What That Obama Finger Really Means

[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]

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It’s Like They Had Obama’s Phone Tapped

[High Praise! to The Last Refuge]

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Debate Open Thread

Here’s the open thread for the debate tonight because you just have to tell IMAO what you think about what’s going on. What to watch for tonight: Obama and Romney trying to say lots of pre-rehearsed lines and avoiding going off script as much as possible.

We really should do these things after they’ve had days of sleep deprivation. Actually, we should just have the CIA run them. I demand honest answers!

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If Obama Sold Used Cars

[High Praise! to Out of Order]

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Instead Of Pledging to Obama, Try This One

[High Praise! to The Simple Life]

I am an American. I believe in God, family & country. I don’t have much to give, but I’ll share what I have. I have been beaten down by politicians, liars & traitors. They have tried to erase my identity & my pride. But I am an American. I will salute my flag, respect my Constitution & honor my obligations for the right to be free. I will bow only to God & I will stand in truth. They can never take that away from me.

Neither I nor JohnnyB have any idea of the origin of this. You Nukers are smart. Got any notions?

UPDATE: Per Dolly [High Praise!] in the comments, this was part of a letter to the editor at DailyAdvance.com

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The biggest line item in the White House budget… “.

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Video: They Are the 47%

[High Praise! to Teri O’Brien]


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #63,954)

In the movie version of this, these people are wearing hockey masks and driving modified dune buggies.

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Link of the Day: 40 Mainstream Media Headlines You’d See if Romney was a Democrat and Obama was a Republican

[High Praise! to 5of7 and John Hawkins]

40 Mainstream Media Headlines You’d See if Romney was a Democrat and Obama was a Republican

Excerpt:

1) Mr. Fixit vs. Mr. Broke-It: The Successful CEO vs. the President Who Never Had a Real Job

2) Black Leaders on Obama: We’re Still Waiting for the First Real Black President

3) Can Mitt Romney Do for Mormons What JFK Did for Catholics?

4) Experts Say Obama’s Bizarre, Disconnected Behavior May Have Been Caused By His Strange Upbringing

5) The Presidency is Just the Next Logical Step in Mitt Romney’s Lifetime of Service

6) Why is Barack Obama So Angry?

7) Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan: The Best Looking Combination Ever to Run for President?

8) More Deaths in Afghanistan; New Grim Milestone Reached

9) Is Mitt Romney the Only Man Who Can Fix the Damage Done to America’s Economy Over the Last Four Years?

10) Solyndra Nation: How the Taxpayers are Being Pilfered to Pay Off Obama’s Political Cronies

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wisdom of the Day: Garbage College Lawyer Parts Prius

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A Moment With Joe Biden: Go Team!

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden…

BIDEN: …and when we’re not out on the campaign trail or at work trying to help the American people… on a day off, there’s nothing I like better than having a few buddies over and putting the game on TV, cheering on your fantastic football team from right here in Monmouth County Community College. And… what? …you what? …oh, I thought you did. Well, I guess you’d know. Sure. Well God bless ya, I could swear you guys had a heckuva football team here. Oh, chess team? Yep, that’s what I meant. You know, those football guys get all the glory, but if you want to see some real athletes you look at the chess team. Like I was saying, there’s nothing I love better than having a few buddies over on the weekend and watching your fantastic chess team on TV. You must be so proud of those fine athletes…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

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ARE YOU READY?!!!

It’s soon going to be the debate! I’m so nervous, I can hardly stand it. I mean, Romney was pretty good in the debates when I was rooting against him, but what if he stumbles now? What if it’s nothing but gaffes?

“I think it’s funny to punch poor people. So what?”

“I don’t even get why unemployment is a big deal. When not working, just live off the interest from your millions in investments.”

“I’m sexually attracted to men.”

Maybe not those gaffes specifically, but he could say some like them. And maybe we can expect Obama to make mistakes, but what if they’ve developed a new teleprompter that goes right in his eyeballs? Then the only way to defeat him will be to find a way to hack into it. Does the Romney campaign have a teleprompter hacker? Why haven’t they hired me yet to think of things like this for him?

Anyway, I’ll probably be on the Twitters during the debate. See you then.

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FINALLY! Something Obama’s Good At

The federal government is scrambling to end an outbreak of stinkbugs in 38 states.

Give them a stimulus grant. Seemed to kill Solyndra pretty good.

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New Hilarious Comedy: Biden Talking

Joe Biden said that the middle class has been “buried the last four years”, bless his heart. Yeah, it’s like there has been nothing but incompetence these past four years. I wonder who has been in charge?

It does seem a lot like Obama has been running like he isn’t the incumbent. He keeps talking about how he has all these great ideas for the economy and jobs, and you’re like, “Well, why didn’t you do these in the part four years?” They act like the first term never happened, and maybe Biden, as special as he is, honestly forgot who was president the last four years.

We really need a reality show where cameras follow Biden around 24/7, catching all his unscripted remarks and giving him more opportunity to make them. The show could be called…

Biden!

It could run on FOX News a couple times a day. Now someone get to it and give me a million dollars for my idea.

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Straight Line of the Day: Obama’s Debate Podium…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obama’s debate podium…

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Dollas and Lady Parts

So this old video of Obama has been released, and it’s pretty ridiculous. In it, Obama adopts a stereotypical black accent (“Where’s your dolla?”) that I guess he picked up from the mean streets of Honolulu and then goes into a race-baiting diatribe trying to pit white suburbanites against black people. It’s pretty awful. If a white person did this, it would basically be a minstrel show, but I guess it’s supposed to be okay for him.

Anyway, the main message of this video is what’s been pretty obvious for some time: Democrats think black people are morons. They just make a few empty promises and scare them with race-baiting to get them to vote and then otherwise ignore them except for a few patronizing speeches like this one.

Of course, that’s not the only group Democrats think are morons. On the Obama campaign blog, they put up the slogan: “Vote like your lady parts depend on it.” And it’s been pretty clear from the Democrats’ behavior in the “War on Women” that they have trouble fathoming a woman having any concerns beyond her vagina. It doesn’t matter if she’s a law student at Georgetown; just toss a few birth control pills at her and she’s happy. Just don’t talk about the economy, jobs, or Libya in front of women, as that will just scare and confuse them and their lady parts.

The philosophy of government is supposed to be that politicians are our servants. We do all the important work like creating businesses and the technology that make this country awesome, and politicians are the idiots who take care of all the less important things we don’t have time for. But then you have someone like Obama, who thinks he’s our mother and that he’s in charge of us and is supposed to carefully guide us lesser people. That’s why this useless tool is so inclined to lecture us (“You didn’t build that!”).

The government is the least part of America. If we let others make it central to our country, American greatness will end. If a politician is ever patronizing to you, give him the boot. We should never put up with that crap from the help.

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