”

At the Olympics’ end, Obama takes all the medals from the athletes and gives them to the politicians who voted to make roads and bridges.

Obama: “America will only be able to watch helplessly as I add trillions to the debt, but I first need people to voluntarily give me millions.”

Just in case, I hope they gave Curiosity a gun.

If I were on a manned mission to Mars, I’d bring a shotgun.
“We’re pretty sure there’s no life there.”
“Not sure enough.”

I bet the same conversation happened with those space marines from Doom.

I hope Chris Christie is the GOP VP candidate because fat jokes are fun and easy. Like your mom. Who is fat.

Even the thought of Chris Christie in the race is already making my humor more immature.

We wouldn’t have so much corruption in the Olympics if we didn’t allow so many foreign countries in it.

So what happened with golf to cause the Olympics to drop it 108 years ago?

Bought a weapon from an auction in Diablo 3 for 12k gold, put a 70 gold gem in it, and turned around and auctioned it for 250k gold. I’m a financial genius.

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