Finally! The Honor Obama Deserves

[High Praise! to The Real Revo]

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My Darkest Obama Nightmare

[High Praise! to The Real Revo]

CAUTION: Contains graphic CGI violence


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #135,082)

It’s not a real movie (yet), just a concept trailer from a guy who wants to turn it into a movie.

Sort of a paranoid liberty-lover’s “Red Dawn”
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The world reels with the turmoil of war, geological disaster, and economic collapse, while Americans continue to submerge themselves in illusions of safety and immunity. While rights are sold for security, the federal government, swollen with power, begins a systematic takeover of liberty in order to bring about a New World Order.

Americans, quarantined to militarized districts, become a population ripe for tyrannical control.

Fearmongering, terrorism, police state, martial law, war, arrest, internment, hunger, oppression, violence, resistance – these are the new terms by which Americans define their existence. Neighbor is turned against neighbor as the value of the dollar plunges to zero, food supplies are depleted, and everyone is a terror suspect. There are arrests. Disappearances. Bio attacks. Public executions of those even suspected of dissent. Even rumors of concentration camps on American soil.

This is the backdrop to an unfolding story of resistance. American militias prepare for guerrilla warfare. There are mass defections from the military as true Patriots attempt to rally around the Constitution and defend liberty, preparing a national insurgency against federal forces, knowing full well this will be the last time in history the oppressed will be capable of organized resistance.

It is a time of transition, of shifting alliance, of mass awakening and mass execution. It is an impending storm, an iron-gray morning that puts into effect decades of over-comfort and complacency, and Americans wake up to an occupied homeland. It is a time of lists – black list, white list, and those still caught in the middle, those who risk physical death for their free will and those who sell their souls to maintain their idle thoughts and easy comforts. It is in this Gray State that the perpetuation of human freedom will be contested, or crushed.

Is it the near future, or is it the present? The Gray State is coming – by consent or conquest. This is battlefield USA.
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Obama’s Visit to the Solyndra Plant

[High Praise! to The Fine Report via The People’s Cube]

Ok, Obama’s mustache is a bit gratuitous, but this is still a good piece.

Obama: “So what’s this thing we’re standing in front of, do?”

Gronet: “It’s a conveyor belt.”

Obama: “Like what’s holding up the pants on this gigantic suit they just made me put on? Whose jacket is this anyways, Chris Christie’s? My wife’s?”

Gronet: “No, no – this belt conveys things.”

Obama: “Does it go left to right, or right to left?”

Gronet: “Good question. I never saw it move.”

Obama: “How come there’s nothing moving?”

Gronet: “What do you mean?”

Obama: “There’s nothing on the conveyor. How come nothing is being moved around?”

Gronet: (laughs) “We don’t ‘move’ anything here because we don’t make anything here! I take that back: we make money. And a lot of it.”
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Click here to read the rest at The Fine Report.

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “President Obama’s teleprompter… “.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Also, Keln’s picked the Punchline Nuker of the Week.

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Finally! Proof That Harry Reid Is a Pederast!

[via Very Demotivational]

It’s a digital image I found on the internet. What more proof do you need?

TELL THE TRUTH, HARRY!

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Link of the Day: Another Victim of Romney’s Evil Murderousness

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

Mitt Romney Made Me Bald of Cancer

No doubt about it: Mitt Romney has magical disease-causing powers. Walkingdead’s logic is simply unassailable.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wisdom of the Day: High Road Cat China Wrench

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Another Business Smacks Down Obama on “You Didn’t Build That”

Outside Additive Systems, Inc. in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma (a Tulsa suburb).

[Channel 8’s full report]

This movement may need a theme song. I’m suggesting Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It”.

Any other suggestions?

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Odd Religion

Dana Milibank calls out the absurdity of calling the Family Research Council a “hate group” which is good, but to balance things out, he makes a few fact-less assertions that the left all take as articles of faith such as the right being much more angry than the left and that leads to violence (he mentions Glenn Beck followers becoming violent — who?).

