You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Obama has a new Iran strategy…“.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Michelle Obama Targets Vulnerable Voting Bloc

During a campaign stop in Pennsylvania, Michelle Obama encouraged people to get “that knucklehead friend of yours” to vote for her husband.

She doesn’t have to push. Barack’s got THAT demographic locked up.

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New Obama Campaign Song

[High Praise! to I’m a Man, I’m 41]

[with apologies to Elvis Presley]


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #65,818)

Might not win him many votes, but at least it’s honest.

And catchy!

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Which Harry Do You Trust?

[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]

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Does Frank J. Love His Daughter Enough to Build This?

Homemade backyard rollercoaster:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,113,303)

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Link of the Day: Blowback – Conservative Takedown of Obama’s “This Team” Meme

[High Praise! to Seanmahair & Les of Brick Moon, who both sent me this link]

From The Morlock Revolt:

This Team is Big Fail!

Here’s the original from Team Obama:

Here’s just one response.

Plenty more at the link above.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wisdom of the Day: Titanic Shampoo Nerd Prosperity

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lolbama! Part 97

Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Arik:

[reference link]

From Dan:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[Note to race-baiters, that’s not a hair joke – check the dictionary]

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Peregrine John:

From Peregrine John:

From Travelwise42:

From Zach:

[reference link]


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Charles:

From Travelwise42:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


Either Arik for the Son of Sam teleprompter, or Kris for Harry’s Elmer Gantry quote.

What say you?


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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Make All of America as Great as Chicago

Obama said, “Chicago is an example of what makes this country great.” He then ducked just in time for stray bullet to miss him while a number of city officials were then hauled off to prison.

If Obama thinks Chicago is an example of American greatness, no wonder he thinks he’s doing a good job as president. I mean, how many of his cabinet have been hauled off prison?

Answer: Not enough.

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More Progress on the Road to Dinosaurs With Rocket Launchers

[via Very Demotivational]

Dinosaurs with chainsaw hands:

Hey, if it’s good enough for Ash Williams

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Sharing Prosperity

“Do we go forward towards a new vision of an America in which prosperity is shared?” a mugger said as he pointed a gun at me.

No wait, that was Obama. I get them confused.

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Straight Line of the Day: Janet Napolitano’s New Homeland Security Plan…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Janet Napolitano’s new Homeland Security plan…

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Democrat Thick

Wow, this is thick:

It’s like even a bunker buster bomb wouldn’t be enough to get a clue through her thick skull.

Of course, this is all strategic. Now, you may ask, how strategic is it to send Debbie Wasserman Schultz out there pretending to be complete and utter ignoramus unless the end goal is to get everyone to hate and despise Democrats? Well, it’s just that the Democrats know their only hope with Paul Ryan and how reasonable he sounds is to scare seniors, so there is no way they can acknowledge the fact that Paul Ryan’s plan doesn’t affect anyone 55 or older. If they have to make Wasserman Schultz act dumber than a bag of hammers to that effect, well, she’s good at that. Of course, as Wolf Blitzer found out, if someone continues to push the point on someone acting this dumb, it makes a ridiculous spectacle. So, the question is will others in the press be this diligent? I wouldn’t count on it; it will be up to us to ridicule away their idiotic arguments.

Hey, when Biden and Wasserman Schultz are away, who runs the Mensa meeting at the White House?

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Random Thoughts: Breaking Biden

I spend a lot of time on the internet finding essays, incorrectly putting a famous person’s name on them, and then forwarding them.

When Obama debates Romney, just make sure Paul Ryan is in the front row, glaring at him.

If you hold up a budget to Obama, he hisses like a vampire.

It’s nice to pretend that something will be done about the debt. I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much, though.

BREAKING: Biden had to cancel all events today after getting his hands stuck in a Chinese finger trap.

BREAKING: In a tearful decision, Biden has called Homeland Security on his imaginary friend Gus.

Biden told a group of schoolkids that his favorite dinosaur is the rhinoceros.

BREAKING: Biden has received a minor concussion in a mishap caused by him chasing a laser pointer.

Current scientific thought is that left-handers are refugees from an alternate universe and must be hunted down to protect the timeline.

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Caught on Film: Hawaii Celebrates the Day the Japanese Surrendered

[High Praise! to Legal Insurrection]

Although technically “V-J Day” is September 2nd (the day the treaty was officially signed), Japan’s surrender was greeted with joy all over the US.

Here’s some rare footage of that day as it happened in Hawaii:


[Vimeo direct link]

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