THIS Is Why People Go to College

The University of Virginia declined a request from President Obama to hold a campaign event on their campus.

However, they did say Biden would be welcome at open mic comedy night.

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Illustrated: This Is Honestly How Democrats Are Responding to Paul Ryan

[High Praise! to Patriot Post]

I think this might backfire because of the fangs. Chicks dig vampires these days.

UPDATE: Linked by Doug Ross

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Link of the Day: See, THIS Is How You Can Tell When Republicans Are Being Racist

[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]

Decoding Republican Dog Whistles: A Tutorial

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Disaster Contest — WINNERS!!!

The time has come to announce the winners of the IMAO Disaster Contest.

HIGH PRAISE! to all who participated. Bacon may now be served in the comments section!

HIGH PRAISE! to Carl:

Look! It’s the Michelin Man! We’re saved! Wait a minute… That’s not the Michelin Man!!!

HIGH PRAISE! to CapitalistB

The world’s biggest rest stop?

HIGH PRAISE! to stuff [aka “The Animal”]:

That ain’t no Lincoln Tunnel ahead!

And the winner…

HIGHEST PRAISE! to Les:

Must have been right after driving through the tornado in the original!

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What Goes Boom In California?

People from all over El Dorado County in California say they’re hearing loud booms several times a week, but no one knows what’s causing them.

Probably liberal heads exploding from imagining how the Vice Presidential debates are going to go.

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President Obama Marks Labor Day

Washington, D.C. (NPN) – As the nation turned to various festivities and traditions on this Labor Day, from grilling food in the backyard and spending time with family, to remembering the hard work, ingenuity, and enterprise that it took to make this a great country, the President took part in a ceremony of his own, followed by a speech to commemorate the occasion.

President Obama prepares to lay a union-made wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Job in honor of the many jobs lost.

The ceremony began with the President laying a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Job, and after a moment of silence for the many jobs lost, President Obama gave a short speech to mark the holiday.

“This day, Labor Day, is a day of remembrance of the many jobs that once made this country so great.” said the President. “For without them, we would not have had the peace and prosperity that we so enjoyed before. It is important on a day like this, a national holiday, to remember those many jobs that were saved or created, shovel ready or not so ready, public union or private union, green or kind of green, and all the rest that keep at least some of America working and paying taxes to me.”

“And it is especially important to honor the unbroken unemployment lines, and also the unbroken line of fallen jobs.” the President said. “I see many of them out here today. It is with their continued sacrifice that my dreams of a different kind of America will be made possible. We may mourn their loss, but keep looking forward to the future I am bringing you to.”

After the speech, the White House hosted a special lunch with national union leaders. During this, one of the union leaders, Larry Greer, gave a short speech of his own.

“On behalf of the many labor unions in the nation,” said Greer, “I would like to thank President Obama for his continued efforts in helping organized labor regain its grip on power over evil businesses and the people in general. If it were not for his tireless work to destroy as many non-union jobs as possible, we would simply have faded away with time.”

The speech was met with cheers and toasts in the President’s honor.

In other news, a job from California that was reported missing last month has turned up in the port city of Pinghu, China. Chinese officials have granted the job full asylum, as has been their policy for the last several years while more and more jobs continue to self-exile themselves from the United States.

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Why We Have a Second Amendment: A Cautionary Tale

[High Praise! to The Real Revo]

This isn’t a threat. It’s a fact:

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FUN TRIVIA: You Can Get A Free Bumper Sticker Supporting Ear Leader Garbage Can Liner!

DID YOU KNOW???? If you go here, you can get a FREE OBAMBI bumper sticker garbage can liner sent anywhere you like!

Of course… TANSTAAFL, so the idiots supporting Ear Leader’s Campaign will foot the bill!

Show your support for draining  the PRESidENT’s campaign coffers garbage can protection, and hey its totally FREE!

I’m getting as many as I possibly can. I’ve never supported a Marxist lined the inside of my trash can before! I’m stoked!

PS, I’m sure this gets me on some sort of a mailing list for every one I get, but the way I look at it, envelops, ink and paper cost money too, right? I’ll line the birdcage with those. Soon as I get one.

Update: fixed link
Update 2 :My favorite is the one with the rainbow colors behind That One and he’s looking down smiling at….?? I wonder what???

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Mysterious Rumbling Sound Explained

A “seismic storm” of earthquakes measuring up to 5.4 rattled the Mexican border region recently.

Probably just another convoy of Eric Holder’s gun trucks headed south.

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