[High Praise! to silaS marreD]
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #776,064)
HA! And liberals think guns are only good for killing people…
When you hear Obama say:
I think a lot of this campaign, maybe over the last four years, has been devoted to this nation that I think government creates jobs, that that somehow is the answer. That’s not what I believe. I believe that the free enterprise system is the greatest engine of prosperity the world’s ever known. I believe in self-reliance and individual initiative and risk takers being rewarded.
But I also believe that everybody should have a fair shot and everybody should do their fair share and everybody should play by the same rules, because that’s how our economy’s grown. That’s how we built the world’s greatest middle class.
Know that Obama considers the second part the rule, and the first part the exception, and in any conflict between the first and second parts, the second one wins out every time.
He will never hesitate to beat you to death with that second part and laugh while he does it.
Boeing successfully tested a new “microwave missile” that can take out electronic targets with little collateral damage.
Our enemies will be blind and deaf, but at least they’ll have popcorn.
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The weirdest item in Obama’s 20-page second term plan…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Bill Clinton was suspended from practicing law in Arkansas and paid a $250,000 fine as a result of the Monica Lewinski incident.
He also paid a $850,000 settlement over the Paula Jones incident.
He was also disbarred from practicing law in front of the Supreme Court.
So Bill Clinton, a disbarred lawyer, a President who was impeached for lying under oath, is asking the American people to believe him when he says the best thing for the country is four more years of Obama.
I hate passive-aggressive “this is no time for campaigns” faux outrage. This is America. Democracy stops for nothing.
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) October 30, 2012
“I wonder if there is another side to this political story. I should research it further” – no one on Facebook
— Political Math (@politicalmath) October 30, 2012
BREAKING: Obama to hop into canoe, row down to NY with a bucket, and literally bail out Wall Street.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) October 30, 2012
Phone service is a mess. Can’t call my mom to tell her to check her texts.
— Andy Levy (@andylevy) October 30, 2012
To check on Sandy, Obama said he went to the situation room. Wonder if he had to introduce himself. #tcot
— Fred Thompson (@fredthompson) October 30, 2012
Finally, my Star Wars sheets will technically no longer clash with my Lion King pillowcase.
— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) October 30, 2012
Han Shot Bambi’s Mother First! #DisneyStarWars
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) October 30, 2012
This new #StarWars deal with Disney frees George Lucas up to go looking for his chin.
— Kensington (@NYKensington) October 30, 2012
It takes serious chutzpah to vote for the guy promising ‘hope & change’ one election & then say the other guy is ‘too vague’ next election.
— Kevin Eder (@keder) October 31, 2012
In the news recently: Feelings.
No, not the Morris Albert song. The president’s. Somebody hurt them, if you’re to believe Bill Clinton.
The former president stood in for the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue at a fundraiser recently, and he related something Obama said to him, the Weekly Standard reports:
“I saw the reports of Governor Romney’s latest ad saying that the president had allowed Jeep to move to China,” said Clinton. “And so this morning, before he left Florida and went back to Washington, he said, ‘You know, of all the things Governor Romney has said that probably hurts my feelings the most.'”
Of course, what Romney said was true: Jeep is going to start making vehicles in China. They aren’t moving jobs to China, they’re adding jobs in China, and not adding those jobs in the U.S. Which means fewer Jeeps exported to China. Which means fewer Jeeps made in the U.S. Which means … fewer jobs in the U.S.?
Anyway, the point is that Romney hurt Obama’s feelings. I wonder how Obama is going to feel in a week.
[by Son of Bob]
And now, a moment with Joe Biden…
BIDEN: …so folks we’re down to the final stretch here. We’re less than a week away from Election Day. And, this has been a very ugly campaign that we’ve been up against… probably the most disgraceful I’ve seen in my entire life in politics. These guys on the other side have absolutely no shame. While we stuck to the important issues, pointing out that Mitt Romney might be a felon, and showing the way Paul Ryan would push your grandmother over a cliff, our opponents ran a dirty, dirty campaign, just throwing mud. They’ve run ads showing that the unemployment numbers and gas prices are higher now than under George W. Bush. They’ve cited polls that claim that most Americans are against Obamacare. They were claiming Barack’s message in the aftermath of the Benghazi attacks was dishonest. This is the kind of nonsense these guys are spewing. Here we are trying to run an honest, admirable campaign… we have this wonderful new commercial showing adorable children singing about how Mitt Romney will allow sick people to die and pollution to overtake the planet. And yet, all they can do is throw mud. That’s all they’ve got folks. That’s all they’ve got…
This has been a moment with Joe Biden.
New Crowder video! This time he redistributes children’s Halloween candy and films the reactions:
Meghan McCain and other similarly well-respected Science! experts have pointed out that hurricane Sandy proves global warming. That follows this Science! logic:
Big Hurricane = Global Warming because Science!
The left try to make hay about people who are “anti-science” and are ignorant about the scientific method, but that ignorance is unmatched by that of Science!’s biggest cheerleaders — profoundly dumb people who think Science! is this magical force they can invoke to settle any argument. They’re like a monkey with a gun — they know it’s powerful but they don’t have any clue how to properly wield it. If the proponent of global warming are so worried about respect to science, then clean up the dummies on your side first. How can you fault people for doubting something when the biggest proponent is non-scientist, C-student Al Gore?
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Have you seen how they decorated the White House for Halloween?
This close to a presidential election everything is political — even responses to hurricanes — so it’s nice to have reminders that there are things far more important than our petty politics. And we got just such a reminder when we saw the news that Disney bought Star Wars and will begin producing new live action Star Wars movies. This isn’t just silly policy we like to argue about; this is something that will directly affect all of us. It’s a big deal.
My initial reaction was shock and dread. We were all so burned by the prequels — we were so full of hope and joy for finally having a new Star Wars movie only to find what a false idol George Lucas was. So the idea of more Star Wars movies only makes us think we’re going to get hurt again. But the more I’ve thought on this, the more hopeful I get. What I’ve dreamed about for some time is what a competent director and screenwriter could do with the property — someone who actually understood the magic from the original trilogy. For that to happen, Lucas would have to hand off Star Wars, and that’s pretty much what is happening here. And Disney is planning to make a new Star Wars film every few years, so even if one is bad, they’ll try again — maybe with completely different people. At worst, it will end up like the James Bond franchise — some movies bad, but some really good. And maybe, just maybe, with enough tries and the right people behind it — imagine a Star Wars movie directed by Brad Bird — some of what made us love Star Wars in the first place could return to the big screen.
So now once again America has hope for the future. And it wasn’t politicians that brought that to us — it was a multibillion dollar corporation, as usual.
Well, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is back. Not for gays in the military; it’s (the president’s) new policy on questions about Libya.”
Now, if only the mainstream media would at least ask.
I noticed the audience didn’t like this one as much as some of the other Obama zingers Leno has told lately.