This is Why Joe Biden Is More Dangerous Than You Thought

Secret Service officials refused to allow protesting students at Wright State University to assemble within one-quarter mile of Vice President Joe Biden during his visit.

I had no idea Joe’s gaffes had that big of a blast radius.

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How Liberals View Government

[High Praise! to Grandpa John]

Oh, if you can’t read it, the little door on the right says “non-believers” above it.

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More Heartless Mockery of Obama Pledgers

[High Praise! to Les of Brick Moon]

So… the chick on the right… What’s her T-shirt say?

Too long for “bullies”, but that’s all I can think of.

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Michelle Obama’s new school lunch menu… “.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Thanks to Obama, “I Built This” Banner-Printing Business Now Booming

[High Praise! to The Last Refuge]

No idea what Paul’s business is or where it’s located. Any of you Nukers got an inkling?

Ya know, if Obama’s re-elected, I’m picturing a new sign gaining popularity:

“I built this, and now I’m tearing it down. I am John Galt and I approve this message”

UPDATE: Per Gradual Dazzle [High Praise!]:

“I would venture to guess that it’s JennMar in Pennsylvania. Can’t guarantee it, but an extensive cootie-hunt Google search turned that up.”

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Link of the Day: Mayor Bloomberg’s Impassioned Crusade for Mandatory Breastfeeding

[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld and The Daily Rash]

Mayor Bloomberg’s Impassioned Crusade for Mandatory Breastfeeding

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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A Moment With Joe Biden: Misunderstood

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden…

BIDEN: …ya know, my wife Jill was giving a speech the other day, and somehow someone in the audience misunderstood and thought she was talking about the size of my …well, my manhood. And, of course she wasn’t. But, they thought she was, and it’s so ridiculous. And, it’s so innocent because sometimes words have two meanings. And, so oftentimes you can be misunderstood for no reason. See, she’s like me, she doesn’t need a prompter. And she’s very encouraging for me to try new things… she always says she likes whatever comes out of my head. And that’s what she talks about too. She always says, “Joe’s not stiff, he’s an old softy. He’s not so rigid. He likes to shake things up… he’ll come in the backdoor instead of the front door for no reason.” And, she encourages me to do that. And, if she’s excited about something I’m doing, she’ll just keep pumping me up until there’s some kind of climax that we’re both very happy with. Then we both lay back and sleep that night knowing that we did it together. She’s very stimulating to have on the campaign trail. What a great woman…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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Wisdom of the Day: Ahmadinejad Steak Ravine

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How to Get Out of Jury Duty

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

Don’t know if Lactose the Intolerant had Frank in mind when he wrote this, but it might come in handy in the near future:
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* Come to the courthouse dressed as a gay cowboy eating pudding.

* Ask if all of your personalities get a vote.

* No habla inlges, usted.

* Oh no, I can be fair and impartial. I hate all races equally.

* Wink at the defendant and whisper, “Call me.”

* Quote Matthew 7:1 and claim you aren’t allowed to judge based upon your religious convictions.

* Oh yeah, I can tell if someone’s guilty just by looking at their aura.

* Look at the defendant and say, “Dude. We missed you at the 10 year reunion.”

* Answer all questions in the dark language of Mordor.

* Tell the lawyers that your favorite movie is The Runaway Jury.

* On the jury questionnaire under political preference list: anarchist.

* I would be loving to be serve on this jury of the infidel. Allahu akbar. Sharia. I brought my own stones.

* Approach the defendant with open arms. “Come here you. It looks like you just didn’t get enough hugs as a child.”

* Heads guilty. Tails innocent.

* Point at the prosecuting attorney, “Remember that day you found out you passed the bar. Man, I have never seen you so stoned.”

* Before we get started, let me review for you all the prime directive.

* Glare at the judge and remark stoically, “I know what you did. The angels told me so.”

