A Kind of Ironic Justice

So, a bunch of angry Pakistanis decided to have a protest against that “movie” some guy made that makes fun of Mohammed…because burning U.S. flags and effigies and beating things with sticks is how you make formal complaints to Youtube over there.

In a twist of fate, one of the protesters died from inhaling smoke from the burning of American flags:

One of the participants of the rally, Abdullah Ismail, passed away after he was taken to Mayo Hospital. Witnesses said he had complained of feeling unwell from the smoke from US flags burnt at the rally.

It’s probably wrong to find that funny, but I did anyway.

And it gave me an idea: purposely making flags for export use out of materials that are perfectly safe, unless you burn it, at which point it gives off a deadly toxic gas. We can put big warning labels on them, for safety: “Burning this flag may cause immediate death from inhalation of toxic vapors, or delayed death from American military.”

Not that we’d attack people for burning our flag, but people over there who like to do that and get all angry and violenty, tend to meet the business end of a drone or cruise missile sooner or later.

It’s just karma or somesuch.

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11 Comments

  1. We should make flags of some sort of materials that are perfectly safe, unless you burn it, at which point it lets out a mushroom cloud of fire which will immolate anyone standing around it. Perhaps the stars could have a touch of C-4 in them….

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  2. Abdullah Ismail: “Gee, Abdullah Ahkmed, I don’t know why I’m here at the Religion of Peace Rally. It seems so foolish.”
    Abdullah Ahkmed: “It’s fun throwing rocks and lighting stuff afire. It’s all in the name of peace, anyway. Here, try burning this American flag.”
    Abdullah Ismail: “I dunno, Ahkmed. Seems pretty dangerous. I could get hurt or die.”
    Abdullah Ahkmed: “Don’t be a wuss. Go ahead. Be peaceful. Light it up.”
    Abdullah Ismail: “Okay….(click. click.) Hey! You’re right, this is fun…and peaceful! Woo-hoo! Lalalalalalalalalala!!! Hack, hack! Cough! Hack! Abdullah Ismail, I don’t feel so good. Maybe I wasn’t peaceful enough. Cough, cough. Hack! This might not have been such a good idea. Cough…”

    Passes out. Conk!

    The moral of the story: Peer pressure can kill, but nowhere near as quickly as an M-67 fragmentation grenade that lands within five meters of the target.

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  3. Toxifying the flag would require a change to the manual for proper flag disposal.
    Perhaps folding it into a neat triangle with the stars outside, followed by launching into space in a rocket – where it will orbit forever, or until it’s needed again.
    At which time it could be de-orbited, and guided to the place where it’s needed by an onboard GPS tracking system (with high-explosive warhead as a mere courtesy detail).

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