Harry Reid Accused of Piloting UFO Around DC Area

WASHINGTON (AP) – After numerous UFO sightings in the DC area last June, spokesmen from the Patuxent Naval Air Station revealed that it was actually just an experimental drone aircraft. Although the Navy claims that the X-47B is flown completely by its computer and has no personnel aboard, a quick search of the internet by ABC’s Brian Ross proved the military’s cover story to be false.

“No evidence to suggest Harry Reid disembarked his UFO long enough to meet with Obama and inappropriately touch young people.”

“There’s a ‘Hairy Reed’ of Washington DC, page on Twitter,” said Ross, “and there’s a tweet here talking about him flying a UFO. Now, we don’t know if this is the same Harry Reid. But it’s Harry Reid of Washington, DC. This might be significant.”

As further evidence, the Washington Post cited “a phone call from some guy who once read cowboy poetry,” but declined to identify him. He was, however, quoted as saying, “Harry Reid! He’s in the sky! He’s everywhere! HE’S EVERYWHERE!”

The Washington Post’s Ed O’Keefe said the conclusion was “obvious”.

“The responsibility of the media is to report stories no matter what they’re based on, for example truth, or rumors, or the loudest of my little head-voices. And based on the deranged rantings of an anonymous lunatic, we must assume that Harry Reid is a space alien bent on global destruction who does strafing runs over the DC area for kicks.”

“Also,” concluded O’Keefe, “according to a recent Twitter hashtag, Reid may also be a pederast. Now we don’t know if it’s the same Harry Reid, but this might be significant.”

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10 Comments

  1. So Harry says 17 old white men are going to celebrate over breakfast with Carl Rove right after the election? Complete with slobbering and bad teeth? Isn’t Harry an old white man? And if he is…why is he making statements that sound like something the leader of the New Black Panther Party would say? I ask these questions because someone called me and said he knew someone who says Harry is actually an old woman.

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  2. John Roberts just ruled that it wasn’t pederasty, it was a tax.

    Reid spends most of his working days lobbying Obama to extend his class warfare to Mrs. Simpkins 3rd grade class at a nearby grade school.

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