What If Chick-fil-A Had Been Chick-fal-Afel?

A most excellent point from iOwnTheWorld [High Praise!]:

Has anybody asked the question, “What if Chick-fil-A had been Chick-fal-Afel?” And what if instead of Dan Cathy expressing his Christian beliefs during a Baptist radio interview, it had been Omar expressing his Muslim beliefs during a CAIR radio interview? The difference is this… Omar would have been given the keys to the cities of and by the mayors who closed their doors to Dan Cathy!

_______________

UPDATE: Linked by Hatless in Hattiesburg

Send to Kindle

If There’s a Line on Obama-Related Merchandise, This Crosses It

[High Praise! to hwuu]

As near as I can tell, this is a real thing:

Yes, that’s a cremation urn designed to resemble President Obama’s head:

Personal Cremation Urns for ashes are the latest in custom personalized cremation urns for ashes. They are created from one or two photographs with exceptional attention to detail. The advent of state-of-the-art 3D imaging means that these high-tech urns can be made to look like anyone.

Personal urns can have hair added digitaly for short haired people, as in the sample of President Obama. For longer hair we can add a wig to your specifications. A solid brass nameplate is available. This cremation urn rest on a solid black marble base. The ashes are loaded from the bottom.

Personal Urns for ashes will provide a very realistic memorial for anyone. We simply request from you a good photograph of the front of the persons face. If you have one or two from the side, then all the better.

No official word on whether the cost of it will be covered under Obamacare, but you’d think they’d give you a free one at your death-panel review.

UPDATE: Related, and pretty disturbing in its own right:

But for rancor and revenge, there’s nothing more satisfying than putting a despised face on an urn. The urns, incidentally, can also be personalized so you can keep a loved one or a hated one, complete with photos, in your home … to help you honor your loss or anger.

_______________

UPDATE: Linked by Conservative Nation News

UPDATE: Linked by iOwnTheWorld

Send to Kindle

How to Make Tennis Interesting

3 words: Flaming tennis balls

NOTE: Contains a few mild gratuitous swears


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,912,254)

Send to Kindle

This Is the Chevy Volt of Motorcycles

[via Technabob]

Absolutely the pansiest-looking thing on two wheels. Dear heavens, it makes the Segway look butch.

Naturally, it has the Obama seal of approval (at your expense, of course):

The Senate has voted to approve tax credits for electric bicycles and motorcycles, like the cool RedShift electric bikes, of up to $2500 (USD). The tax credits are good for 10% of the purchase price up to a maximum of $2500. The goal of the tax credits is not only to help reduce some of our dependence on foreign oil, but to also spur the creation of jobs in the electric bicycle and motorcycle industry.

Send to Kindle

You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Obama’s discovered a new green energy source…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Send to Kindle

Link of the Day: The Most Serious Analysis Yet of the Harry Reid Pederasty Charges

[High Praise! to Hatless in Hattiesburg]

From Peter Bella of The Washington Times Communities:

Harry Reid must come clean if that’s possible

Pederasty, tax evasion, his links to organized crime in Las Vegas – it ALL needs to come out!

WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, HARRY?

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Send to Kindle

Wisdom of the Day: Mirror Shoplifting Recession

Send to Kindle

How to Identify Liberals by the Sound of Their Voice

A Guest Post by Jimmy [High Praise!]

Science is remarkable and scientists are even more remarkable. For example, just recently, scientists have figured out how to identify a bat by its sound. An article on Gizmag has everything you might want to know about it. For example:

“Everyone knows that it’s possible to identify different species of birds by their vocalizations, but did you know that it’s also possible to differentiate between different types of bats based on their echolocation calls? Well, now you do…”

Holy socks! Until now, I didn’t know I would know this! Go ahead, read the whole thing and then see if you’re like me…

Which got me to thinking. How do we aurally identify common Progressives? I speculate as follows:

Person – Type of speech

* Barack Obama – Ghetto pulpit drawl

* Joe Biden – Barber shop slang

* Nancy Pelosi – Botox nasal twang

* Harry Reid – Soft cowboy longings

* Barney Frank – Boyish lisp with something in his mouth

I should stop there because I just KNOW you have more to add!

_______________

[Harvey adds]

* Chris Matthews – 440Hz leg tingle

* Sandra Fluke – birth control pill rattle

* Hillary Clinton – broom swoosh/black cat yowl

* Bill Clinton – light scraping, like a tobacco leaf on skin

* Al Gore – boiling ocean burble

Send to Kindle

Dishonest But Important

Time magazine has declared the sleazy ad accusing Romney of killing people with cancer to be “dishonest but important.”

