Biggest Threat to National Security: Fat People

It seems that a clear and present danger to our national security has gone almost unnoticed, until now. The FLOTUS (which I assume stands for Fat Lady of the United States) has identified this horrible threat, obesity, calling it “absolutely the greatest threat to our national security”.

That’s right, fat people are the greatest threat facing this nation. Not terrorists. Not our enemies. Not explosive events in the Middle East or crazy governments trying to make nuclear weapons. Not cyber-espionage from Russia or China. Not crazypants North Korea.

Fat people.

Well, as FLOTUS, she ought to know.

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11 Comments

  1. Even if I were to grant that obesity is a threat to our national security, I’d have a very hard time ranking it ahead of, say, the fact that her husband is occupying the White House, pretending to be President.

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  2. Pingback: Mooch » Biggest Threat to National Security: Fat People | I'm a Man! I'm 41!

  3. You guys are entirely off track with your guesses at teh meaning of the acronym FLOTUS. First of all, you are assuming Michelle Obama is a lady… she is not. She never has been, is not now, and never will be a lady. FLOTUS stands for Furious Lardass of the United States. Anyone with an ass and thighs that size, should not be dictating (or even trying to dictate) other’s diets.

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  4. C’mon guys. She’s like a reformed smoker. If she is on a diet, everybody has to diet with her. I say screw it! I eat what I can afford. If she doesn’t like it she can pay for my food. I’ll still eat what I want but won’t have to pay for it.

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