One of These Offends the Crap Out of Me

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

[ref 1,ref 2]

Send to Kindle

I Can Understand Why Obama Would Oppose This

The government is refusing to sell its shares of GM stock back to the company because it doesn’t want the embarrassment of taking a loss.

Understandable. Can you imagine Obama’s abject humiliation if the national debt shot up another .1% on his watch?

Send to Kindle

The War On Energy

I was reading stuff on the interwebs today, and found an article on The Daily Caller that talked about the “war on coal” by the EPA.

But, it is really energy in general that progressive types, like the EPA (because lets face it, only tree-hugging communists join the EPA), are at war with. Or, better put, they are at war with solutions. Because the left isn’t interested in solutions, per se. Or, not per se. Pretty much all se, they are against actual solutions to the issue of energy production with limited environmental impact. Otherwise, they would love nuclear power. But they hate nuclear power.

How do I know? Because that is what I do for a living…nuclear power. Using atoms to turn on your light bulb, because I care…about my paycheck. But also, because I think nuclear energy is pretty awesome. I mean, we split atoms and make energy from it. How cool is that? And we give off no emissions. Sure, there is waste, but that is what caverns under a mountain in the middle of nowhere are for. Oh wait, Harry Reid blocked that idea. Why?

Because he is at war with actual energy solutions.

The left doesn’t want a solution. They don’t actually want electric cars that are economical and viable. They don’t want cheap solar or wind energy. They want it as expensive as possible. The Volt costs a lot of money to buy, and isn’t a very good car. That is what they want. We cannot manufacture cheap solar panels, because science hasn’t quite caught up with those ambitions…to a leftist, that’s a good thing.

Why? Well that’s easy. Because, if the private sector solves these problems, then they can’t use those problems to try and control the private sector. It’s really as simple as that. As popular as environmentalism has become amongst the common populace, if it were really feasible to create energy without waste and whatnot, then everyone would be doing it, and saying they did it better than their competitors. Because that is how the free market works.

But, nuclear energy doesn’t give off any CO2, or any other pollutants. The waste is solid and can be contained. Compared to coal or even natural gas, nuclear energy seems perfect. And it is nuclear energy that proves the left’s lie. Because it is a solution to their supposed problem. I say “supposed” because it is the problem that the left uses to further their aims, not actual solutions.

That is how the left works: pose an “unsolvable” problem, and challenge the right to fix it. If the right has any solutions, simply point out any flaw, no matter how minor. Rinse, repeat, ad nauseum. If the right does not have a solution, claim that they don’t care. The old catch-22.

Science! could come up with a way, today, to turn unicorn farts into a perfect energy source, and the left would find fault with it. Because they don’t want a solution, they want a problem. Their theme is that government solves all problems. It is this theme by which they operate. If you solve problems, they lose their talking point. Which is why they don’t ever solve problems themselves, but simply perpetuate them.

Poverty? Keep the poor, poor. As long as they keep voting for you.

Social issues? Trump the causes of this or that group, but never commit to anything.

Environment? Spread the message of doom and gloom and propose government regulation as the answer…without giving any actual solutions.

Economy? Create more public sector jobs, even if you cannot hope to pay for them.

Deficit? What deficit?

Foreign policy? What embassies? We have embassies?

Failure? It’s Bush’s fault.

Angry post? Yes, this is an angry post. Feel my wrath.

Send to Kindle

Link of the Day: Questions Grade School Kids Ask Michelle Obama

[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]

Questions Grade School Kids Ask Michelle Obama

Some of these are just so cruelly accurate. I love it.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Send to Kindle

PNOTW

Keln of Nuking Politics has chosen the Punchline Nuker of the Week.

Send to Kindle

A Moment With Joe Biden: The Middle East

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden…

BIDEN: …so, as I watch these events playing out in the Middle East, and watch our great President deal with this mess that George W. Bush left us with, I’m just so thankful Barack is in office. Ya know, Barack knows how to deal with these folks. He brings so many great, real life experiences to the office of President. He was raised with the Muslim people, attended madrassas… he grew up in Indonesia and Kenya, the son of a Muslim, with a Muslim stepfather. And, I can only imagine the courage that it took for Barack, as a very young boy, to tell his stepfather that he was a Christian. And, to tell those kids… and we all know how tough kids can be in school… bullying and things… and to tell those kids and teachers that he was a Christian. Can you imagine? The courage it had to take to tell these kids and teachers – as a young student in a madrassa – that he wasn’t actually a Muslim…that he was a lifelong Christian. That’s courage, pal. That’s real courage…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

Send to Kindle

Mission Accomplished, Obama!

Ratings firm Egan-Jones cut its credit rating on the US government to “AA-” from “AA”.

So… with that accomplishment under his belt, does Obama still rate himself “incomplete” on the economy?