So let me get this straight. We have an attack ad saying how someone died of cancer for reasons completely unrelated to anything Romney ever did, but somehow it illustrates a substantive point? If the point is so substantive, wouldn’t it be easy to make a non-sleazy ad that involved actual factual points? So why didn’t they make that?

It makes me think of how when the left attack conceal carry, they mention all these horrible things (“It will be like the Wild West!”) that could happen but never point to any actual examples of those — because there aren’t any. But I guess those are substantive arguments.

So the main problem here is that the left doesn’t really understand what the word “substantive” means. And they’re okay with dishonesty. Great combo.

Send to Kindle

The Republican Convention Should Open With This Song

[High Praise! to The Morning Spew]

I’m fairly particular about how America’s national anthem should be played. I think it should be done with reverence and respect. It should be about the SONG, not the singer, and I generally have no patience for histrionical, self-absorbed “celebrities” who mangle it because they’re trying to “make it their own.”

For example, I think SarahK did it exactly right on IMAO podcast #6, back in the day.

That said, I heartily endorse Madison Rising’s version. Somehow they’ve figured out how to make their own particular flourishes enhance rather than detract from the power and beauty of the song. Bacon to them.


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #327,060)

Send to Kindle

Real Americans Don’t Worry About Rich People

Here’s a Gawker article on how we need to have a maximum income.

American don’t think like this.

I know a lot of liberals have trouble understanding why someone earning $40,000 would be angry about taxes being raised on someone earning $1 million. That’s because they’re bad at being Americans. Good honest people don’t spend their day worrying about how someone else has more money than them, and they certainly don’t wish bad things about someone just because he’s earned more. They want fairness for rich people as well — which usually means letting them keep what they earned. For some reason the left has trouble comprehending this, and they want to stomp all over freedom because they just can’t stand the thought of someone earning more money. Really, they’re going to have some useless politician pull a number out of his posterior for how much he thinks people should be able to earn, and they think the economy will thank us for this random act of violence against it? Or they don’t care if they hurt the economy as long as things are “fair” — fair meaning I got to hurt someone for having more than me.

In my new book coming out soon, I talk about how outlawing whining would be the single greatest thing we could do to help our economy. I think it’s pretty easy to see why. Right now, France is getting ready to tax the rich at 75% which of course is going to cause lots of rich people to leave. Don’t we want to be the non-whiny country to scoop those rich people up so they add to our economy and make jobs here, or is whining just too big a value for some to give up?

You want a better economy, deport the whiners. Worry about your own finances, not someone else’s.

Send to Kindle

Straight Line of the Day: Obama’s Decided to Replace Joe Biden as VP…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obama’s decided to replace Joe Biden as VP…

Send to Kindle

Should Positive Political Ads Be Banned?

I have a new New York Post column on the danger of the (luckily rare) positive ads that foolishly tell us to trust and like politicians.

The mere thought of one of these positive political ads chills my soul. Either there is a voiceover as the politician meets with hard-working Americans, or the politician looks directly at the camera with his soulless eyes and tells us that we can trust him to fix our problems and strengthen our nation.

I don’t even know why these are legal. You can’t shout “Fire!” in a crowded theater, so why should a politician in a country drowning in debt be allowed to shout, “Trust me”?

Read it. Discuss it. Like it on Facebook.

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts: People Died While Romney Existed!

If you don’t understand why a man earning $40,000 would get angry at raising taxes on a man earning $1 million, you’re not a good American.

“My wife died for reasons completely unrelated to Romney, and while it happened Romney was all rich and stuff. Vote Obama.”

Obama passed Obamacare and a couple years later my dad passed away. Am I supposed to blame Obama? How does this work?

“I’m listening to this band called ‘Nickelback’; you probably haven’t heard of them.” -inept hipster

They charge women more than men for health insurance? It’s almost like they have different health issues!

That statement by Obama is exactly why you don’t want useless twits like him messing with anything that affects markets.

Obama: “You want freedom of religion? How about a handful of condoms instead?”

You could probably draw a connection between that guy’s wife’s cancer death and Kevin Bacon easier than you can with Mitt Romney.

BTW, my sister has now worked with Kevin Bacon, so it only takes two steps to get from me to him.

Wow, I just got some pretty definitive news on who is going to be Romney’s VP pick, but I’m going to keep it to myself so I can feel special.

It’s kind of neat to think there is this big city far far away where you can pick up a newspaper and then see me in print.

Send to Kindle

Famous Last Words, or Things Overheard at an Occupy Rally

Sadly for Obama, many of the things in this video have been said by his best supporters over the last 4 years, so that would probably explain the downward slide in his poll numbers:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #96,893)

Send to Kindle