People talk about Mitt Romney’s faith being odd, but the religious belief of the left that the right are angry and violent has to be the weirdest religion of all.

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I Don’t Think Mayor Bloomberg Would Approve of This

[via Technabob]

Making model airplanes out of cigarette packs:

Obviously this is a bad thing.

Relating cigarettes to toys encourages children to flirt with a dangerous habit, and as we at IMAO have unequivocally stated in the past:

Kids are just not cool enough to smoke (starts at 11:37)

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Racist MSNBC

So is MSNBC ever going to get called on for their blatant racism in hiring Touré? The guy is a pea-brain who’s only shtick is finding increasingly absurd things to accuse of racism (while, of course, doing it in a purely partisan manner such as leaving Biden off the hook because these sorts of people never care about racism beyond using accusations of it as a political cudgel), and MSNBC saw him and thought, “This is guy is pretty smart for a black man,” and put him on TV. I mean, really, you have to have as dim a view of black people as a KKK member to think Touré is someone exceptional and worth hearing.

So we need to tell MSNBC to stop the racism. Give Touré a more appropriate job for someone of his intellectual rigor. Like janitor.

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On Moderation

Just a note to Nukers – you never need to leave a comment to ask me to release your comment from moderation. I get all the comments emailed to me, so I get notified immediately when one goes to moderation. As soon as I see something in moderation, I check it out.

The only thing delaying the release of real comments is the frequency with which I check my email.

If I could monitor it constantly, I would, but… only human.

I asked Frank to train a monkey to release comments from moderation, but his maimouphobia just keeps getting in the way.

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Straight Line of the Day: Hillary Asked to Be VP. Obama Said…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said…

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No One But Anyone Paying Attention

Reacting to accusation from Romney that he has a “campaign of division and anger and hate”, Obama said, “I don’t think you or anybody who’s been watching the campaign would say, yes, that in any way we have tried to divide the country.” He then made a series of similar statements.

“No one would say I’ve raised the deficit.”

“No one would say I have a VP with the intellectual capacity of pumpkin.”

“No one would say I’ve played golf.”

“No one would say I’m a useless nitwit with no practical economic experience.”

“No one would ever say I use a teleprompter.”

“No one would say I’ve been more concerned about left-wing solutions to health care than jobs.”

“No one would say I’m named Obama.”

“No one would say I’m a horrible failure that makes us reexamine how harsh we were on Jimmy Carter.”

“No one would say I’m black.”

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Random Thoughts: Imaginary Friends and Enemies

Where do you get that talking doll that threatens to kill you when you’re alone with it?

If they do a modern remake of The Godfather, the “Leave the gun, take the…” line would be great for product placement. E.g., “Leave the gun, take the Locos Tacos.”

If Hollywood ever wants to make tons more money, they just need to hire me.

Instead of projecting all their own id onto conservatives, it would be nice if liberals created imaginary friends for that purpose.

“I’m open minded and respect other people’s opinions, but Gus my invisible friend wants to hurt anyone who disagrees with him.”

The most racist thing is that MSNBC thinks Toure is exceptionally smart for a black person and worth putting on TV.

Anyone who, when hearing the name “Obama”, thinks of the word “black” before he thinks of the word “incompetent” is a racist.

Just because an exceptionally dumb person said a word on TV doesn’t mean it’s okay for everyone else to use.

One day, racially obsessed weirdos like Toure will be tossed away in the same bin as the KKK.

Good Intrade trend for Romney since the Ryan announcement, if that means anything (it doesn’t).

HER: “Are you even listening?”
ME: “I’m scanning for keywords. That’s a sort of listening.”

The condom machine in the bathroom didn’t have any condoms but it did have ibuprofen which is even more important to have around a woman.

The RiffTrax Live riffing of “Manos: The Hands of Fate” was hilarious, SarahK’s only complaint being that Michael J. Nelson didn’t iron his shirt collar.

Like how they use Hail to the Chief for the president, they should use Torgo’s theme for the VP.

ME: “Buttercup, are you a good baby?”
BUTTERCUP (22 mo): “No. I’m bad baby.”

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