Send to Kindle

Fun Facts About the 50 States: Maryland

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to take a wrong turn at the Washington Monument and accidentally wind up in Maryland, so let’s get started…
_______________

The state flag of Maryland is best described as, “a Picasso painting of a checkerboard as interpreted by Andy Warhol while very drunk and standing on one leg.”

* Maryland became the 7th state on April 28th, 1788 after it finally agreed to stop trying to invade Delaware to steal its oil.

* The state bird of Maryland is the Oriole, which should NOT be confused with any similarly-named, chocolate-flavored, creme-filled sandwich cookies.

* The state flower of Maryland is the Black-Eyed Susan, or – as it’s referred to by feminists – the “Justifiable Homicide Plant”.

* The highest point in Maryland is Backbone Mountain. It’s 3360 feet tall, and has never been climbed by a Frenchman.

* The state motto of Maryland is, “Yup, pretty much just a suburb of DC”.

* Maryland’s nickname of “The Old Line State” is somewhat of a misnomer, since most of its residents prefer to freebase their cocaine.

* Maryland was named after Henrietta Maria, wife of King Charles I of England. They WERE going to call is “Henriettaland”, but decided that sounded too much like some kind of pussycat-puppet-related theme park.

* The lowest point in Maryland is Bloody Point Hole, at 174 feet below sea level. It used to be deeper, but Karl Rove’s been using it a lot lately to dispose of “stifled dissenters”, if you know what I mean.

* Presidential assassin John Wilkes Booth was born in Bel Air, Maryland in 1838. Because of his high-profile crime, all US theaters now have “Marylander detectors” at each entrance as a security precaution.

* Famous abolitionist Frederick Douglass was born in Tuckahoe, Maryland, which – and I can’t emphasize this enough – starts with the letter “T”, so really watch that left index finger while you’re typing.

* Another famous abolitionist – Harriet Tubman – was born in Dorchester County, Maryland and freed over 300 slaves during 20 trips between Maryland and Pennsylvania. Today, many black people honor her heroic journeys by running up and down a wooden court for an hour, symbolically helping basketballs escape slavery by throwing them through “freedom hoops”.

* Gaithersburg, Maryland is home to the National Institute of Standards and Technology. It employs over 3000 pimply-faced geek-boys, none of whom have yet kissed a real girl.

* National Anthem author Francis Scott Key was born in Frederick, Maryland, where he spent his formative years blowing stuff up and writing poetry about the explosions.

* Baseball Hall-of-Famer Babe Ruth grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, and developed his legendary slugging prowess by working as a knee-cap breaker for local loan sharks.

* The United States Naval Academy was founded on October 10, 1845 at Annapolis, Maryland. Coincidentally, the United States Hooker Academy was founded across the street the next day.

* The first cathedral in the US was built in Baltimore, Maryland in 1821, mostly to clear the streets of the numerous drunken Irishmen passed out in the gutters.

* Annapolis, Maryland once served as the capital of the US, but the Congressional building was eventually moved to Washington, D.C. to make room for the United States Hooker Academy.

* The first dental school in the US opened at the University of Maryland in 1840. The early facilities were quite primitive, and the first class taught there was a course in how to make a set of dentures out of duct tape and roofing nails.

* The Concord Point lighthouse is the oldest continuously operated lighthouse in Maryland, because no one in the state is smart enough to figure out how to operate the light switch.

* Maryland was originally populated by confused colonists from Virginia who wandered too far north and got stuck in snowbanks.

* Kind of explains the light switch thing, doesn’t it?

* The highest waterfall in Maryland is Muddy Creek Falls. At 63 feet tall, it’s actually large enough for Michael Moore to fit underneath it, unless he’s laying on his back.

* In 1790 Maryland rounded up all the lawyers in the state and threw them into a fetid swamp near the southern border of the state, now known as Washington, D.C.

* The first successful manned hot air balloon launch occurred in Baltimore, Maryland in 1784. The pilot – Edward Warren – reportedly described his trip as “a great way to peek down the front of women’s dresses.”

* The state song of Maryland is “Maybe We Should’ve Killed Those Lawyers Before We Threw Them In That Swamp”.
_______________

Well, that wraps up the Maryland edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be swerving off a bridge like a Kennedy as we visit Massachusetts.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take a hot air balloon ride.

_______________

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

Send to Kindle

Name that flag!

You’ve seen that flag Obama is selling, right?

Yesterday, Frank J. was wondering how the pledge of allegiance to that flag might go.

I kinda wonder something else. My country’s flag has some nicknames, such as “Old Glory,” “The Stars and Stripes,” and “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

Obama’s flag? I’m not sure what to call it. An Obama-nation fits, but that’s been used before.

Suggestions?

Send to Kindle