Obama Honing His 2nd Term Economic Plan

[High Praise! to Moonbattery]

I heard he used to have a similar problem with Sim City, back in the day.

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Hey Obama, I’ve Got Your “Forward.” Right Here…

Campaigning in Iowa, President Obama said none of the speeches at the Republican Convention offered “a path forward.”

I don’t know about that… Clint Eastwood’s “when somebody does not do the job, we’ve got to let them go” sounds like a pretty good plan.

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “In the dumpster behind the White House…“.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Wait… Did Anybody Fact Check This Post?

[High Praise! to Hope n’ Change Cartoons]

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Link of the Day: Best Photoshop Collection Ever – Conservative Superheroes

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

Conservative Superheroes

My personal favorite: Ted Nugent as Wolverine.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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A Moment With Joe Biden: Catholic Memories

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden.

BIDEN: …but, seriously, it’s such a good feeling to be in the presence of a whole room full of fellow Catholics. Ya know, back when I served as an alter boy shortly after my family had moved from Pennsylvania to Delaware, I met the most amazing priest. He was a big ol’ mick named Father Riley, and he liked to drink, like most Irish do. And, we’d sit beneath the giant stained glass window in the beautiful St. Bernard’s Cathedral after he’d had a few too many glasses of sacramental wine, looking up at this beautiful image of Jesus with his arms outstretched holding a crucifix. And, together we’d say the Lord’s Prayer, “Only love can bring the rain that makes you yearn to the sky. Only love can bring the rain that falls like tears from on high. Love reign o’er me. Love reign o’er me.” Such a beautiful prayer. And, Father Riley would always tell me the same thing. He’d say, “Joseph, no matter what you do in life, never interfere with a woman’s right to choose what she wants to do with her own body. That’s the Catholic way.” And, I’ve never forgotten those wonderful, inspirational words, spoken in that beautiful, Irish brogue. He was such a wonderful man, with soft, gentle hands…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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The Truth About Gun Ownership

[High Praise! to Gotta Get Drunk First]

Seems like however much time I spend shooting, I spend at least that much time cleaning my baby afterward.

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The Economy Is a Wild Animal

It’s your quote of the day from How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome. This one is from “Chapter Two: The Economy”:

The economy is a wild animal. When you put shackles on it, you break its spirit. I remember going to a zoo and seeing a majestic lion just lying there in its cage, a dead look in its eyes. And then the next day I saw in the obituaries that the lion had hanged itself. That’s what regulations do to the economy.

Tell me your favorite quotes from How to Fix Everything in America Forever in the comments.

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Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Thing About Biden’s DNC Speech…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The weirdest thing about Biden’s DNC speech…

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Me and the Puppy Blender on Pain Collars, Giant Robots, and Hippie Punching

I sat down with master blogger Glenn Reynolds for an interview for his PJTV show Instavision to talk about my new book. So go watch my genius and then buy How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome (and pick up a FREE copy of Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything).

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FREE! “Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything” Is Now FREE!

Just in time for Obama’s big speech tonight, Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything is now FREE FOR A LIMITED TIME!!!

What?! THIS IS INSANE!! We’re talking a book that just yesterday was still ranked in the top ten political humor books for Kindle and it’s now FREE?!!! This has to be THE GREATEST DEAL IN THIS HISTORY OF EVERYTHING!!!

But it’s true. To help promote How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome, Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything is now free… but only for a limited time!

Tell everyone! There’s no time to wait! I don’t care if you have to wake the neighbors and they’re old and easily scared, everyone has to know about this RIGHT NOW!!!

So go pick up your free copy of Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything and then buy my new book How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome and own the two greatest books ever as part of the greatest deal ever.

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Here’s Your Sign

A Nebraska school is banning a deaf child named “Hunter” from signing his name because the gesture looks like a gun.

Just out of curiosity, what’s the sign for “politically correct idiots”?

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“Half of What I Say Is Meaningless…”

As a public service, IMAO now presents, for those who may have missed it, the Democratic National Convention Keynote Address, as delivered by Obama Administration Spokeswoman, Julia…

“My fellow Democrats, distinguished delegates, and kindred spirits everywhere, good evening!”

Continue reading ‘“Half of What I Say Is Meaningless…”’ »

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