Perfectly Appropriate

The US Postal Service says it hopes to increase the volume of junk mail it delivers to shore up sagging revenues.

Giving people more of what they don’t want – sounds like a good Obama 2012 campaign slogan.

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Ok, NOW These Crazy Islamists Make Sense

[High Praise! to Liberal Logic 101]

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Watch Obama Inspire America’s Future

[High Praise! to LMAObama]

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Also, Obama Shot His Mother

In Texas, a deer was spotted repeatedly attacking and destroying an Obama 2012 yard sign.

I’m guessing that, as a fawn, he must’ve had a bad experience with an empty chair.

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “At the morning White House press briefing, Jay Carney denied…“.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Link of the Day: Satire – Christian Violence Breaks Out Over Claim That Jesus Had a Wife

[High Praise! to Vital Remnants]

Christian violence breaks out over claim that Jesus had a wife

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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100 Million Will Die From Global Warming!

According to a report — presumably with Science! in it — a hundred million people will die by 2030 if we don’t act on climate change. But which hundred million people? Maybe it’s a hundred million bad guys and climate change is all just an Axe Cop secret attack.

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A Moment With Joe Biden: Paying For It

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden…

BIDEN: …the other day we were at a rally, and I run into this demonstrator carrying a Romney sign, and I just told him, “What’s the point, man? People love Barack Obama. They love the job he’s doing. They love how he’s turned this economy around and put people back to work.” And, the guy looks at me and says, “Joe, there’s no way to pay for these programs you guys are doing.” And, that’s the mentality we’re up against, folks. He doesn’t know how we pay for things. Apparently, this is a person who’s never been taught what a checkbook is. So, how do you get through to someone like that?…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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Remember: The Left Are Not Serious People

Benjamin Netanyahu warned of the very dire threat of the Iranians making a bomb, and the left responded by focusing entirely on making fun of the drawing of a bomb used in his chart. Just reminder that the left are terminally unserious people. Even 9/11 only got most of them to think seriously about things for a few weeks before it was all “Bush is the debil!” If a nuclear bomb actually goes off, maybe we can get them to focus on real problems for about a month or two. The left claim to care about a number of things — racism, sexism, rape, violence — but you can easily find exceptions to this whenever caring about that issue goes against the political advantage of the left. Because the only thing they really care about is their side winning. Because they’re silly people. If you ever want to get things done in this country, the only option is to work around them.

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Obama’s Plan to Fix America’s Credit Rating

[High Praise! to After Math]

[Original here]

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Obama Busy “Governing”

The debates are coming up soon, so now comes the lowering expectations game. According to one of Obama’s press secretary’s, he hasn’t been able to prepare much for the debates because of “the constraints of governing.” I wish the reporters would have followed up and asked exactly what is this “governing” that Obama has been doing.

“Oh, you know, he gets up early. Goes to his desk, looks at some papers… and then governs. Sometimes he uses his computer to govern — you can do some governing online. But basically he just gets all his stuff together and… um… governs the hell out of it. Just busy all day governing. We’re often like, ‘Obama! Take a break! You’ll wear yourself out with all this governing!’ But he’s a governing machine. Just constant governing. He’s just always there with a pen in hand — using that pen to govern in some fashion. Sign things maybe. So, no debate prep, because all of that massive governing.”

Busy, busy guy. No wonder with all that governing he has no time for minor things like debate prep or protecting an embassy.

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Straight Line of the Day: For Obama’s Next TV Appearance…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

For Obama’s next TV appearance…

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Bribing People with Obama Phones

So here was have the ideal citizen to Obama:

Obama gave me a free phone because I don’t work!

I love the Atlantic on this “Just How Racist Is the ‘Obama Phone’ Video?”. Anything critical of Obama is racist; why waste time arguing the degree?

Isn’t this the racket of the Democrats, though? They give people free stuff and say, “If you want to keep getting free stuff, vote for us!” So they’re bribing people for votes, but it’s perfectly legal because instead of using their money to bribe people, they’re using our money.

Yeah, the way we treat spending in government is insane. Of course, as always, I have solutions for this in my new book. We have to completely change our attitudes on government spending, because eventually they’re going to run out of our money. And how well do you think this ideal Obama voter is going to survive when the government isn’t there for her anymore?

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Random Thoughts: Lowering Expectations

Watched The Mindy Project. It was funny. I liked it.

The biggest problem facing our nation now our gaffes. Obama has appointed Biden as head of a new task force to tackle this issue.

Just saw the phrase “backdoor trojan” in reference to malicious code. Isn’t that an oxymoron, though? “We’ll all get inside this giant wooden horse, and then we’ll sneak the horse in through the backdoor.”

Heh, those wacky Jews and their not wanting to be exterminated.

I still don’t exactly understand what you need an iPad for or how I lived without one.

“If 60% of what Obama says are actual English words, then historically he’ll have done a good job.” #DebateExpectationsLowering

“Obama has been hitting the choom pretty heavy for a week straight. I wouldn’t even expect him to be coherent.” #DebateExpectationsLowering

“Obama completely forgot there was a debate. It will be a victory if he doesn’t break down crying.” #DebateExpectationsLowering

Despite huge decrease in Dem and increase in Repub enthusiasm, polls predict increase in Dem turnout from 2008 because SHUT UP WINGNUT!

I feel so superior to those who judge others.

It was very enlightening to see how seriously the left take a nuclear Iran. “ZOMG!!! CLIP ART!!!”

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Obama’s Plan to Rescue Detroit

A Google Street View camera in Detroit caught a picture of a teenager pointing a gun at it.

Expect Obama to call for stricter camera-control laws.

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