It’s the president’s birthday. Really.
Just think, 51 years ago today, Barack Hussein Obama II was born, possibly in Hawaii or Kenya or somewhere. And, today, with a lot of hard work and sweat, we’ve still failed to keep him from becoming president. But, we don’t need to let that fact interfere with our wishing nothing but the best for Mr. Obama.
He’s worked — okay, golfed — hard these last four years, and the least we can do is hope he has a happy birthday today and a long retirement beginning noon, January 20, 2013.
We’ll focus on the birthday today, though.
In the spirit of bipartisan ship, we’re taking a page from the Republicans — you do realize I’m not a Republican, although I do seem to vote for them a lot, right? — and send our wishes to the president.
The GOP has a Website set up to send the president some birthday wishes: BaracksBirthdayCards.com. If you want to send birthday wishes there, great. They’re also trying to raise money for the Barack Obama Retirement Program, which is a worthy cause. But we’re not encouraging you to give them money.
You see, we’re not all about the money here. We genuinely want you to send your birthday wishes to the president in the comments.
Happy birthday, Mr. President. You are living proof of the American dream. Since, technically, a nightmare is still a dream.
Okay, let me try that again.
Happy birthday, Mr. President. Here’s hoping you have many, many more. And that the guards you’ll have in Leavenworth beginning next year will treat you with proper respect.
Hmm. One more time.
Happy birthday, Mr. President. Sorry your plan to destroy America didn’t work out. You gave it a good try, though.
Okay, once more.
Happy birthday, Mr. President. The prospect of unemployment sucks, doesn’t it? Like they said when you were a child, “Welcome to America!”
Anyway, see how easy it is? No profanity now. Or, at least, if you must be profane, use abbreviations or asterisks or something. But, be nice. Kinda nice, anyway. A little bit nice. Okay, just be funny.