I’m very secretive about my birth certificate because it shows I’m a native Californian (don’t let anyone in Idaho know!).
BREAKING: Romney has issued an apology. “It was wrong of me to point out how foreign and divorced from basic American values Obama is.”
BREAKING: Obama camp has released this response to Romney: “You didn’t say that.”
I want to go on record as not being sure of the wisdom of Romney stepping into this. That is all.
BREAKING: Response from Obama: “I won’t have a cancer-causing felon question my place of birth!”
Best response Romney camp can give to Obama outrage: “Lighten up, Francis.”
Just wish I bought stock in fainting couches.
PRO TIP: New Q-tips made especially for professional athletes.
You mean at the DNC we’ll get a SPEECH from OBAMA! Sure to be a game changer!
Women have other concerns than abortion such as contraception and being raped by non-Democrats.
Romney, now make a joke about him being a socialist!
It’s so cute some people think there is still a gun debate.
It’s just a joke. Conservatives don’t really care anymore that Obama was born in Kenya and raised a Muslim.
The main crux of the argument for the pro-gun control crowd is “Grr! Freedom scary!” and it just doesn’t work in this country.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that dog-eating weirdo was from another country.”
Hey, Romney, I double-dog dare you to use this line in your next speech: “And let’s ship his Keynesian ideas back to Kenya!”
Another good line: “And I would never question Obama’s faith. I hear he’s very devout and prays at least five times a day.”
Remember when Apple was known primarily for those Macintosh computers you only ever saw in the classroom?
When you ask a Bostonian to make a pirate around, does he just say, “Ahh!”?
So has Apple passes Microsoft now in being the evil empire?
“I eat potatoes!”
“And you felt the need the inform me of this?”
I don’t why a sub-two-year-old feels the need to narrate everything she does. It’s not like she sounds like Morgan Freeman.
Still, it’s the the most awesome thing ever ever that I’m somebody’s daddy.
What I learned from Buttercup today is that a squirrel is a combination kitty/monkey.
Boy is Buttercup opinionated. We had an argument over whether a chihuahua is a cat or a dog, and I did not win.
After the mean joke today, Obama, bless his heart, could really use a hug. What a special little guy.
After years of study at the Mayo Clinic, they are now releasing to human trials BACON MAYONNAISE.
I don’t get the different dry settings on a dryer. I thought dryness was a binary state.
One of the options is “damp”. Why would you put something in the dryer you still want damp? Just wring it out a little.
I’m going on vacation Wednesday evening, so tell me how the RNC went.