Archive for September, 2012

The Main Reason Why I Own a Glock

Sunday, September 30, 2012 10:00 pm

[High Praise! to Gotta Get Drunk First]

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Obama Would Make a Great Rapper

Sunday, September 30, 2012 8:00 pm

[High Praise! to Call Me Stormy]

Nice attention to detail on this. An excellent parody of MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This”


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #782,787)

On a personal note, watching Michelle Obama dance creeps me out like stepping in a pile of those wiggly things that live under rocks.

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Link of the Day: Obama Pledges Allegiance to Obama

Sunday, September 30, 2012 6:00 pm

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

With Misery And Obama For All…

If you thought Jim Messina’s pledge pictures were creepy, wait until you see Obama’s…

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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7 Things That Don’t Enrage the Arab Street

Sunday, September 30, 2012 3:00 pm

[High Praise! to Commonsense & Wonder]

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Obama Was Right – It Was a Video That Started It

Sunday, September 30, 2012 12:00 pm

[High Praise! to American Power]

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lolbama! Part 103

Sunday, September 30, 2012 8:00 am

Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Arik:

From Arik:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From SineWaveII:


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Bill:

[reference link]

From Hadsil:

From JB:

From JB:

From Richard:

From JB:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

Is it just me, or is Biden really starting to look old these days?


I’ll say Kris for knowing his French Neoclassical paintings, but bacon to Bill for casting Michelle Obama as Auntie.


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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He Can’t Spell, But Apparently He Can Think

Saturday, September 29, 2012 10:00 pm

[High Praise! to The Last Refuge]

More like this, please.

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End the Infection!

Saturday, September 29, 2012 8:00 pm

Scientists have discovered “zombie bees” that have become infected with a parasite that causes them to lurch around erratically and then die.

Very similar to the effect Obama has on business

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PNOTW

Saturday, September 29, 2012 7:42 pm

Keln of Nuking Politics has chosen the Punchline Nuker of the Week.

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Link of the Day: 25 Things That Probably Caused the World’s Bacon Shortage

Saturday, September 29, 2012 6:00 pm

[High Praise! to Les of Brick Moon]

25 Things That Probably Caused the World’s Bacon Shortage

Here’s #26 from Very Demotivational

Oh, and #23 isn’t me.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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If You Believe This, Go Ahead and Vote for Obama

Saturday, September 29, 2012 3:00 pm

[High Praise! to Liberal Logic 101]

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Why Maxine Waters Got the Charges Dropped

Saturday, September 29, 2012 12:00 pm

A House Ethics Committee said their investigation found no violation by Maxine Waters.

Ah… something else these guys couldn’t find with both hands and a flashlight.

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Fun Facts About the 50 States: Massachusetts

Saturday, September 29, 2012 8:00 am

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to pass out on the floor of the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts, so let’s get started…
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In 2009, this design replaced the old state flag of Massachusetts, which consisted of a white field emblazoned with a fat senator waving a gin bottle while driving off a bridge.

* Massachusetts became the 6th state on February 6th 1788, thereby stripping Pennsylvania of its coveted “hardest state name to spell correctly” title.

* The state motto of Massachusetts is “The Yankees Suck!”

* The state flower of Massachusetts is the gin blossom, which made Ted Kennedy’s face a protected state wilderness area.

* The highest point in Massachusetts is Mt. Greylock at 3500 feet. It was recently re-named “Mt. Whitelock” after it successfully defeated a Balrog.

* Massachusetts was nicknamed the Bay State because its large native population of werewolves spend a lot of time howling at the moon.

* The word Massachusetts is a Narraganset Indian word meaning “Tribal elders say ok. Squaw can marry squaw”.

* Massachusetts has a population of 6 million people, all of whom have a harder time pronouncing the letter “R” than a busload of Japanese tourists.

* The state song of Massachusetts is “The Theme From Brokeback Mountain”.

* Actor Jack Albertson was born in Malden, Massachusetts, and was best known for playing Grandpa Joe in the original version of “Teddy and the Whiskey Factory”.

* Salem, Massachusetts was the site of the infamous witch trials of 1692, where over 50 women were burned at the stake for weighing the same as a duck.

* The first subway system was built in Boston, Massachusetts, in 1897. The subway cars were originally propelled by lashing an Irishman to the front and dangling a potato in front of him.

* The town of Franklin, Massachusetts was NOT named in honor of Benjamin Franklin, as most people think, but rather for the token black kid in the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special.

* The city of Rockport, Massachusetts contains a house that’s built entirely out of old newspapers. Visitors are requested not to jump to any hasty conclusions regarding why the toilet is made out of the New York Times.

* The birth control pill was invented in Worcester, Massachusetts, and proved to be even more effective at preventing conception than attending a Star Trek Convention dressed as a Klingon.

* Boston, Massachusetts takes its name from an Irish word meaning “crime-ridden cesspool”.

* The first Thanksgiving was celebrated in 1621 after the sword Excalibur was pulled from Plymouth Rock by Arthur, King of the Pilgrims.

* Why, yes, I *was* watching “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” while reseaching these fun facts.

* All the Founding Fathers threw tea into Boston Harbor during the Boston Tea Party on December 16th, 1773, except for John Hancock, who was busy writing his name in the snow in letters large enough for King George to read without his glasses.

* Massachusetts was originally settled by the cast of the British TV show, “Survivor: Plymouth”.

* Massachusetts is currently engulfed in a brutal civil war between Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kreme over which is the “One True Donut”.

* The Massachusetts tourism slogan is, “Man, woman, goat – whatever – if you can fit it into a wedding dress, you can marry it here.”

* On this day in 1985, Ted Kennedy successfully drove over a brige without killing anyone.

* Well, technically he ran over a homeless guy, but that doesn’t really count.

* Soldiers from Massachusetts are the most feared of all American fighting men, since – being true Patriots – they always defeat their enemies with a last-second field goal.
_______________

Well, that wraps up the Massachusetts edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week I’ll be taking a swing through the land of new cars and breakfast cereals as I visit Michigan.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish getting this goat into a wedding dress.

______________

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

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Perfectly Appropriate

Friday, September 28, 2012 10:00 pm

The US Postal Service says it hopes to increase the volume of junk mail it delivers to shore up sagging revenues.

Giving people more of what they don’t want – sounds like a good Obama 2012 campaign slogan.

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Ok, NOW These Crazy Islamists Make Sense

Friday, September 28, 2012 9:00 pm

[High Praise! to Liberal Logic 101]

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Watch Obama Inspire America’s Future

Friday, September 28, 2012 8:00 pm

[High Praise! to LMAObama]

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Also, Obama Shot His Mother

Friday, September 28, 2012 7:00 pm

In Texas, a deer was spotted repeatedly attacking and destroying an Obama 2012 yard sign.

I’m guessing that, as a fawn, he must’ve had a bad experience with an empty chair.

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You’ve Been Judged!

Friday, September 28, 2012 6:28 pm

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “At the morning White House press briefing, Jay Carney denied…“.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Link of the Day: Satire – Christian Violence Breaks Out Over Claim That Jesus Had a Wife

Friday, September 28, 2012 6:00 pm

[High Praise! to Vital Remnants]

Christian violence breaks out over claim that Jesus had a wife

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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100 Million Will Die From Global Warming!

Friday, September 28, 2012 5:00 pm

According to a report — presumably with Science! in it — a hundred million people will die by 2030 if we don’t act on climate change. But which hundred million people? Maybe it’s a hundred million bad guys and climate change is all just an Axe Cop secret attack.

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