Promoted Comment: The Democrat Party in 17 Words

In the comments to this post, Toadroller [High Praise!] said something that I considered profoundly insightful, so I thought I’d make sure you didn’t miss it:

My gosh America, they had to cheat their own people just to get God on the platform.

There you have it. The naked soul of the Democrat Party.

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You Just KNOW Frank J. Does This…

[High Praise! to Stupid Is a Five Letter Word]

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“You Didn’t Build That” Pushback: New Hampshire

[Via Breitbart]

Apparently “You didn’t build that” has become the “Who is John Galt?” of the 21st century.

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Obama’s Best Defense

[High Praise! to After Math]

[Original here]

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The Unanswerable Question About Obama

[High Praise! to Stupid Is a Five Letter Word]

Can anyone tell me of one friend of President Obama’s who is a really nice, normal person?

Just one.

I’ll wait.

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The Democrats Have an Interesting Way of Counting Votes

Not that their inability to count or do simple math is really questionable at this point. Watch as the Democrats disregard a rather vocal number of delegates to amend their party platform…

Haha…silly Democrats.

Hey, and by the way, I just had a birthday. And you know what my parents got me for my birthday? That’s right! Amazon.com credit. What should I do with that?

I was thinking, maybe buy a book or something. I like books. But I am not sure what book to buy. I think I want a funny book. Maybe something with a lot of political satire in it. Does anyone know any like that out right now?

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “President Obama proudly introduces the future of automobiles…“.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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A Late Birthday Card for Detroit

[High Praise! to Gotta Get Drunk First (NSFW)]

Apparently Detroit was founded on July 26th 1701. I did not know that.

Any guesses as to what ending date we’ll carve on the city’s tombstone?

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Link of the Day: On November 7th, Buy Stock in Everything

[High Praise! to I’m a Man! I’m 41!]

Nevins Small Business Pledge – small business owners pledging to create a new job the day Romney swears in

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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A Moment With Joe Biden: Say Cheese

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden.

BIDEN: …The other day this fella came up to me. We were making an appearance somewhere in Wisconsin… I think it was Seattle… and, this big guy comes running up toward me, and I’ve gotta be honest, I thought the Secret Service was gonna take him down. But, thank God they didn’t. Because it turns out that he was a fella named Tom Preston, the nicest fella, who lived not far from where we had our speaking engagement. And Tom said to me, “Joe, I’ve gotta thank you for the work you and Barack have done. I grow cheese right here in Wisconsin, and without the subsidies that you provide, the help that you provide to keep my small, family cheese farm in operation, I don’t know where I’d be today.” Well, guys like Tom are what make this country great, and we need more guys like Tom and his family, who work hard and pay their taxes, and we’ve gotta make sure the government is there to provide for he and his family…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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Obama’s Acceptance Speech Will Answer This

[High Praise! to Legal Insurrection]

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A Special Message From Buttercup

Do as she says! Buttercup needs a new tiara.

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Straight Line of the Day: In the Dumpster Behind the White House…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

In the dumpster behind the White House…

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Nachos and Freedom

It’s your quote of the day from How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome. This one is from “Chapter 1: A New Constitution”:

I like the Bill of Rights. It’s good to have rights. If I had to choose between nachos and the Bill of Rights, I’d choose the Bill of Rights. And then I’d take the gun I have a right to and get my nachos back.

Tell me your favorite quotes from How to Fix Everything in America Forever in the comments.

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The First Term of Obama Has Been a Failure… of America

Over at Townhall, I have a new column on how disgusting it is we all failed Obama these last four years. How hard was it for us to make some jobs after he already did the hard part of making roads and bridges?

And while you’re reading stuff by me, buy my book.

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