Straight Line of the Day: The Obama Campaign Picked Up a New Endorsement…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The Obama campaign picked up a new endorsement…
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August 31st, 2012 at 12:07 pm
…from Erinhone, king of the unicorns.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:10 pm
…of course he did, new democratic Chicago voters are dying all the time.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:23 pm
…it was written on a piece of paper that fell out of Sandy Berger’s socks and was signed…Guess Who?
August 31st, 2012 at 12:26 pm
…but it was intercepted.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Petco. Business just booms whenever he comes to town.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:31 pm
from both the manufacturers of KY Jelly and Preparation H. Guaranteed to make the insertion of one’s head into one’s anus as smooth and painless as possible.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:33 pm
from the International Coalition of Chinese Bankers.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:34 pm
from the 1 out of 5 patients who like to suffer from diarrhea.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:35 pm
…..from the renowned author of the classic novel “Yellow River” I.P. Freely
…..but it turned out that since the Mr. J. Stalin was in fact not buried in Chicago his being dead would keep him from voting.
…..As the Fred Phelps decided that he hates Mormons more than black people
….. and Obama said – Dammit Joe shut your pie hole, you’re my VP, you moron EVERYONE already knew you endorsed me.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:36 pm
written on stationery with a hammer and sickle at the top
August 31st, 2012 at 12:39 pm
from the underpants gnomes.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:42 pm
the Lollipop Guild, the Order of the Phoenix and any other fictious groups whose members ACORN could slip past the vote registrars.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:42 pm
…from the guy who wrote the “101 Ways to Wok Your Dog” cookbook.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:51 pm
The Obama Campaign Picked Up a New Endorsement…from Hugo Chavez.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:52 pm
from the Korean Restaurant Association.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:55 pm
from the Cryptozoological Society of Maryland in exchange for the opportunity to vivisect his Sasquatch.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:55 pm
The Obama Campaign Picked Up a New Endorsement…from Obama’s Uncle Onyango Obama and Aunt Zeituni Onyango.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:57 pm
The Obama Campaign Picked Up a New Endorsement…from Chris Matthews on behalf of all the executives and employees of MSNBC.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:00 pm
from the ghosts of Susan B. Anthony and Eleanor Roosevelt and Nancy Pelosi (yes, she has been brain dead for decades)……..
August 31st, 2012 at 1:04 pm
From NAMDLA, the North American Man Dog Lunch Association
August 31st, 2012 at 1:06 pm
The Obama Campaign Picked Up a New Endorsement…from that chick who played a chick who whored around NYC and then wrote about it.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:07 pm
the Mexican Cartel.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:17 pm
by Toxiciologists for a President Biden.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:21 pm
from various animal shelters who fear going back to having to euthanize so many dogs.
from the dog fur coat factory union.
from Glenn Reynold’s mom; President of the Canine Joke Writers Guild.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:21 pm
from a confused Vin Diesel.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:23 pm
by Taxidermists for a President Biden.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:35 pm
The Obama Campaign Picked Up a New Endorsement…from Emperor Palpatine.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:37 pm
The Obama Campaign Picked Up a New Endorsement…from “Astronaut Neil Young.”
August 31st, 2012 at 1:42 pm
The Obama Campaign Picked Up a New Endorsement…from the Committee to Advance the Long-Term Employment Prospects of Celebrity Impersonators. The Chewbacca impersonators are apparently raking in the dough doing side-gigs as the First Lady.
August 31st, 2012 at 1:46 pm
The Obama Campaign Picked Up a New Endorsement from Mitt Romney and the entire Republican party.
hehehehehe
August 31st, 2012 at 2:00 pm
The Obama campaign picked up a new endorsement…
Spanky say “Otay!”
August 31st, 2012 at 2:03 pm
From Absolut, because nothing goes better with communism then alcoholism.
August 31st, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Putin.
Wait, that’s not a joke. It’s for real: http://www.novinite.com/view_news.php?id=142825
August 31st, 2012 at 2:24 pm
. . . from Disney. Meet your favorite Disney characters at the DNC – Dumbo, Dopey, and Goofy!
August 31st, 2012 at 2:54 pm
After watching Clint Eastwood’s speech, La-Z-Boy chairs everywhere announced, “Obama is one of us!”
August 31st, 2012 at 3:02 pm
…from, uh, um, hang on. … *typing* *click* ummmm… hmmm *typing* Huh. Well. … Hey is that my phone ringing?
August 31st, 2012 at 4:27 pm
. . . from vultures. Without roads, where would they find roadkill to eat?
August 31st, 2012 at 4:59 pm
by the Special Olympics bowling team.
August 31st, 2012 at 5:01 pm
from 3 out of 5 of Chris Matthews’ special tingles. He’s faking the other 2.
August 31st, 2012 at 5:06 pm
…and the tobacco companies couldn’t be happier.
August 31st, 2012 at 5:07 pm
from the viewer of Oprah’s new channel.
August 31st, 2012 at 5:31 pm
… from al-Qaida. They gave a brief statement: “Through Allah’s infinite wisdom and mercy, may our young warriors spend the next 4 years milking goats while the Great Satan is destroyed from within by the dog-eating infidel. Allahu Akbar!”
August 31st, 2012 at 6:40 pm
…from his local CHOOM dealer!
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August 31st, 2012 at 6:45 pm
from Bashar al-Assad
August 31st, 2012 at 6:59 pm
…from Col. Sanders -because Republicans don’t care that America’s chickens have come home to roost and require government assistance. If Republicans had their way they would deny Poultry-Americans basic rights such as public housing -leaving them to the elements, food assistance -forcing them to fend for themselves, and socialized medicine -where they wouldn’t get the hormones and antibiotics they need.
Sarah Palin once described the Colonel’s chicken retirement plan as a ‘Death Panel’ …but who listens to Sarah Palin anyway? …And just remember, anytime a republican claims a chicken’s skin isn’t naturally golden brown, that just proves they’re racist.
August 31st, 2012 at 7:14 pm
From a composite supporter.
August 31st, 2012 at 7:17 pm
Pardon. From a deceased composite voter.
August 31st, 2012 at 8:10 pm
from David Duke.
from Hollywood Extra #5.
. . . picked up a new endorsement deal from MAD magazine, giving them an interview entitled “Why You Really Shouldn’t Worry”.
September 4th, 2012 at 6:54 pm
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