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People Seem Confused About Rights and Freedom Lately

So an MSNBC journalist tried to spray paint over ads she didn’t like thought that was an expression of free speech — instead of it trying to suppress speech as well as being illegal vandalism. With this, the people saying the makers of that video making fun of Islam should be arrested, and the recent Slate piece against free speech, it really seems like the country needs a remedial freedom course for everyone to take. This — like most good ideas — is talked about in my new book. We need a class explain what rights are and what they aren’t and why they are important. It will be mandatory for all politicians. So people like Mayor Bloomberg will have to keep taking it over and over until he passes and will be repeatedly shocked in the meantime (my advice is to also equip all politicians with pain collars for learning purposes). It really seems like we should all be on the same page on what rights are if we want to get anywhere with this country. I used to think these were things we all agreed were worth fighting for, but it’s looking less and less that way. Let’s at least all agree what rights and freedom are and then we can line up on the for and against sides.

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Straight Line of the Day: At the Morning White House Press Briefing, Jay Carney Denied …

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

At the morning White House press briefing, Jay Carney denied…

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A Retrospective on the 2012 Election

So the election is basically over. I know, we haven’t even gotten to the debates, but recent polls show a bunch of battleground states completely out of reach of Romney. Somehow, despite an enthusiasm gap between Republicans and Democrats, Obama is looking to increase Democrat turnout above 2008 levels according to polls. Intrade odds on Obama have shot up in recent weeks, with Obama at a 75% to win. It’s over. Let’s move on.

But first, let’s see what lessons we learned.

1) The single biggest issue in this country is gaffes. It used to be the economy was important. With bad economic data like all this record unemployment and anemic growth, in the past that would be bad for the president. But apparently that’s inconsequential to something called “gaffes”. I’m still a little confused on what a “gaffe” is but apparently Republicans make them all the time and they’re very hard for a Democrat to make. Basically to avoid gaffes, a Republican basically need to not say or do anything. For a Democrat to do a gaffe, he basically needs to like rape someone on camera or something. But anyway, the bad economy doesn’t matter because gaffe.

2) Foreign affairs don’t really matter. There’s a lot of bad stuff going on in the Middle East, Obama has been lying to the American people about it, and… Eh. I’m already bored about this. Let’s go on to the next topic.

3) The first term of a president doesn’t count. Four years just isn’t enough time to do anything, so it’s not fair to judge a president on his first term in office. Everything bad is still all the predecessor’s fault.

4) The American people are attracted to bad presidents. It used to be people wanted a president who would encourage them and believe in them, but they really want a bad boy president who looks down on them and belittles them and their accomplishments. Obama is the president all our mothers warned us about, and that’s why we like him.

So since the election is over, what should we talk about other than politics now? I was thinking about doing video game reviews. Then I could buy video games and write them off on my taxes. And SarahK would have to give me time to play video games because it’s for important blogging. It sounds like a genius idea. What do you think?

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Random Thoughts: Game Over, Man

PolitiFact says they’re a “fact checker.” I rate this as “half true.”

Freedom is the best solution for many things, but the one thing it doesn’t solve is cowardice.

Obama 2012: Win the Future! For Islam!

So are polls saying that Obama will have maintained or increased Democrat turnout since 2008 with no increase in Republicans?

The election is already over? Good, I was getting tired of talking about it. What do we want to talk about next?

So what are the big races in 2013?

I don’t know how an undecided voters ultimately decided on who to vote for, but I assume it’s similar to how duckling imprints on its mother.

Now that the elections is over, it’s a good time to reflect on what we’ve learned from it.

The main lesson I’ve taken from all this is that in politics, economic data isn’t as important as this thing called “gaffes”.

If Obama is reelected, then we as a country have a real self-respect problem.

I’m very opinionated on politics. Mainly I’m strongly against it.

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Will Obama Handle This Better Than He Handled Libya?

In Beijing, a car carrying the US ambassador to China was damaged by demonstrators.

So… think Obama’s gonna have someone arrested for making an unflattering video about Chairman Mao?

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