In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?

[High Praise! to silaS marreD]

Weird little thought experiment over at Reddit:

In a mass knife fight to the death between every American President, who would win and why?

I’m picking Teddy Roosevelt. You know… Rough Riders and all.

UPDATE: I suspect Conan O’Brien would pick Teddy Roosevelt, too.

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Video: This Is Why the Liberal Media Still Has Viewers

[High Praise! to The Raw Story]


[Jest direct link]

Wait for it…

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Link of the Day: Helium, the Next Great War

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

Helium, the Next Great War

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Update Complete: Carry On

Looks like everything went ok. Resume normal activities.

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A Moment With Joe Biden: So Romantic, It Was Like a Movie

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden.

BIDEN: …Such a beautiful summer night. It reminds me of a night several years ago that was very special for my wife Jill and I. Jill, stand up, honey. Isn’t she beautiful? Thirty-five years we’ve been married. Thirty-five wonderful years. But, it was a summer night just like tonight, and we had had some sort of falling out over who remembers what, and she had several of her girlfriends over at the house. But I just had to talk to her. I had to tell her how I felt about her and make things right. So, I come bursting into our living room and there was one of her girlfriends, who must have thought I was crazy, but I just said, “Hello, I’m looking for my wife.” And with that I look over and there’s Jill, sitting on our couch, looking up at me with those beautiful eyes. And, so I said, “Okay, if this is where it has to happen, then this is where it has to happen. I’m not letting you get rid of me. How about that?” She just sat there looking at me, and I remember it like it was yesterday, I said, “This used to be my specialty. I was good in a living room. Send me in there; I’ll do it alone. And now, I just… I don’t know… but on what was supposed to be the happiest night of my political life, it wasn’t complete, wasn’t nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn’t share it with you. I couldn’t hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. I missed my wife.” I told her, “We live in a cynical world, and politics is a business of tough competitors, so try not to laugh. I love you. You complete me.” And, this wonderful woman looked up at me and said, “You had me at hello… you had me at hello.” And, folks, that’s why I love her. That’s a true story. What an incredible wife I have. True story

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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Where Frank At?

I’ll be on the Teri O’Brien Show at 5:40pm ET today.

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Can We Pretend She Was Just Scratching Her Face in an Homage to Obama?

[High Praise! to The Raw Story]

[Title reference link]

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Maintenance

Gonna upgrade WordPress, so I have to disable commenting & such for a while. I’ll let you know when it’s done.

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Raising Aquamen, Not Batmen

It’s your quote of the day from How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome. This one is from “Chapter Five: Our Children”:

Now, think about it: If I told you that your job for the next seventeen years would be nothing but learning, you’d expect to come out of that as Batman—a master of everything. But we’re lucky if our kids graduate with the ability to read and one marketable skill. That’s not even as good as Aquaman.

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lolbama! Part 100

Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From James:

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From The Looking Spoon:

From Mrs C:

From Travelwise42:


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From The Looking Spoon:

From The Real Revo:

BONUS LINK from Irritable Pundit: The DNC Takes the… Chair


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


Kris’s “I hunger”, for referencing one of my favorite 30-year-old video games.

What say you?


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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